The Deacon's Bench

Baptism by the numbers

Sunday November 1, 2009

Categories: Sacraments
baby_baptism_1368526c.jpg This was baptism Sunday for the deacon. I rotate baptisms with two priests, so I do them four times a year. 

This was by far the loudest, biggest mob I've encountered. Let me break it down for you. 

Number of babies: 11 

Number of guests: 250 (give or take) 

Number of babies teething, who cried the entire time: 1 

Number of other babies who decided to join in: 10 

Number of people with cameras who blocked the aisle: 4

Number of parents who walked their babies around church during ceremony: 3 

Number of times I had to yell: "Excuse me! Let's continue!": 3 

Number of times I was ignored: 3 

Number of times I had to check to see if my mic was working: 4 

Number of parents annoyed that they had to remove baby's bonnet: 2

Length of ceremony: 40 minutes 

Amount collected in donations: $825 

Grace received from sacrament: priceless. 

My favorite quote of the afternoon, from our sacristan: "Now I know why some animals eat their young."

Advertisement
Comments
J
November 2, 2009 7:08 PM

Deacon, your parishioners may not appreciate your public discussion of the administration of a Sacrament that is their right. Their poor behavior should be addressed privately. I have become very wary of clergy posting on the internet.

dymphna
November 3, 2009 10:44 AM

Sounds like a typical mass baptism.

Nate
November 3, 2009 1:12 PM

I am the father of one of the 11 baptized by the good deacon two days ago. The deacon's description was accurate, if understated. He was way too nice.

It should be mentioned that we're thrilled our boy received the sacrament. The deacon's message was wonderful. He talked about how, like the Jordan River, the waters of baptism are teeming with life (and yes, he threw in a joke about Britney Spears that got a laugh). It was a thrill to see our baby wear the same dress I wore as a baby when I was baptized as a baby. It was a thrill to bring my own kid to the baptismal font. It gave me goosebumps.

That said...wow. As convert to Catholicism, I had never witnessed the baptism baby factory before. It was a clown show. Thankfully the efficacy of the sacrament isn't contingent on the participants' behavior.

I wrote a long diatribe about the annoying spectacle just now, and described all of the various things that truly annoyed my wife and me. But then I erased it, because it wasn't very nice or written in love.

Instead, let me just mention that Benedict often talks about how the church is too big. This last Sunday was proof.

Deacon Greg Kandra
November 3, 2009 1:58 PM

Nate...

Thank you :-)

In fairness, I have to say most baptisms aren't that bad. I've been doing this for a couple years, with anywhere from three to 12 babies (and the friends and families...). Most go off without a hitch. And most parents are respectful and well-behaved. But this was truly unreal. I'm not sure why this was so out of control. My voice was actually hoarse at the end, from trying to talk over the mob.

Hopefully, next time will go more smoothly ... sigh...

Dcn. G.

Mike
November 3, 2009 2:42 PM

I've never seen a "Baptism factory" (great phrase, btw), as every parish I've known does its baptisms at mass. I imagine such things depend a lot on the size of the parish.

Read All Comments

Post a Comment

By submitting these comments, I agree to the beliefnet.com terms of service, rules of conduct and privacy policy (the "agreements"). I understand and agree that any content I post is licensed to beliefnet.com and may be used by beliefnet.com in accordance with the agreements.



Please type the text you see in the box below to verify your post and help us prevent spam. You have a limited time to type - you may wish to compose your comment in a separate document and paste it here upon completion.

Type the characters you see in the picture above.

Search This Blog

feed icon Subscribe

RSS Feed

Receive updates from The Deacon's Bench

About the Author

Deacon Greg Kandra
Deacon Greg Kandra is a Roman Catholic deacon serving the Diocese of Brooklyn, New York.
» Posts by Deacon Greg Kandra
More »

Advertisement


About Beliefnet

Our mission is to help people like you find, and walk, a spiritual path that will bring comfort, hope, clarity, strength, and happiness. More about Beliefnet.

Legal

Copyright © Beliefnet, Inc. and/or its licensors. All rights reserved. Use of this site is subject to Terms of Service and to our Privacy Policy. Constructed by Beliefnet.

Advertisement

Report as Inappropriate

You are reporting this content because it violates the Terms of Service.

All reported content is logged for investigation.