Dang, I think I make most of these with my kids. Especially this one:
Pressuring them to take a bite. Demanding that a child eat at least one bite of everything seems reasonable, but it's likely to backfire.Studies show that children react negatively when parents pressure them to eat foods, even if the pressure offers a reward. In one study at Pennsylvania State University, researchers asked children to eat vegetables and drink milk, offering them stickers and television time if they did. Later in the study, the children expressed dislike for the foods they had been rewarded for eating. Just ask her if she wants some more or take seconds yourself, but try to stay neutral.
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I have a great deal of sympathy for my children's pickiness since I grew up in a family that forced the issue. Mom insisted that I eat whatever meat was served even though I find most all meat vile and repulsive. I still remember choking down German sausage and liver disguised under a heavy blanket of ketchup while trying not to chew.
No thank you. I respect my children's palates. They are picky to varying degrees, but all will eat what I consider a healthy diet - fruits, veggies, whole grains, skim milk and yogurt. They don't like much meat and aren't really keen on foods that have sauces or spices or the like.
I'm pretty laisez faire about mealtimes, as well. I don't like dinner as production number. That's the way it was in my parents' house. Everything revolved around food (not surprisingly, everyone had weight problems, too, not from junk, but from an abundance of red meat and rich foods).
Anyway, if my kids want to snack on yogurt, fruit and cheese, I let them graze. Toddlers and young children do better on several small meals a day than on three massive, American style meals.
I'm with salamander -- I have seen too many kids who rule the roost for food.
I have five kids and the only picky one is the youngest. We have always had a "bites/year of age" rule. You have to eat one bite of everything (all three things -- I'm not a creative cook) on your plate for each year of your age, up to ten. This prevents after-dinner grazing because you have enough to get you through. Everyone gets a pass on his/her absolutely least favorite food (we still joke about one kid's "green bean face").
Youngest is a VERY slow eater unless he's eating chicken fingers (restaurant food), so we just get up from the table when we're done and leave him at it. I move into the kitchen and do dishes, so it's not like we're abandoning him -- just not letting him control the timing of the meal.
And I do not feel guilty in the least. They get more or less what they want for breakfast and lunch, but there's no way I'm cooking three or four dinners, as one of my sisters-in-law does: one for her and her husband, one for the kid who won't eat anything but pasta, and one for the other kids, who won't eat what Dad and Mom do.
One of the tricks/techniques I use with my preschool class is to visibly slam a school-lunch sized carton of milk in about 3-5 seconds, which for some reason three and four year olds think is cool, hold up the empty and say, "I drank all my milk. Yay. Who else is drinking theirs?" And then we wind up with like 12-15 cartons in a row in front of my lunch. Positive peer pressure, no?
What a fun and informative comment section! I have to admit, I didn't even read the article Rod linked to. The gold is here in the comments.
I have a ten year old and a nine month old (intentional gap). I think I've forgotten all these little tidbits, so thanks to everyone for sharing--I think I need to get out my pencil and take some notes!
While the ten year old was picky when he was younger, he will now try anything and everything, generally without complaint. He's required to eat some of every meal item, and he's made some great discoveries that, had he just gone on his initial not-yet-tasted-it instinct, he otherwise would have missed. Calamari is one such example: "Ew, what's that? Mom, that sounds gross....Mom, this is really good!"
So far, the nine month old eats anything and everything. Like Erin, he's very interested in what we're eating so I've been supplementing his baby food diet with things from my plate, like ground turkey, black-eyed peas, and macaroni noodles.
Oops, that should say, "Like Erin's baby daughter was..."
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