Doing Life Together

OK let me just say, I am not a fan of Halloween. I find it creepy. I hate horror movies. They give me nightmares and our family has purposely avoided those movies.  I never understood the benefit of giving my kids nightmare material.

Personally, I have researched the Celtic origins of Halloween. Knowing it has to do with sacrifices to summer gods in Druidic tradition simply makes me uncomfortable. More poignant, knowing that Wiccans view this day as a sacred day to actively engage in the dark side of the spiritual world, sends me to prayer.

Thus, we have talked to our children about the reality of evil spirits. They are not some Harry Potter fantasy, but real. People engage in the occult. The devil is real and destructive. He prowls the earth to kill, steal and destroy. This is what the Bible tells us and so we don’t want to promote the darkness as fun. However, Jesus overcame all evil so we don’t have to fear. He overcame the darkness (1 John 4:4). It is important to know that Jesus triumphed over death and evil. And every day His overcoming power works in us when we are one of His. So we let our kids know that they are covered by that precious blood of Christ (not scary but comforting).

We don’t do ghosts, vampires and dark spirits. We don’t try to scare each other because fear is not our friend (I Timothy 1:7). We opt for the power of love and a sound mind.

And we are part of our culture so we don’t hide out and get mad at people who celebrate Halloween. We engage with our neighbors. When my kids were young, they dressed up in fun costumes and scoured the neighborhood for candy. We had many conversations about spiritual things with them and decided this was an opportunity to talk about the spiritual world with others. Most times, the kids opted for church alternatives and we hung out with the neighbors and discussed our various views.

So tonight, I will hand out the candy, thank God for being powerful and pray for those who need to know Him. And my kids will be reminded that evil exists, the devil deceives and wants people to believe nothing much happens tonight. But all around the world, there are those who will meet and celebrate spirits.So tonight is a reminder that evil exists, but we have nothing to fear.

Are you feeling stressed? Signs include craving food, irritability and even a racing heart. But reducing stress is easier than you think once you are intentional. Try these three easy tips:

1) Phone a friend. It not only works on game shows but in real life. Simply talking to a friend can release oxytocin, known as the connection hormone. A blast of the hormone is thought to help with coping by taking stress and converting it to social bonding. This can lower cortisol levels associated with stress.

2) Smell lavender. Japanese researchers (2008) found that the smell of lavender reduced stress in a study that looked at people solving difficult math problems. So purchase a vile of lavender oil or lotion and take a whiff whenever you feel overwhelmed.

3) Drink black tea. OK not my favorite but scientists at the University of London found lower levels of the stress hormone cortisol in people who drank black tea versus other hot beverages after a stressful event.

I’ve been doing a number of radio shows because of my new book, Letting Go of Worry. The question continues to be asked, “What do you do with worried thoughts?”

First, let me tell you what doesn’t work-trying to suppress a worried thought! If you keep telling yourself to stop worrying, you will probably worry more. Trying to suppress or push down a worried thought results in more worry.

So, first identify the worried thought. Let it come. It is what you do with it that matters.

Then, take it captive. This means do not allow it to wander in worried waters. Confine it.

Replace that thought with God’s truth–He promises provision, help in time of trouble, His presence, etc. To do this, you must renew your mind with the character of God and His promises. I list several versus in the back of the book to help with this.

The point is that worried thoughts can be captured and redirected.

For more help letting go of worry, click on the book cover on the right.

A recent Gallup poll reported:

• 80 percent of young unmarried Christians have had sex outside of marriage.
• Two-thirds of unmarried Christians have been sexual active in the last year.
• 42 percent of the 18-29 year olds in the 80 percent group are currently in sexual relationships.

Yet, despite these statistics, 76 percent of Christians still believe sex outside of marriage is wrong. Apparently, there is a wide disconnect between what we believe and what we actually do. Why is this and how can we help young adults live what they believe?

1) Have on-going discussions with your young adult about the pressures to conform, availability of pornography, and how they are coping with living in a culture saturated with sex.

2) As you watch media together, comment on how the attitudes in media conflict with a biblical worldview.

3) Go to church. Attending church one day a week (which is what most people do) hardly competes with the daily onslaught of sexual messages, but it does provide a weekly centering and reminder.

4) Continue to read your Bible and encourage your young adult to be in the Word.  This is one way to renew the mind.

5) Pray together whenever possible and let them know you understand how difficult the struggle is and the importance of putting on the armor of God daily (Ephesians 6:10-18).

6) Use news items and stories from friends to remind them about sexually transmitted diseases, the emotional fall out of sex outside of marriage, and the spiritual issues involved. Our culture is all about the physical, but people live with the emotional and spiritual impact of sexually acting out. Talking about someone’s experience in terms of the whole person is helpful.

7) Value marriage. Work through your own marital issues and show young adults that marriage is worth fighting for and needs to be valued.

8) Talk about the cohabitation data. Cohabitation leads to an increased chance of divorce.

9) Encourage your young adult to find friends who want to be accountable and will try to live what they believe.

10) When it comes to sex, resisting temptation is best done by not putting oneself in a position of temptation. Identify the triggers that can leave your young adult vulnerable.