For the past few days, we've had an excellent carpenter, Bart Thrasher (his company is Office of Urban Renewal), and his assistant Luis doing some small projects for us around the house. When we had our pier-and-beam house leveled earlier this year, it pulled the wooden steps away from the house. Bart and Luis re-attached them with a new landing that is both beautiful and strong. Bart's been working on houses in our neighborhood for some time. He's conscientious, his work is first-rate, and though he does big jobs too, he is happy to work with what my wife told him was our "Champagne dreams on a beer budget." I can't recommend him highly enough.
The really cool thing about Bart's being here, though, has been the way our Lucas, who is five, has gotten all into carpentry. He has become Bart's and Luis's mascot, and they've been perfectly kind to him, giving him tasks to do, making him feel included. On Friday, Julie and I were a bit worried that Lucas was getting in their way, but Bart told her no, that Lucas is a great kid, and that he (Bart) hopes his newborn son grows up to be like Lucas. I can see that. Lucas is kind and enthusiastic and eager to help.
When Julie told Lucas that his helpers had just shown up in the backyard this morning to start on the gutters, you'd have thought she told him Santa and his elves had trundled over to work on Christmas toys. He put his shoes on and padded out back.
Julie was just outside watering plants, and came in with a big smile on her face. "Lucas just said to me, 'Mom, could you make me a lunch for no good reason?'"
Done. Little boys are great. Whether they realize it or not, those two hero-worshiped craftsmen out in my backyard now are building more than gutters this morning.
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this is wonderful when this happens. learning by doing. unfortunately, it doesn't always happen this way. i remember when my husband was building an addition where our carport was. we were all excited to make it part of the homeschooling experience. a chance to apply math and geometry and learn the value of creating something useful. the boy was around 8 or so. he looked like he was being tortured. he jumped around and did flips or spun around. not safe in a building environment. we eventually realized his adhd temperament was only going to be able to participate in very small doses. i could see my husband's face once again sadden as his only son was again not interested in something his father was doing, whether it was writing poetry or fixing the sink. the baby girl, on the other hand has always been excited to help in any task, feminine or masculine.
later my husband got the message the best way to work with the boy was to follow the boy's interests and do things with him the boy liked to do. unfortunately by the time he figured this out and spent a year or so devoting himself to his son's interests he was already on his way out emotionally and took his life shortly after.
boys are wonderful, but they are not all alike.
Watch out, Rod, boys that age have a tendency to "imprint" on things, like baby geese (who learn what adult geese look like through a process of "imprinting" on the first large moving object they see). For a trivial example, I have a son, now 41, who will have no dog but a German Shepherd because he imprinted on a Shepherd owned by our downstairs neighbor when he (the child, not the dog) was 4 years old.
Lucas may go into some related field as an adult as a result of this experience.
Which obviously might end up being a very good idea.
Reminds me of a joke about a little kid who hung out at a construction site across the street. Unfortunately, it can't be repeated here.
Having been a small contractor for 20 years, I can relate to Bart, although I'm older; I didn't get into the field until my late 30s. My own kids have been involved all along. When I was working on our first house, we gave our 3-year-old son a scrap 2x4, an 8-ounce hammer, and a handful of roofing nails (large heads are easier for kids to hit). Both my sons do other things for a living, but they are competent in framing, electrical work, and drywall. Even my daughter learned to tape drywall; she watched me and decided it looked enough like her 4-H cake decorating class that she could do it. She's now in real estate management, and I pity the contractor who tries to pull anything on her.
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