OK, a way out of the hopelessly convoluted porn thread below. Perhaps. I have a few questions, and I want comments to focus on answers to them, without taking the thread off topic. Keep the responses as succinct as possible:
1. Would you care if your daughter or son went to work in the porn industry (as an actor, director, vendor, etc.)? Why or why not?
2. What would you do if you discovered your high school student used a lot of porn, both alone and with his friends? Explain.
3. Would it matter to you if you discovered that your teenager's boyfriend (or girlfriend) was a porn user? Why or why not?
4. If your spouse or significant other suggested using pornography to "spice up" your intimate relationship, would you go along with it? How would it make you feel? Explain your decision.
5. (For religious believers only). Do you think God cares about pornography, and will judge you for using it? If you answer this question, please state your religious affiliation.
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5. It's difficult for me to understand that of people who claim to be religious, most don't seem think that Matthew 5:27-28 condemns adultery: "You have heard that it was said, 'You shall not commit adultery.' But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart."
Protestant
1. Yes, but only if it is in acting/action part. If you are a "director" so be it. I'm sure it's a lousy job, though.
2. Depends on what "a lot" is: everyday for three hours, yes, that'd be a problem. Once a day, not so big a problem. I'd sit down and talk it over with her/him just to find out if there is something deeper going on.
3. I wouldn't care. I'd be rather more afraid if I found out the other was NOT a porn user. That's pretty creepy.
4. I've found that it doesn't do anything for me. My ex liked it from time to time, but most porn actors don't look anything like normal people (in my perspective) so it's rather like watching some cartoon.
5. I'm sure God will judge, but that's not the question. Is it possible to ask for a receive Communion and do penance for such an act? I believe my Priest would not think all too badly if I repeated the sin. R. Catholic.
1. Yes, I would care and would be against it, but not because I find anything particularly reprehensible in the making of porn itself. A decision to go into porn would mean they would be ostracized and even demonized by a large segment of our society, which could close off opportunities to them in the future if/when they chose to get out of the industry. Like getting a tattoo, you can't take it back. Also, because people in that industry are looked down on by much of the rest of society, a higher-than-average proportion of them engage in other kinds of generally socially unacceptable behavior (such as drug use) which are much more physically and spiritually damaging than sex with strangers for money.
2. The same thing I'd do if I found out he/she was having sex with his/her significant other. Talk about it, try to understand how maturely he/she was approaching it, and establish boundaries I thought were appropriate for the situation, up to and including forbidding it entirely.
3. I expect that my daughter's boyfriend will be a porn user. Most boys are. And it will bother me less than will the knowledge that he'll be masturbating while thinking of her.
4. My wife and I watch porn together a few times a month, and have for the last few years. That has been one small component of an increasing degree of sexual frankness between us that we've both found exhilarating. We've come to realize that our turn-ons are pretty common, tame stuff, but being comfortable enough with another person to talk about them out loud is something I never thought I'd do when I was 15 or even 25. We are more deeply in love today than when we got married -- in all honesty, it's not even close. I've had several friends tell me on multiple occasions that I'm the most happily married guy they know. I don't disagree.
5. I was raised Catholic, but am now Unitarian Universalist. And no, I don't think God will care about pornography use. I think he'll ask "Did you treat your fellow human beings with compassion and understanding and love? Did you try to follow the example I gave you in my Son?"
1. I wouldn't want my son going to work in the porn industry for the same reason I wouldn't want him to go into hundreds of other industries or jobs—because we want the best for our children, and I don't think porn is the best job someone can have, in terms of long-term security, safety, money or personal happiness. It's not really going to be my decision though, is it?
2. I operate under the assumption that most men view porn at some level. I will not be shocked if at some point I find out that my son looks at pictures of naked women.
3. I'd be much more concerned with how well they treat my son (or daughter, though I don't have one) and whether or not they are a good girlfriend or boyfriend.
4. Some of my past girlfriends watched a little bit of porn, most did not. I think I watched porn with a girl only once, it was not particularly relevant to our relationship or sex lives.
5. Not religious.
P.S. What Thorsten said.
After reading "Love and Pornography" by Victoria Prater and Garry Prater, I would have to say yes.
My husband did suggest Pornography to introduce into our marriage, and I was a bit turned off and maybe even a bit hurt at first. He brought home this book and after reading, we not only solved our issues with porn but we now have a better relationship all around.
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