Amy is blogging again -- about the loss of her husband Michael, and how God provides, even in the valley of the shadow of death. Amazing grace, for sure.
I suspect some people will wonder how and why she's blogging again so soon after Michael's death. Not me. Julie has observed of me in the past that I respond to suffering, anxiety, and suchlike by writing more. It's the way writers are. It's the way writers process grief, fear, passion, etc. -- and for that matter, how we respond to great joy, too. Amy needs to write about this. We are fortunate that she shares with us the wisdom she's gaining in this terrible crucible, which most of us will have to pass through one of these days.
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I finished one major writing project, and decided to take some time off from writing. I took too much time off and ended up fairly depressed and anxiety-ridden. Part of the issue is, I think, that writing helps me think through my problems and devise strategies. On some level, it helps me bring order to chaos. I'm not in the least surprised that Amy is blogging--it's one of the things (along with prayer and support of family and friends) that will bring her through this.
It is such a blessing to read Amy's writing during this awful time for her. Her accounts pull at the deepest part of me--they are a call to pray for Amy and her family, to pray for Michael, and to be thankful for the blessing of life that I have and that is truly here today and gone tomorrow.
Thanks Rod and others.
I don't plan on doing a blow by blow of what's going in my soul on the blog. I do think that would be self-indulgent, and I do have *some* sense of privacy.
I even hesitated about blogging what I have so far, but the comments have convinced me to continue in a thoughtful way. I think people are really helping each other in that space, and I am honored to provide it.
I started blogging in the last 3 months of my late Husband's life. I blogged some and then incessantly after he died. For three years I blogged. Now, I find myself tapering off. It's a fits-and-starts sort of thing.
For me, the blogging was a sort of journaling. It helped me to process my grief in a relatively anonymous way...like talking to your stranger-seatmate on a long-haul flight. It was cathartic without strings or attachments; cheaper than a grief counselor, too! And it helped, enormously, where my 20-something children had their own processes to get through and Mom had to be strong and supportive. It also filled up the silence in a very silent house and I didn't become an undue burden to my friends.
Today, as I re-read some of that blogging, I am grateful for that space and those words. Maybe, Lord willing, someone, somewhere will find them helpful if they find themselves in the place I was in, if for no other purpose than to know what NOT to do. :)
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