Thanksgiving open thread

Light posting today; the cooking is about to commence around here. I thought it might be nice for us to put our differences aside for at least one thread and talk about what we're especially thankful for on this day.

I find myself particularly grateful on this day for my friends and my church here in Dallas, and here's why. We've been here five and a half years, and though I find it easy to be sociable, it hasn't been easy to make friends. I work long hours, which means I have no time for socializing during the week. On the weekends, I'm usually so busy doing family stuff that it's hard to find time to cultivate deep friendships, as distinct from acquaintanceship. You know?

But for some reason, in this past year I've been blessed to have made new friends, mostly but not exclusively through church, and for some reason things are getting closer to normal. I've also become more aware, as we've grown more deeply enmeshed in our church and community, how precious these things are. Earlier this year I was considering an opportunity to go work in Washington. It would have been a great job, and though we never quite got to the point of making a do-or-die decision, the fact that it was a real possibility made Julie and I think seriously about what it would mean to leave our little community here in Dallas behind. Julia Duin's excellent book "Quitting Church" was much on my mind during this time. In it, Julia writes that people who were once part of good churches and who left them typically find it hard to replace what they lost, and mourn that loss for a long, long time.

Well, we're part of a good church, and part of a good community -- and you can't buy those things ready-made. They only develop over time. I had lunch with a new friend last week, a guy about my age, and I asked him if he and his wife planned to stay here in Dallas, or if he was eventually intending to move elsewhere (he's an architect). He said he'd always thought he might move elsewhere, but he's been here 10 years, and he's gotten involved in various projects around town, and now he realizes that if he uprooted himself now, it would take him a long, long time to make the same professional connections in another city. He finds himself committed to Dallas by default. I think there's wisdom in where he's coming from.

Point is, over the past year it has become more clear to me how it really is the case that one's church and one's community, and how they support one's family, are the most important things in life -- or at least more important than professional advancement. I knew it theoretically, but in this past year I had to put it on the line in a way I hadn't really done before. Which clarified things. Mind you, we might have to leave Dallas one day; I work in an industry that's in steep decline, and I've got to be able to feed my family. Circumstances might require us to move, and if so, that will be a bad day. But this was the year I began to be made more palpably aware of the gift of friendship and community, how vital it is to a meaningful life, and how though it is a gift, it also costs something. That is, friendship and church life is free, but it takes sacrifice to be in a position to receive it.

He who renounces professional ambition, and the mobility it requires, as the telos of his life stands to gain so very, very much. Standing athwart careerism yelling, "Stop!" has rewards that are difficult to imagine, until you find yourself in a position to make that call, and you realize what you've gained simply by staying in one place long enough to put down some roots. So, I'm thankful for friends, I'm thankful for church, and I'm thankful for roots.

You?