Advice for aspiring homeschoolers

I've never homeschooled, but know several parents who do. These two articles (on Salon, of all places!) contain excellent arguments in favor of homeschooling, with some practical suggestions. There are lots of good comments too, pro and con.

1) Confessions of a home-schooler
www.salon.com/mwt/feature/2009/09/28/confessions_homeschooler/index2.html

2) Home schooling: How we do it
www.salon.com/mwt/feature/2009/10/19/o_hehir_homeschooling/index1.html

just adding an amen to that. fortunately, i cook and have flexible hours so can help out there, while my wife covers the homeschooling front. many husbands i know really complain about homeschooling because the home life suffers in the ways that you mention. just seems that ALL social contacts and conversations center around what rubric you're currently teaching the kids.

btw, that was last year. this year, a christian classical academy opened (K-2 this year) that has a hybrid program, home to school program, which allows my wife to teach our son 2 days a week with a coordinated curriculum. pretty cool idea and we can come in on fridays to teach art, foreign language, etc.

About the 'Just Say No To Drugs' thing... I remember when my daughter had just started public school. She was barely five, and came home one day wearing a sticker with a handprint on it that read "Today we talked about inappropriate touching." I remember thinking, "Wow... thanks for warning me!" It seemed like the kind of "talk" that should be left up to parents. But then, I guess the idea is that, sometimes, it's the parents who are doing the touching. (Shudder.) Still, the whole thing gave me the creeps. Then, a couple of months later, I noticed signs posted throughout the halls that read "This is a drug-free school!" I remember thinking, "I certainly HOPE so – it's an elementary school!" Turned out they were having a big anti-drug campaign all month. A good thing, I suppose, but until then, my daughter had never HEARD of drugs, much less considered using them. Kindergarten just seems like a very tender age to introduce such ideas. To say I had mixed emotions – and still do – would be an understatement.

Our two-year-old daughter has been having firefighters come to her pre-school and talk about fire safety. Now, she is obsessed with the idea that our house is going to burn down.

My wife and I home-schooled our hearing impaired son for a year and a half. We divided up the classwork, using purchased curriculum that we augmented with teaching that dovetailed with our own areas of interest (my wife is a potter, both of us play musical instruments and I'm an author).

Every kid is different, but we followed some suggestions that seemed to work well for us and our son, Luke:

- Keep it fun (it isn't just teaching, but you're teaching your kid to "love" learning)

- Don't over do it -- schools waste an incredible amount of time -- you don't need to teach "all" day -- two or three hours should do it.

- Keep it, er, mostly structured -- kids like structure, so find a schedule and keep to it, though don't be so hyper about schedule that you miss out on spontaneous opportunities for learning (bees swarming outside the house is one that I remember -- and it turned into a fascinating few days looking into the lives and behavior of our bee friends)

- Don't be afraid to seek outside help -- our school district offers a program for home schoolers called "Homelink" that is really great -- it provides help and schooling for those subjects that are tough to teach at home and is particularly good for kids in the older kids...

Best of luck!

...oops, at the end, I meant, kids in the "older grades."

I'm beginning to feel experienced after eight years...

General advice:
1) find a curriculum package or curriculum guidebook you like
2) find a support group you get along with
3) read David Guterson's "Family Matters" so you can answer all the stupid comments you'll get with facts and history (he's very liberal)

What I Did for Kindergarten (I only did it once):
1) Kitchen math. He picked something and we cooked it every day. We counted, doubled, halved, and did "egg fractions" with a full carton of eggs. It worked fine as an introduction.
2) "Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons". He was ready and it worked for us -- but if your kid isn't ready or it doesn't work, do something else.
3) Sonlight science K. Very hands-on. I ignored whatever creationism they had and used that time for catch-up. We didn't finish their year; we did the rest in first grade.
4) Read aloud biographies of famous Americans.
5) Bible reading and saints stories (we're Catholic).

One thing I'd do differently:
Work on writing letters a little more consistently.

The hardest parts of an education to find as a homeschooler:
1) Foreign language (we do Latin, but it's not the same)
2) Art - because I'm not artistic and all art classes I can find conflict with all sports my kids like.

I never had to deal with the kindergartner being the oldest kid, but I did do first grade when he was a baby. Nothing you're doing should be so time-consuming that you can't do it during everyone else's rest/nap time. Or they can watch. Or they can "help."

Don't stress yourself. Be ready to make changes. If you're starting from kindergarten, then you're still used to having the kids around all the time -- that makes it MUCH easier!

For kindergarten, specifically:

Relax. 2 hours a day is AMPLE for a good K program. I did it 3 days a week. Play a lot, especially outside, in all weathers. All you *need* to get done by the end of K is reading and counting; anything else is gravy, and you have time to do lots of gravy and still play.

Don't buy too much curriculum. Also, don't freak out (too much). It's K, and even if you screw up it's no big deal.

Enjoy, dress up, read neat stories, and such. Bake some cookies.

At the same time, realize that this is a job. You can't slack off because you're not feeling it. As the kid gets older, it turns more and more into a full-time Job. Homeschooling will not fix all your problems, you will be very tired, and it will be worth it.

Again, as the kids get older--you have to buckle down and do it, discipline yourself. After about 3rd grade, you can no longer get everything done by lunch--my 4th grader spends as much time studying as her friends do in school. I spend a lot of time grading, prepping, and teaching even though she's pretty independent.

I am so grateful that I've been able to be home and teaching my kids for the past 5 years. My house is a mess, I don't have much time for myself, and I haven't sewn as many quilts as I wanted to (and let's not discuss the yard)--I love homeschooling!

And...read "The Well-Trained Mind"!!! PS'ers, you too!

Oh, I thought of something else. Homeschoolers get very tired of being asked about the S-word. And I agree that it isn't really a problem, because homeschoolers mostly have plenty of social contact and do fine.

However, IME you do need to work harder to facilitate your child's social life than you otherwise would. Make more calls to set up visits with friends, take them to park days, just put more effort into it. Most of my PS friends don't actively try to get their kids some friend time nearly every day--they've seen their friends at school and so not a lot of effort is required. I do put in that effort; it's part of the deal.

As the parent of six, two of them homeschool graduates, I'll encourage you to think about the one question that I give to parents who ask me a similar question. Instead of thinking about "HOW" to educate, ie: public, private, or homeschool, think about "WHY" you are educating your child. Asked another way, "What does a well educated child mean to you?" The answer is not as easy as it may seem.

Why you educate will help you determine how to educate. The schools have already thought through this question some and that's why they have these programs in Kindergarten. They know what they want children to think when they move through the system. Sadly, most parents don't and are blindsided but don't know what to do.

Many like this reader turn to homeschooling. And that's great. I'm a huge proponent of this choice and have helped many parents get started. But most successful homeschoolers finish strong because they have some idea or ultimate goal in mind. (subject to modification and you and your child mature)

Obviously, the answer to "Why do you educate a child" will be different for every child and it should be. God gave this child to you and you and your wifely are uniquely qualified to help guide his young life into adulthood. That doesn't mean that homeschooling MUST be the avenue, but unless you determine why your educating him, you'll continue to run afoul of any method, including curriculums used by homeschoolers.

It is a start that they you know you don't want him to learn in Kindergarten what this school is presenting, but it is a whole 'nother thing all together to decide what you want him to know. This would include life skills, character, spiritual truths, as well as academic subjects.

Just some of my thoughts. I'm about to graduate my third son in 2010, I can guarantee that if you decide to homeschool, there will be rough patches, but rest assured that with God's help the end will be better than the beginning.

The problem with homeschooling advice is that the people at whom it's directed don't take it. I'm sure people advised Lynx and Lamb's mama not to raise little racists, for example, but what good did it do?

I'm beginning to feel experienced after eight years...

General advice:
1) find a curriculum package or curriculum guidebook you like
2) find a support group you get along with
3) read David Guterson's "Family Matters" so you can answer all the stupid comments you'll get with facts and history (he's very liberal)

What I Did for Kindergarten (I only did it once):
1) Kitchen math. He picked something and we cooked it every day. We counted, doubled, halved, and did "egg fractions" with a full carton of eggs. It worked fine as an introduction.
2) "Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons". He was ready and it worked for us -- but if your kid isn't ready or it doesn't work, do something else.
3) Sonlight science K. Very hands-on. I ignored whatever creationism they had and used that time for catch-up. We didn't finish their year; we did the rest in first grade.
4) Read aloud biographies of famous Americans.
5) Bible reading and saints stories (we're Catholic).

One thing I'd do differently:
Work on writing letters a little more consistently.

The hardest parts of an education to find as a homeschooler:
1) Foreign language (we do Latin, but it's not the same)
2) Art - because I'm not artistic and all art classes I can find conflict with all sports my kids like.

I never had to deal with the kindergartner being the oldest kid, but I did do first grade when he was a baby. Nothing you're doing should be so time-consuming that you can't do it during everyone else's rest/nap time. Or they can watch. Or they can "help."

Don't stress yourself. Be ready to make changes. If you're starting from kindergarten, then you're still used to having the kids around all the time -- that makes it MUCH easier!

And two hours a day is more than enough for kindergarten.

The best advice I can offer is to make sure that you check the laws for homeschooling for your state. It is VERY VERY necessary to do this, so you don't get in trouble!! States have different requirements, from requiring report cards sent to the local school district, to keeping detailed daily diaries.

I've been enjoying reading this post and the responses to it; I saw it briefly earlier today, and made a mental note to come back to comment, but that was a long time ago--Mondays are often our busiest days, as the planning for the new week's work plus the doing of Monday's work plus the inevitable post-weekend chores and cleaning tend to keep us occupied.

As most here already know, I was homeschooled myself in high school, and have now entered my tenth year of homeschooling our kids (our oldest is in ninth grade this year). I think most of the advice I'd give to Rod's reader has already been given here, but I'd just add a couple of things I didn't see above:

1. As Rod mentioned, support of the dad in a homeschooling family is very important--but it's also important that extended family supports the idea of homeschooling or at least isn't openly hostile to it. In my case, I was lucky, since my mom was a homeschooling mom herself (until this year, in fact, since my youngest brother is now in his first year of college) and my husband's parents were supportive of homeschooling, too. Now, the support of extended family isn't the *most* important thing--many parents have homeschooled successfully even if their extended families are inclined to be antagonistic about it. But if every family gathering is going to be comprised of criticism of the homeschooling family as well as "pop quizzes" aimed at the children and designed to embarrass them as well as their teaching parents, this can take a toll on even the most dedicated homeschooling family.

2. While discipline and homeschooling are bound to intersect, nothing can be more fatal to homeschooling than to misidentify what is really a *discipline* problem or issue as a *homeschooling* problem or issue. If Billy, for example, isn't doing his math lesson because he doesn't understand it, is bored or confused by it, or finds the concept frustratingly hard to understand or the presentation of that concept opaque and mystifying, then that's a homeschooling problem, and there are some steps to take to try to solve that problem that can work within homeschooling: a visual presentation of the concept, some math manipulatives, a more creative approach, a computer game or program based on the concept, a change in textbooks, or even a hired tutor or co-op school lesson, to list some possible solutions.

But if Billy isn't doing his math lesson because Billy doesn't feel like doing math, and keeps sneaking off to set up toy car tracks in the living room, and kicks his feet sullenly on the chair rungs when told to get back to work, and tosses his book angrily on the floor--then that's not a homeschooling problem, but an ordinary discipline one. It wouldn't matter if Billy were in public school and this were a homework assignment; it wouldn't matter if Billy were off for summer vacation and was reacting this way to being told to help empty the dishwasher. The homeschooling math lesson is, at this point, just one of those scenarios in which a contest of wills occurs, and which call for the same kind of loving and patient discipline that parents would use for any similar situation.

What makes things difficult for homeschooling parents here are two things: one, that it sometimes takes some investigation to determine whether the problem is one that requires a homeschooling solution or whether the problem is a discipline issue, and two, the prolonged daily contact with our children sometimes magnifies discipline issues that might have gone unnoticed (at least, until some mention of them showed up on a report card) if we only saw our children in the hours between the end of a school day and bedtime--or the end of our workday and bedtime (e.g., it's a lot easier to take Billy's word for it that he has no math homework until the teacher tells us otherwise, or until his report card comes, whichever happens first).

None of this is a reason not to homeschool, but I think being realistic about these two matters up front saves a lot of frustration or heartache later. And I write as someone who loves being a homeschooling mother and couldn't really imagine choosing a different way to educate our children--but I wouldn't ever sugar-coat the reality or insist that every person can or should homeschool.

One final thing--it doesn't surprise me that "Drug Prevention Week" for kindergartners might be the last straw for someone. I know a family for whom the last straw was a child's history book from the parochial school he was attending. His father, a military man and a military history buff, was livid that his middle-school child's American history text contained exactly two pages about World War II--and one of those pages was all about Rosie the Riveter and the role of women in WWII. It wasn't, of course, that the gentleman objected to children learning about Rosie--but the disproportionate focus and the scanty information about what was a rather important historical event was the final push he needed to go along with his wife's wish to teach their children at home.

Assume at some point that they will go to a public or private school. Make sure that they can organize their work, follow directions, follow schedules, show their work in math, and show some academic discipline. They need those skills in the work place as well as schools. Those are the weakest areas we've encountered with homeschool kids when they go to a public or private school. They seem to be week in the process department. The answer might be right, but you still have to show the teacher the process by which the answer was obtained.

Socialization has been the least of their worries. All have been party animals. :-)

I've loved homeschooling my kids, partly because of all the great books we got to read together (I read aloud to them every day for an hour or so). One of my favorites was the Little Britches series by Ralph Moody.

I see that many resources have already been mentioned, and though I don't want to burden your reader with heaps of resources (and there are plenty out there!) I would like to add one to the list. The Well-Trained Mind (http://www.welltrainedmind.com/) has forums that address all kinds of homeschooling subjects. They have a particular bend toward classical homeschooling. (And just to be transparent of my background: I work for Classical Academic Press, a company that creates curricula for classical education--whether public, private, or homeschool.)

Wow, lots of good advice! Your friend is lucky to be considering this for a kindergartner, because I'm convinced that it's easier to start early than to start later. For a 5 or 6 year old, you can really afford to spend very little time (if any) doing "desk work". SO much learning and scaffolding for future learning can take place in an informal way at that age! Here is my favorite website of ideas for learning with preschoolers and kindergartners: http://www.besthomeschooling.org/articles/lillian_jones_ps_kdgtn.html My children did math as kindergartners and that's it for curriculum work. We tried handwriting with my oldest, but it was like pulling teeth, so I waited a while. Great decision -- when she was more mature, the writing came much easier. Reading might be thrown in there. Personally, I had one who taught herself to read at age 4, and another who was clearly not ready for reading yet at age 5, so I never taught reading to a kindergartner. As someone mentioned, as they get older it takes more time. Dangermom said that by about 3rd grade, you can't do it all before lunch -- this rings true to my experience as well. My 4th grader has a heavier load than ever this year (much more writing for one thing) and she's handling it well. They really do mature into it!

The reading comment brings up an important advantage of homeschooling. My son -- the one who was not ready to read at 5 -- did "How to teach your child to read in 100 easy lessons" (recommended above) at age 6. It was helpful, but he was not a fluent reader at the end of it. Now at age 7, it's finally starting to click. Learning to read has been a long and sometimes frustrating road for him (and me!) He's very bright in other areas, and we don't suspect a learning disability, it's just that not every kids is developmentally ready to read at the magic age of 5 or 6. I remember being in 2nd grade and thinking the children (mostly boys) who struggled with reading must be stupid. They were clearly embarrassed to have to read in front of the class -- it was obvious to them that other children read more easily, and that's not even counting the groans and rolled eyes from brats like me. I'm SO glad that his self-confidence does not have to withstand that. He's not in a bubble; he has a sister who learned to read when she was 4, after all. But when we tell him that all kids learn to read at different ages, he can accept that. At least he doesn't undergo ridicule for his difficulties. There have been many gifts from homeschooling our children, but allowing them to go at their own pace has been one of the greatest. Sometimes that means they go farther and faster than they would in school. Other times it means they go slower. But however fast or slow, they are never "ahead" or "behind" -- they are right where they need to be! I agree with previous posters that some effort should be made to keep kids on par with their peers in case they ever have/want to re-enter school, but I don't think parents should *slavishly* follow school standards. If they are within a year's range on either side, they should be fine if they have to re-enter. Not all kids in school are at the same level either.

That's great!
Naturally, what decision is made in this regard is heavily dependent upon the family's financial, academic, ecclesiastical and similar circumstances. However, I'm a huge proponent of homeschooling and I have helped many families get started.