Maxfield Parrish, "Contentment"

I led a program for beginners titled “Key Habits of Creative People”.  We made a fabulous beginning, in the course of which I helped people to visualize a creative project they could bring through in any area of their lives. I guided them to turn their visions into affirmations and practical action steps.

During the break, a very needy woman all but hurled herself at me. “There’s no one I can talk to,” she complained. “There is no one in my life who is creative, no one who would support me if I tried to get out of my rut.”

What I first said to her is very much what I would say to anyone, anywhere, who talked that way. “Right now, I want you to drop the negative mantras. If you keep telling yourself – let alone anyone else – that the world is like that, the world will give you plenty of evidence to support your opinions. If you can step outside those self-limiting beliefs, your opportunity time is now.”

She blinked at me, not yet grasping what I was telling her.

“Look around you,” I went on. “There are forty people here who have come to learn how to be more creative and are seeking creative friends. Go introduce yourself to one of them – a stranger – before the end of the break. Do this with two statements.

“First, tell them something about your regular life. For example, ‘I’m Jill, I’m a software designer, I live in a certain town, I’m a single mother and I run twice a week.’

“Second, make a statement about your creative project. Put it in the present tense and make it entirely affirmative. Say it so anyone hearing you might be inspired to help. ‘I’m writing children’s stories and I’m always looking for new ideas.’ Or: ‘I’m redecorating a barn where I’m going to paint and hold weekend retreats.’ Or: ‘I’m working on improving my cooking.’”

She looked scared, and when she gathered up her stuff I wondered if she was going to quit the room. Instead, she marched over to the cutest guy in the room, sat down next to him and proceeded to introduce herself exactly as suggested. It turned out he had exactly the resources she needed to pursue her current creative project; they exchanged coordinates and promised to stay in touch.

When we started up, I had everyone introduce themseles to a stranger in the group by the same protocol. The listeners were prepped to offer immediate positive feedback and, if appropriate, to suggest tools and resources. The effect was GRRRREAT! Several people said they felt they had literally been “blessed.”

While many creative endeavors, like writing, may be essentially solitary, all of us need a creative friend. A creative friend will support you as you change and grow, and will give you the feedback that brings you up instead of down. A creative friend doesn’t believe in you uncritically; there are things you need to hear, and this is the person you can trust to say them. But this is the friend who is willing to let you fly, even when he or she can’t keep up with you.

So you don’t know anybody who fits that description? Consider the one-two approach that worked that evening for the woman who had insisted she had no one in the world who could hear her or support her. Come up with a simple way to announce yourself, and your creative life project. Try it out, and see what happens.