"Cool to be bisexual"

Charlie Wilkinson became one of the murderers, but the killings aren't what shocked me about this story. What got me was this: This is a tiny East Texas town -- and there's a bisexual culture in one of them, among the teenagers? WTF?

Un-frakkin'-believable.

You are not shocked about the cold blooded murder of a family by sociopathic teenagers.

You are shocked that some of the killers are bi-sexual.

Rod...that has to one of the most shockingly bizarre and atrociously inappropriate sentiments I have read in years.

A brutal and vicious crime has been committed, and you can only think that you don't want your kids to be icky bisexuals??!!

Blatant idiocy like this is why so many of my GLBT brothers and sisters use believe conservative Christians are overtly prejudiced.

I think this column needs to be read widely, and I will sending it where it will be appreciated for what it is.

Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, your review of Our American Cousin hit all the right targets, distracted though you be by the firecrackers and backed-up steam engines during the punchlines...

Must remember to bone up on my old Jerry Springer tapes before answering, silently, Brother Rod's rhetorical question, as he prepares to "Go Galt" [or Benedict] on the culture with the little Crunchberries...

You guys are misreading me. Obviously the massacre of this family is shocking. But the existence of such decadence among teenagers in a tiny Texas town is more shocking to me. I didn't say it was more morally offensive. Plainly, cold-blooded murder, indeed murder of one's own family, is just about the worst thing imaginable. The moral breakdown of at least some of the teenage culture in this town, if Mr. Caffey's account is accurate, strikes me as even more unusual than the murders. Which was my only point.

The moral breakdown of at least some of the teenage culture in this town, if Mr. Caffey's account is accurate, strikes me as even more unusual than the murders.

Really? Some adolescent sexual experimentation strikes you as more unusual than a home invasion and multiple murder abetted by one of the family members?

Like I said - your priorities strike me as being askew.

Just as small can be beautiful, it can also be vicious. It is like any of God's good gifts, often they are willfully destroyed.
Here you have a girl, (whose parents obviously love her), who likes a guy, who if he bothered to be respectful, would most likely have found a loving family with which to be a part. What a waste. What evil.

Rod, this says it right here:

Obviously the massacre of this family is shocking. But the existence of such decadence among teenagers in a tiny Texas town is more shocking to me.

For someone who is pro-life, are you really saying you find it easier to accept violence and family breakdown, but find the acceptance of bisexuality more troubling?

Your homework assignment seems to me to go to that town and profile the families of the kids who think bisexuality is cool and the families of the murderers and kids who associated with them, and see if there is any overlap.

I'd like to stick up for Rod.

It is extremely sad, repugnant and frightening to all of us that mass murders by teens of their families, including this one, are becoming more and more commonplace. In fact, even though we are naturally still disturbed to hear these stories, we are becoming accustomed to them happening. We aren't surprised to hear them anymore.

I think what Rod is trying to get at is that, for him (and myself, as well), hearing and realizing that bisexuality is a cool "culture" for some groups of teenagers is what is more surprising about this story.

I think his use of the word "shocking" may have been a poor choice. I do not think he is in anyway implying that their sexual choices, orientations, or affectations caused them to murder.

Peter

I'd like to stick up for Rod.

It is extremely sad, repugnant and frightening to all of us that mass murders by teens of their families, including this one, are becoming more and more commonplace. In fact, even though we are naturally still disturbed to hear these stories, we are becoming accustomed to them happening. We aren't surprised to hear them anymore.

I think what Rod is trying to get at is that, for him (and myself, as well), hearing and realizing that bisexuality is a cool "culture" for some groups of teenagers is what is more surprising about this story.

I think his use of the word "shocking" may have been a poor choice. I do not think he is in anyway implying that their sexual choices, orientations, or affectations caused them to murder.

Peter

I have to agree with (almost) everyone that this post is in extremely bad taste.

Bisexual chic among East Texas teenagers -- or among teenagers in general -- is an interesting subject and one that merits conversation.

But this is neither the time nor the place to broach the topic, given the other and more pressing circumstances involved.

If I were you, Rod, I would simply remove the post and apologize for putting it up.

That would be the gentlemanly and (much more importantly) the Christian thing to do.

Rod,

Save yourself the frustration, delete this post. Write an apology, explain what you were trying to say and hope your boss is going to back you up. I don't know what you are trying to say but I do know you are going to get a lot of heat for this.

I am anxious to read the rest of the series. I'm betting this girl has much more serious problems than firtatious bisexuals and poor choices in boys.

That's the beauty about this kind of sloppy posting - you'd think bisexuality was involved in the murder. It was NOT.

This is about moral breakdown, all right. The moral breakdown of the girl who appears to have rebelled against her homeschooling and upbringing, the moral breakdown of her boyfriend and his friends that led them to kill her family for her.

I appreciate Peter's attempt to clarify Rod's "shock".

But I still think Rod needs to take a look at himself and what he doesn't allow to shock him anymore.

Murder/violence, greed, selfishness folks. Keep your eyes on the prize. The sex stuff is all titillating, I'm sure. But keep your eyes on the prize.

On reading the article, the more 'unusual' and 'shocking' aspects of the crime appear to be the extreme violence involved. There is a lot of things that this story says about moral decadence in America, but bisexuality isn't one of them.

Really, this is in very bad taste.

Maybe homeschooling caused the whole thing. There's an entire subculture of people in this country who think it might, who think homeschoolers are homicidal freaks.

The few bisexuals I know - you can count them on one hand - are too busy with love or its reasonable facsimile to murder anybody.

count me among those who found your comments deplorable. Bisexuals go to school. Homosexuals go to school. Heterosexuals go to school and those who are not yet sure of their sexuality go to school.

I'd think that the murder of one's own parents would be more shocking than the fact that some people sexually go both ways.

And as a gay person all I can say is that I'm thankful that I never had you as a parent. I'd want to learn in an environment that accepts me for who I am and not not one that brushes my concerns under the rug or one that shames me into silence.

I guess I should find your comments shocking but then again, I read your blog too much.

Rod, I share your surprise that a supposedly significant "bisexual culture" exists in a small Texas town. There probably are a number of variables to consider. One might be environmental. What communities experience the largest exposure to chemicals? Probably farm and ranch communities, where herbicides, pesticides and synthetic fertilizers are omnipresent in enormous doses. There are studies out there that are suggesting that some of these chemicals may affect gender identity, sexual preference, etc. I am aware of some anecdotal evidence relating to this. I know a conservative, Missouri Synod Lutheran pastor who married a midwestern farm girl. They homeschooled, etc. Suddenly, marriage fell apart when farm girl turned out to be bisexual. Also turned out that farm girl had connections with others in her conservative farming community that were also either lesbian or bisexual. I realize this is one case, and that I haven't exactly done a scientific study of it. But it does suggest, SUGGEST, that there may be factors in rural communities (beyond the cultural issues) that are leading to higher levels of bisexual behavior. Its an issue worth looking into.

Reading the comments, what on earth is wrong with some of you? I'm not saying bisexuals killed that family.Good grief. It's obvious that the murderers include the daughter and her boyfriend. The bisexuality thing was a mere aside that I found more startling than the murders, given the small-town culture where this crime took place. I freely admit that I am out of touch with teenage culture today. If you're bound and determined to conclude that I think bisexuality is worse than murder, you're completely wrong, and you're willfully misreading my post for whatever reason. At least understand what you're doing, and the bad faith in which you're doing it.

A pastor was shot dead in his pulpit today in Illinois. That appalls me. It doesn't shock me. This kind of thing happens these days. Sad but true. You don't hear every day about a tiny Texas town whose teenagers are engaged in a culture of bisexuality. At least I don't.

Just read the entire article. A repellent tale.

What goes wrong inside a young girl's head - or the heads of her boyfriends, for that matter - that they could kill anyone in this fashion, no matter what the situation?

I don't entertain the notion that this sort of thing is new, still less do I think it had anything to do with bisexuality - the reporter seems to have thrown that in to increase circulation, and it's working here too. But this: a young girl is dead inside. She is capable of monstrous acts. The kinds of things that make grown soldiers vomit on the battlefield get no reaction from her.

This is all very sensational, but there is almost certainly a lot more to this story than we are being told. There were very serious warning signs, or there were things going on in that family that we are not being told about. Something is very wrong here, beyond the tale in the article.

Before the "homeschooling" thing gets too out of hand, a brief survey of the news articles on the story reveals that the murderous teen attended regular, public schools for all but a bit less than three years of her education. The parents homeschooled while they were moving and for a while afterward over their concerns about the schools in Emory. Given that the three young adults who assisted Erin Caffey in murdering her family were not ever homeschooled, it's a little hard to blame "homeschooling" for this one.

As far as what Rod is saying, a Psychology Today report from 1992 on teen murderers mentioned that between 1977-1986, more than three hundred parents were murdered *each year* by their own adolescent child/children. I have to wonder whether the statistics from 1986-2009 would show an increase or a decrease in that annual number; my best guess is that the number has probably gone up, even if only slightly.

So if about 300 parents/year are murdered by or with the involvement of their teens, this is not a rare event any longer. Horrific and terrible as this particular story is, it's not something unheard of--it is, sadly, taking place on a near-daily basis, awful as that is to contemplate.

Now, I still have to disagree with Rod a little; sadly, our culture which pushes all sorts of alternative lifestyles at high school age children is thriving even in small towns, so it's not particularly shocking to me that one small town would be known for its "bisexual" culture. When you get federal money and federal mandates to hold classroom sessions teaching children that sexual expression and experimentation are totally acceptable for them to try out (so long as they paid attention during that condom/banana hands-on workshop), you're quickly going to see kids deciding which alternative lifestyles are "cool" or need to be emulated. The message from adults is "You're not special unless you're sexually active, and you're not really *really* special unless you're LGBTQ etc." I would say that this sad, sick story is the story of how regardless of one's sexual orientation the high schools of America are not in partnership with parents who want their children to appreciate the value of chastity.

The Caffeys' "crime" was in trying to end their daughter's relationship with a controlling and disrespectful young man who was older than she was and who shared none of their values. With the predominant culture, including her school, telling her that she should be able to see her boyfriend as much as she wanted and engage in sex as much as she wanted, the young woman apparently found it intolerable to be told "no" by people who actually gave a damn about the ultimate consequences of her reckless behavior.

Rod,

I get what you are saying. That teens kill their families, their teachers, their classmates is as well known and not uncommon as it is repugnant. It does come as a shock to find things like a culture of teen bisexuality in places where one doesn't expect to find it. For the answer, cable TV and the internet are the great democratizers.

Unlike many who have commented here, I have become somewhat used to the idea that teens kill, and when they do, it's especially, exquisitely vicious and cruel. It's the anti-Michael Corleone. For them it isn't business. It's personal. If there is an added dimension of bisexuality as cool behavior in the story, that becomes shocking.

The tragedy is that children committing murder has lost its power to outrage us. I suspect that those who reported the story needed the bisexuality angle to sensationalize the murders.

O.k I should be working on stuff for my master, however now that i've read Rods post @ 2204 I get where he's coming from.

Rod, you need a mulligan on the blog post. I don't think you were clear enough, and hence your getting static on a subject you didn't intend to address.

Small town can have very interesting skeletons in the the collective closets. A town where I grew up was notorious for swinging parties, mind you, this town had a population of less than 5K, and this was in the early 70's. It was a town with over 66 churches (most some variant of baptist) that were well attended, and an overall, at least outwardly and still is a very conservative mind set.

And I am saying that your reading so much into one person's comment reveals your poor judgment and paranoia in any discussion of homosexuality, and that your lack of knowledge about homosexuality in mainstream culture generally makes your constant posting about it ignorant and irresponsible. There's nothing shocking about a little bit of teen aspirational bisexuality.

Reading the comments, what on earth is wrong with some of you?

We are wondering that about you.

I'm not saying bisexuals killed that family.

You went to an awful lot of trouble to conflate the two disparate themes...and boldfaced the bisexual quote to boot. Not to mention you made that the headline of the story. This is beyond disingenuous.

Good grief. It's obvious that the murderers include the daughter and her boyfriend.

So you had to play up the bisexual thing, even though it really wasn't particularly germane to the story....

The bisexuality thing was a mere aside that I found more startling than the murders, given the small-town culture where this crime took place.

And there is nothing like conflating bisexuals with a grisly home invasion/mass homicide to make your point, right?

I freely admit that I am out of touch with teenage culture today.

The first accurate statement you have made thus far. Be careful! You wouldn't want to make a habit of it!

If you're bound and determined to conclude that I think bisexuality is worse than murder, you're completely wrong, and you're willfully misreading my post for whatever reason.

You sure seem to have fooled an awful lot of us, then. Am I gonna believe you, or my lyin' eyes, right?

Again, you conflate the two themes deliberately, and boldface the most salacious (and unrelated) trope in the story: someone made a bisexual pass at the daughter.

Murder and bisexuals. Bisexuals and murder. I don't want my kids to be like the murderous bisexual kids.

Then you tell us it's our fault for making the connection you seem to want us to make. This on top of saying that you found the only shocking bit of information was the bisexual inuendo. Never mind the gruesome and horrible killing, which was not at all shocking, I guess...

Color me unconvinced.

At least understand what you're doing, and the bad faith in which you're doing it.

Yep.

Utterly freaking tone deaf of you, Rod, and you just keep digging yourself deeper.

You put your foot in it, and have been rightly taken to task for sloppy, sensational writing on this post.

Small towns are not the utopias you wish they were, and bisexuality is more shocking than murder. Your cynicism is unmatched.

what is wrong with you? this is an amazing post and your pathetic attempt to explain yourself has cast you in an even worse light. the homosexual aspect of the story is the last thing that i think about when i read this story.

Phil Hawkins - Care to explain how correlation implies causation?

Something tells me that it's probably only considered cool to be a bisexual girl.

What evidence, from this story, exists that "there's a bisexual culture in [an E. Texas town], among the teenagers?" We have the unverified statement of the father--nothing else. On this point, the odd issue seems to be that a major newspaper would have allowed such a claim to be included an article, without some followup from school authorities.

"When you get federal money and federal mandates to hold classroom sessions teaching children that sexual expression and experimentation are totally acceptable for them to try out (so long as they paid attention during that condom/banana hands-on workshop), you're quickly going to see kids deciding which alternative lifestyles are "cool" or need to be emulated."

Oh Erin, what an utter load of c--p. This is small, town, backwoods Texas. Those kids are lucky if they are getting any sex education at all, between the coerced Jesus praryers and teaching of Creationism in biology class that are likely taking place at the school.

This is a story about cultural breakdown, but it's not the culture of sex education and roving bands of of bisexuals. It's cultural breakdown in White, rural Texas, the heart of the Bible belt. It's about a troubled girl who no one appeared to help, but instead just isolated her more.

And what would you do, Mr. Dreher, if one of your children came home to you in your very moral Texas town and announced to you that he or she was, in fact, a homosexual? Would we be treated to a post detailing the decadent nature of your home life?

"BTW, I was shocked to learn some time ago that in my own hometown in the Seventies, a significant coterie of young adults of my parents' generation were into swinging, and key parties. Tiny Louisiana town."

Flash forward, 2009: Whatever we do, let's not tell Rod about AdultFriendfinder. One five-mile-radius search from said town in the category of his choice, and within minutes: "Uncle Fred? Aunt Peg? Cousin Leo? Pastor McGillicuddy??? Sister Mary?" as he towels the Pilsner Urquell off his monitor. Welcome to the real world of Lousiana, and every other parish, town, burg and hamlet in Hornytown, USA. If the family jewels could talk, your ears would make Arthur Brown's "Fire" headress look like a child's first birthday candle...

Mr.Dreher,I think you need to get out more. You certainly need to self educate before you pontificate on rural Texas culture.

Erin:

sadly, our culture which pushes all sorts of alternative lifestyles at high school age children is thriving even in small towns, so it's not particularly shocking to me that one small town would be known for its "bisexual" culture.

Really? How so?

By telling kids that if they are actually gay, then they are still worthwhile people? Allowing gay/straight alliances on campus?

What a perfectly horrible thought! Closeted, depressed gay kids are so much more comforting for the parents...so long as you keep a close watch on the medicine cabinet and the razor blades.

Sir, it is not that those commenting fail to understand you; it's that they do understand you and are horrified by what you are saying. Teenagers have sex with one another, and sometimes they do things with both boys and girls. This is not a shocker; what is shocking is that you are shocked to discover that it might happen anywhere, even in a location you consider insulated from it. That's the point: no place is insulated from it. Wherever people are, whatever religion, location, or culture, they will have bisexual sex.

By contrast, although people do kill each other, it is very unusual--vastly more unusual and therefore more shocking--that a child would kill her own parents and siblings. The fact that you don't see this is what is shocking the rest of us now! Seriously, think about it just from an "odds" perspective for a moment.