Here's some happy news: Peter Suderman and Megan McArdle, two of the best bloggers around, are getting married. Mazel tov! Many years! They've now got to figure out how to get married affordably. Any advice?
I have only a broad suggestion: don't do the mega-blowout wedding. Make it as small as you can get away with, and intimate. Save your money for the honeymoon. If you like Europe, I recommend a winter wedding, with a honeymoon in southern Europe. The temperatures are pleasant enough then, and it's off-season, so there aren't any crowds and the costs are significantly cheaper.
Readers, what do you think? What would you advise? Another piece of advice, probably too late for this happy couple: make sure you marry the sort of person you could travel 13 hours straight with in a minivan loaded with small children and luggage, driving through storms and darkness and the desolation of the Texas Panhandle. Julie and I successfully did it last night. Time for another nap.
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I agree that no couple should feel obligation to go beyond his or her means to have a big wedding, but I think Rod and some of the commenters are unnecessarily dismissive of the "big wedding." Ours was big, and it was a great time, a chance to get together with friends and family. Given how geographically dispersed and busy family and friends can be, weddings and funerals are just about the only time to reliably get people together. And weddings are much more fun.
Really, I couldn't be more stunned to see a traditionalist like Rod suggest that an extravagant vacation is more important than staging a big wedding feast. Just because the wedding-industrial complex has gotten out of hand is no reason to presume that the tradition itself is suspect.
Elope. Many Years!!!
Why should they get married at all? I mean, couldn't they use their wedding fund on a lawyer who can write up all kinds of legal documents (healthcare proxy, inheritance rights, etc.) which would almost give them some of the legal equivalents of a marriage without actuallt going through the rigorous process of getting a state-issued license. Why isn't that good enough for them?
But seriously, I applaud ALL marriages. They should do it small with only their immediate families and best friends. It should be a joyous day, filled with warm memories. Everything else should be secondary.
I'm with Rod on this. Small, low-cost wedding, and honeymoon off-season in Europe. A honeymoon in Europe is not necessarily an "extravagant vacation." A wedding is about having the right start to a lifetime together, not about entertaining other people. A long honeymoon in a wonderful place is a very good way to start a marriage -- much better than spending ridiculous sums of money on a big party.
I agree somewhat with John above. The whole idea of a big wedding doesn't have to be suspect. When I was planning our wedding 17 years ago I was praying about the expense and learned that it was okay to spend some $$ on this type of celebration. When the woman poured the extravagantly expensive perfume on Jesus' feet he didn't chastise her for the waste; in fact he seemed to encourage it. Of course a simple ceremony is fine if that's what one wants too!
For a way to decorate uniquely and inexpensively, check out my website: http://darla.uppercaseliving.net/Category.m?CategoryId=160&CatalogId=DEFAULT. There are some pre-designed choices there, but the beauty of this product is custom design; names on the dance floor, a quote on the wall in the reception hall, initials on champagne glasses, etc. I can send photos of actual weddings should the bride and groom so desire! :)
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