Chocolate is evil

Rob, I am with you on this! I have friends in Switzerland who come here a couple of times a year, and always bring me Swiss chocolate caramel bars. I used to look forward to them, but now I just give them away. Now today, one of my co-workers leaves a pile of Butterfingers (Halloween sized!!!) and Snickers in our lunch room/kitchen at work. Honestly, I don't think I had ever had a Butterfingers before today, but I did try one which led to several more. Not bad, but I am not the chocoholic I once was.

Mr. Dreher, @ 10:40 PM, writes:

"Screw you, chocolate, you Branson, Missouri of desserts, you desperate milquetoast Kenny G. crowd-pleaser. You know what? You are so over."

I am shocked, sir. Shocked to the (chocolate-covered) core of my being.

After all, what is more earthy and basic and simple---dare I use the word "crunchy" ?---than a chocolate bar ? Did you not grow up on Snickers and Nestles' Crunch ? Did you not experience as a child the primeval joy of seeing, nestled in the bottom of your Halloween bag, that quintessentially American pleasure known as the Hershey bar ? Does the sound of a Krackel bar breaking, or a Mr. Goodbar wrapper being torn open, no longer touch your soul ?

Are you so cut off, so detached, from your culinary roots as an American that you turn away from a chocolate-laden Smores ? Has your head been so totally turned by a "buttermilk panna cotta with huckleberries and a balsamic-drizzled plum crostada" that you can no longer appreciate the simple and basic pleasure of a chocolate ice cream cone ?

Do you, at long last, sit before us devoid of proper pride ?

You sadden me, sir. Very, very deeply. Now get thee to a Friendly's, order a Hot Fudge Sundae with double chocolate ice cream, extra (chocolate) sprinkles, and thus repent of your wayward ways, at once ! Off with you, O you apostate ! Forthwith !

Now, sir ! And protest ye not, you fallen and wicked sinner ! Just....go.

Your servant,

Lord Karth

Are you kidding? The basic Hershey bar is one of the greatest things on earth -- and it merely the "gateway drug" to the ecstatic pleasures that high grade cacao-derived confections hold in store. When that stuff is melting on my tongue, a CT scan of my brain must look like the Aurora Borealis.

Then chase it with a sip of bourbon. Seriously. Nice Canadian whiskey will do in a pinch.

It's a good thing that God made me a dude. If I'd been born female I'd have killed myself with chocolate already.

1. for your basic American candy bar type product,
it's hard to beat the Dove Dark Chocolate bar.

(it might even mean there IS a God.)

others?

this topic needs an update in a couple of days, after enough of you have had the chance to consume the above.

chocolate faith hope love joy peace to all...

I don't have near the animosity to chocolate described above, mostly because of my wife who practically subsists on it and orders for desert wherever we go.

I've always gravitated to anything with fruit - I prefer pies for my birthday, not cake. My favorite desert is at a North Michigan restaurant that is simply "mixed berries" with a sweet cream sauce - kind of like a whipped cream, but not really - and not to much and drizzled with Frangelica. Perfect finish to either their planked white fish caught from the Great Lakes. I'm looked at as strange when the few times we go to Cheesecake Factory (did I just get myself banned from this blog?) and at desert order their Goblet of Strawberries sprinkled with sugar.

I blame my grandmother who baked pies weekly and as a kid when watching me would feed me raspberries picked fresh and sprinkled with powdered sugar.

Lady Erin Manning @ 1:39 AM writes:

"Those of you who love it and can have it--have a piece for me! :)"

I know how you feel; I love Chinese food (shrimp fried rice and eggrolls are particular addictions of mine), but I absolutely cannot tolerate them. My blood sugar skyrockets even when I can simply smell them. (No lie: I confirmed this by direct observation and experiment.) And let's not even CONSIDER pizza.

So, in solidarity with your situation, I shall dedicate the consumption of my next three Hershey bars to you, milady.

Your servant,

Lord Karth

I have been wondering how chocolate has never really made it into the Chinese diet. After a very spicy and garlicy dinner (Sichuan, Hunan, or even Dongbei in particular, which is more garlicy and less spicy) there is NOTHING as satisfying as a piece of chocolate as a chaser. Oh my does it feel like something meant to go together, or at least in sequence.

In its pre-Colombian origins, chocolate was a spicy drink of the élite, and is still an ingredient in mole poblano, a rich and complex sauce.

All this sugar is a European invention.

Sophie and Michael Coe's "True History of Chocolate" is a classic.

Then there's the research results (sorry, can't remember the link) that indicate that chocolate is a mood-elevating drug for women.

David J. White @ 11:06 AM writes:

"Chocolate has never been my favorite, either. An upside to being diabetic is that now I have an excuse for declining chocolate without getting an argument."

It's all a matter of whether chocolate is one of your "trigger foods".
I've got the Big D Number 2, and from what I have been able to determine, I'm able to eat Hershey-bar sized servings once in a while with no ill effects. It's pizza, Chinese and ordinary sliced white bread that do unto me. I can't even SMELL them without my BGL going into Low Earth Orbit. :-(

Your servant,

Lord Karth

In some places, your position would pass muster as proof of insanity. For me, on the one hand it does raise a few doubts, but on the other, I'm all for it beacuse it means there's more chocolate left for me. I especially like Cadbury's, Ghiradelli, Toblerone, and Dove. I take them all as yet another very sound proof of God's goodness and blessing. :)

It's all a matter of whether chocolate is one of your "trigger foods".
I've got the Big D Number 2, and from what I have been able to determine, I'm able to eat Hershey-bar sized servings once in a while with no ill effects.

I think I probably have the same trigger foods you do. ;-) My point was that if I tell people I don't want any chocolate because I don't like it, I tend to get an argument from people incredulous that *anyone* could possibly not care for chocolate. (Same thing happens when I tell people I don't like watermelon.) But when I tell people I don't want any chocolate because I'm diabetic, they accept that and don't argue with me.

It's as much about avoiding the argument as it is about avoiding the chocolate. ;-)

My mother is always reminding me that her father died of a massive heart attack when she was 14. (Consequently, I missed meeting him by at least ten years). I have endeavored to reassure her that I eat dark chocolate every day to make sure that I do not suffer a similar fate. So far, its working. Also, I love chocolate, and as I have gotten older, I find my taste going less for milk chocolate and more for dark chocolate, the kind that is better for me. Rod probably has a different metabolism, and his body needs a different mix of nutrients. God gave each of us taste buds so that we would know what is good for us. Mine have never steered me wrong.

My wife loves chocolate and fresh strawberries. One summer night years ago, we were on the back porch and she was eating strawberries dipped in chocolate. She accidentally dropped a bit of chocolate and strawberry down her tank top and ... Nine months later our son Lucas was born.