David Mills offers parental wisdom based on a realization of a father's limits in shaping the consciences of his children:
There's only so much a parent can do to keep out the world; you can't keep it completely out of your own mind, much less theirs. But even I, with an Augustinian realism about the ubiquity of the world, did not see how powerful it was. I think now that I relied too much on arranging our life the way we did -- not that we ought to have done less, but that we should have done more to make obvious the love that drove us to live such a life. You cannot keep your children pure by force of will and the application of techniques. You must love God so that they learn to love Him too, giving them at once the power to resist the seductive, relentless old world and the desire (with God's help) to keep themselves free from its stain till the day they die.
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Having children has always been a very probabilistic game. Mr. Mills says that "[t]here's only so much a parent can do to keep out the world; you can't keep it completely out of your own mind, much less theirs."
Running that one backwards may be more accurate: a parent can do so much to keep out the world. Not everything, but quite a bit. For my part, my wife works only very part-time, the better to be there to supervise when the kids come home from school. From the time they get home until the time they go to bed, they are either doing homework, going to activities of one sort or another (my one daughter studies martial arts, my other daughter practices for a youth orchestra) or keeping an eye on their younger brothers. They have friends, but going to the mall and hanging out unsupervised is simply not part of their agenda. Never has been, never will be, not as long as they are part of my House. I've explained it to them often enough; there's neither the time nor the money for it, nor is it especially worthwhile for me to let it happen. Having relatives nearby also helps a bit.
Heck, we even manage to keep the TV viewing down to a dull roar, which takes work, believe you me.
I don't think it's so much a matter of "keeping the world out" as it is a matter of making sure that my wife and I get to the kids first. Fill the glass with the good wine first, and the poison can't get in.
Your servant,
Lord Karth
Mills says You cannot keep your children pure by force of will and the application of techniques. This is most certainly true. However, when I read the whole article, it turns out he's talking about anorexia. Anorexia is NOT a character flaw. I can only hope that his daughters never develop an eating disorder, because if he treats it as a character flaw, he will greatly increase their chances of actually dying or doing themselves lasting damage.
Eating disorders, from anorexia to morbid obesity, are surprisingly prevalent among Christians. Could it possibly be that the constant emphasis on purity, perfection, and control demonstrated by Mills' article contributes to addictive and self-destructive behaviors like anorexia?? Naaaah . . . . Anorexics are just BAD PEOPLE whose parents let them watch too much TV. I am tempted to despair . . . .
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