This was baptism Sunday for the deacon. I rotate baptisms with two priests, so I do them four times a year. This was by far the loudest, biggest mob I've encountered. Let me break it down for you.
Number of babies: 11
Number of guests: 250 (give or take)
Number of babies teething, who cried the entire time: 1
Number of other babies who decided to join in: 10
Number of people with cameras who blocked the aisle: 4
Number of parents who walked their babies around church during ceremony: 3
Number of times I had to yell: "Excuse me! Let's continue!": 3
Number of times I was ignored: 3
Number of times I had to check to see if my mic was working: 4
Number of parents annoyed that they had to remove baby's bonnet: 2
Length of ceremony: 40 minutes
Amount collected in donations: $825
Grace received from sacrament: priceless.
My favorite quote of the afternoon, from our sacristan: "Now I know why some animals eat their young."
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Deacon, your parishioners may not appreciate your public discussion of the administration of a Sacrament that is their right. Their poor behavior should be addressed privately. I have become very wary of clergy posting on the internet.
Sounds like a typical mass baptism.
I am the father of one of the 11 baptized by the good deacon two days ago. The deacon's description was accurate, if understated. He was way too nice.
It should be mentioned that we're thrilled our boy received the sacrament. The deacon's message was wonderful. He talked about how, like the Jordan River, the waters of baptism are teeming with life (and yes, he threw in a joke about Britney Spears that got a laugh). It was a thrill to see our baby wear the same dress I wore as a baby when I was baptized as a baby. It was a thrill to bring my own kid to the baptismal font. It gave me goosebumps.
That said...wow. As convert to Catholicism, I had never witnessed the baptism baby factory before. It was a clown show. Thankfully the efficacy of the sacrament isn't contingent on the participants' behavior.
I wrote a long diatribe about the annoying spectacle just now, and described all of the various things that truly annoyed my wife and me. But then I erased it, because it wasn't very nice or written in love.
Instead, let me just mention that Benedict often talks about how the church is too big. This last Sunday was proof.
Nate...
Thank you :-)
In fairness, I have to say most baptisms aren't that bad. I've been doing this for a couple years, with anywhere from three to 12 babies (and the friends and families...). Most go off without a hitch. And most parents are respectful and well-behaved. But this was truly unreal. I'm not sure why this was so out of control. My voice was actually hoarse at the end, from trying to talk over the mob.
Hopefully, next time will go more smoothly ... sigh...
Dcn. G.
I've never seen a "Baptism factory" (great phrase, btw), as every parish I've known does its baptisms at mass. I imagine such things depend a lot on the size of the parish.
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