Brian Kaller and his daughter have been to an Irish wake in County Kildare. Here's what his little girl thought about it. Beautiful.
Brian's posts brought to my mind one of the most beautiful passages in all of English-language literature: the conclusion of James Joyce's short story, "The Dead."
She was fast asleep.Gabriel, leaning on his elbow, looked for a few moments unresentfully on her tangled hair and half-open mouth, listening to her deep-drawn breath. So she had had that romance in her life: a man had died for her sake. It hardly pained him now to think how poor a part he, her husband, had played in her life. He watched her while she slept as though he and she had never lived together as man and wife. His curious eyes rested long upon her face and on her hair: and, as he thought of what she must have been then, in that time of her first girlish beauty, a strange friendly piety for her entered his soul. He did not like to say even to himself that her face was no longer beautiful but he knew that it was no longer the face for which Michael Furey had braved death.
Perhaps she had not told him all the story. His eyes moved to the chair over which she had thrown some of her clothes. A petticoat string dangled to the floor. One boot stood upright, its limp upper fallen down: the fellow of it lay upon its side. He wondered at his riot of emotions of an hour before. From what had it proceeded? From his aunt's supper, from his own foolish speech, from the wine and dancing, the merrymaking when saying good-night in the hall, the pleasure of the walk along the river in the snow. Poor Aunt Julia! She, too, would soon be a shade with the shade of Patrick Morkan and his horse. He had caught that haggard look upon her face for a moment when she was singing Arrayed for the Bridal. Soon, perhaps, he would be sitting in that small drawing-room, dressed in black, his silk hat on his knees. The blinds would be drawn down and Aunt Kate would be sitting beside him, crying and blowing her nose and telling him how Julia had died. He would cast about in his mind for some words that might console her, and would find only lame and useless ones. Yes, yes: that would happen very soon.
The air of the room chilled his shoulders. He stretched himself cautiously along under the sheets and lay down beside his wife. One by one they were all becoming shades. Better pass boldly into that other world, in the full glory of some passion, than fade and wither dismally with age. He thought of how she who lay beside him had locked in her heart for so many years that image of her lover's eyes when he had told her that he did not wish to live.
Generous tears filled Gabriel's eyes. He had never felt like that himself towards any woman but he knew that such a feeling must be love. The tears gathered more thickly in his eyes and in the partial darkness he imagined he saw the form of a young man standing under a dripping tree. Other forms were near. His soul had approached that region where dwell the vast hosts of the dead. He was conscious of, but could not apprehend, their wayward and flickering existence. His own identity was fading out into a grey impalpable world: the solid world itself which these dead had one time reared and lived in was dissolving and dwindling.
A few light taps upon the pane made him turn to the window. It had begun to snow again. He watched sleepily the flakes, silver and dark, falling obliquely against the lamplight. The time had come for him to set out on his journey westward. Yes, the newspapers were right: snow was general all over Ireland. It was falling on every part of the dark central plain, on the treeless hills, falling softly upon the Bog of Allen and, farther westward, softly falling into the dark mutinous Shannon waves. It was falling, too, upon every part of the lonely churchyard on the hill where Michael Furey lay buried. It lay thickly drifted on the crooked crosses and headstones, on the spears of the little gate, on the barren thorns. His soul swooned slowly as he heard the snow falling faintly through the universe and faintly falling, like the descent of their last end, upon all the living and the dead.
Photo credit: Donncha O Caoimh, http://inphotos.org

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Aargh! Captcha got me! Anyway, forgive me if this is a double post:
Cecilia: Thank you for the gorgeous photo. A branch of my family comes from near Spiddal, Galway, and it is a hauntingly beautiful place.
Rod: Thank you for the passage from The Dead. Yesterday, at our family feast, we couldn't help but think of those who used to be with us but aren't anymore. We are all becoming shades, but as Gerard pointed out, there's an answer to that.
The last enemy to be destroyed is Death. In the meantime, we've got to live like we mean it.
Cecelia: Sorry for misspelling your name.
Indeed a beautiful picture, as is the one Cecelia had recommened. I have a Celtic cross grave marker in my family room. They are inspiring.
Ireland is indeed a unique and wonderful place...I've had the great luck to have visited it 2 times. Our family on my Dad's side came from there.
Appalachian Prof - you spelled it correctly - my father spelled it wrong when he did the birth certificate. Although - my mom still claims it was the Jewish Hospital that spelled it wrong since they were unfamiliar with a good Saints name.
I am glad you liked the photo - lots of Spidall photos on that site.
Gerard - thank you for asking, we had a lovely day. I do think though that the holiday gatherings do bring out - at least in the women in my family - a tendency to remember and repeat the same family stories. We use the "good" china and as my sister and I were clearing up we were cataloging all the memories held by each piece, great great grandma's tea pot, the bread basket that was a gift from a departed friend, grandma's silver. The kids were helping us and starting teasing us - but they still heard the stories and of that I am happy. It does seem to me that it was not that long ago that I recall sitting at my grandmother's Thanksgiving Day table and listening to her tell the same story bout her grandmother bringing that tea pot across the Atlantic from Ireland. And now I contemplate which one of the next generation I will be give that same teapot to.
Time goes by fast and yes there is an answer to that.
I have never read that before. Thank you for the excerpt, Rod. Maybe it's time for me to get over my apprehension of reading Joyce and actully give him a try. This excerpt is hauntingly beautiful.
My Thanksgiving was both a beautiful and melancholy affair, and so this post (and the comments, and the photos) fits exactly. I am here in my hometown for the first time in 20 years. When I went to college, my family all moved out, but now my parents have retired here. So we drove around the city, seeing how much has changed (mainly development in all directions). We drove by the home I grew up in, and the home, and the neighborhood, seemed very small.
It is just me and the parents, and for that I am thankful. My older siblings still treat me, at the age of 40, like their student and subordinate. Some sibling rivalries never end. Intimate gatherings without all the banter and bickering are much healthier for the soul.
I am separated from my wife, so she and my children aren't here. (Now that we're separated, we are much kinder to each other. Very strange.) I love them and miss them terribly, but I know for now that this is the best. And it was good to have time and space with my own parents.
Last night we watched "Fiddler on the Roof," which seems like a movie that belongs in a "Crunchy Con" blog post. Love, joy, pain, tradition and its passing, family, faith, dreams and reality, the passing of place and time, peace in the midst of danger. I cried myself to sleep, thinking of my children, with the melancholy songs of "Fiddler" in the background. I said a prayer for them, and asked a benevolent God to restore the love between my wife and I.
I woke up this morning, refreshed and restored, and began the day here on my favorite blog, and with my favorite commenters. And I said to myself again, "I really need to learn how to cook."
Happy Thanksgiving, everyone.
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