Single and crunchy

A single female reader of "Crunchy Cons" writes:

Your book was recommended to me by a friend recently, and I am nearly finished reading it. I have so enjoyed the way I have seen my views validated and some of them challenged. I was raised "conservative" republican, which basically meant we were anti-gay and pro-life and went to church. Environmentalists, the welfare system, and human rights groups were evil tree huggers and the dregs of society. What's funny to me is that my parents unintentionally raised me to be as crunchy as I am. We lived simply, were homeschooled most of our lives, learned to cook/bake, had dinner together every night, and ate our fresh veggies straight from the garden. My parents always encouraged me to be an artist (I'm a writer and a photographer) and a servant of all (in our community, our church, and the world). As an adult, I have worked in social services and overseas missions for many years, and have come to see that there is something vastly wrong in the way we (Americans? Westerners? People in general?) live our lives. I found that what I read in your book spoke directly to my desire for something else.

However, I must say that I was saddened by the fact that the single adult was grossly underrepresented. In your discussion about food and family and faith, rarely did you mention the many young adults who are trying to navigate those waters alone. I am not sure why that is, and I am not faulting you. And yet, I wondered "How are other singles living out these values?" You see, as a single woman (who does long for a family one day), I find that living as a "crunchy con" is uniquely challenging. I do not have built in support systems of a spouse or fellow parents. My "family" is made up of other people who live in other homes. I want to eat fresh and homemade food, but often I find myself eating alone. It's just not as fun to open a bottle of wine and enjoy steamed veggies and broiled chicken served to one person. We singles try to live life together, but, lets be honest, it's much harder than it sounds. And being a single, I often feel that other conservatives are thinking "one day, she'll grow up and get married and then she can join us"; and that's a very degrading feeling.

I personally dream of a community where I do not eat alone and where I participate in the education of my friends children and where I am an aunt and sister in other crunchy con families. I dream of a community where I am free to be a creative adult, bringing restoration to God's world, and have a valid standing as a whole person, with or without a spouse and children of my own. It's not that I choose to be single because I don't value family, but rather I choose not to marry the wrong person because I have so much faith in the value of the family.

Perhaps your other writings have been more conducive to both singles and non-singles. I don't know what I expect out of writing you. I guess I just felt that the single woman (and man) needed to have her (his) voice heard in the "crunchy con" world. Thank you for your writings. Keep up the great work.

I really appreciate the reader's kind words, and it's true that I didn't write about single people in "Crunchy Cons," though the omission wasn't conscious. I'm going to send this reader a link to this post, so perhaps she can join in the discussion in the comboxes. I'm curious to know what readers here have to say about her experiences. For that matter, it's hard to live out these values if you're a married couple, but don't have a community to turn to for support. So everybody, let's hear from you re: your experiences, and your advice.