July 2009 Archives

OK, what's so bad about you? Are you really that worthless? Are you really so fat and ugly? Do you really deserve the harsh judgment and low self-esteem you throw on yourself? Is your life really that difficult? Or are your standards unrealistic or impossible?

Take a break from all the negativity and stress, and tell yourself that you're OK. Be satisfied with what you've got, and how good you actually have it. See the bright side of yourself for a change, instead of constant self-assassination.

Get simple. Take things slowly...do what you can...give yourself a little love, appreciation and respect today...and every day! See what's good about yourself for a change. At the same time, be realistic about what needs improving right away, and only do that. Make changes in little increments, not life-stopping emergency interventions all the time (like dieting).

First and foremost, thank God what what you have today... right now.

Let's hear your comment about what's good a right about you -- and what blessings God bestowed on YOU.

Let's Twitter together!  Sign up please, right here.

Here's a query for your day, today... What is overeating and being overweight giving you? Please think about this, in a very insightful, deep way, and share your feelings.

Post them on a comment below, then come back in a few hours or tomorrow and see what other have said. You may find some intriguing responses to your thoughts, or someone else may have posted something that sparks new insights for you. You may learn a lot about yourself, and your motivations for continuing your old habits.

I found that for me, being fat was a shield against having to be close or intimate with others. It was protection from possibly being hurt. That compounded my problems, though, I began to see over the long-term. I was overeating in the short-term moment of pain, to soothe my pain, but in the long-run, I was making my pain worse. This snowballed into a massive obesity problem (400 pounds of misery). It's not easy to look at yourself, and see your problems. It helps if others are doing this kind of self-analysis, too.

What does fat give you?

 

Did you see the premiere of Fox's new reality dating show, "More To Love?"  What did YOU think of it?

First off, I want to get this right out on the table, I work for Fox because it's Fox/News Corp. that owns Beliefnet.com.  They also own the Fox TV network.  I think it's OK to write about what I truly believe here, so I will.

I was first encouraged and inspired - finally, a TV show that features people with weight and obesity problems!  How great?!  I liked some of the themes that were shown and spoken repeatedly, by the host, Emme, a famous plus-size model; by Luke the 6'3, 330 pound "batchelor," and most if not all the "contestant" women.  Things like: "I want real love, not love that's skin deep," and "I want someone to love me for me," "life's too short to count calories all the time."  I initially fell for Luke's stated "I'm just an ordinary guy, I like plus-sized girls, I like to eat," realities.  It all sound great.

How disappointing, though, really, that after awhile the "real" and "big" themes were so overstated that they began to reveal themselves as clichés.  The show claims to be about love, but it's really about heartache and rejection.  Time and time again right after the self-assertions of normalcy and pro-bigness came the real realities that Luke will ultimately have to reject 19 of the 20 "girls."  They all know it, and fear it, and we hear about it a lot.  The show preys on rejection and failure.

The other constant is the theme of food and fat.  Everyone speaks incessantly about being "big" and overeating.  Contestant Natalie greets Luke for the first time saying, "I like to cook."  He replies, "I like to eat!"  He kisses her and it seems like love at first bite, oh I mean sight, sorry.  Trouble is, Luke kisses all 20 as if it's real love.  It's not, sadly.  It's TV.

"I want someone to love me for who I am... not what I look like," another says, she's rejected at the end of the show.  Not quite cute enough, I guess. Luke is like a factory, repeating clichés such as "you look lovely tonight," and "love your eyes."  We know what he's really thinking.

This show lets me down; it's a sad, sad affair.  There's no talk about getting healthy, or for the grim reality of what carrying 90-100 pounds of excess weight will do to these folks in the long run.  Only, "I love meat; the way to a man's heart is through his stomach."

It's a set-up for shame, envy and rejection.  Cat fights are obviously encouraged between female rivals.  Girls, ehem, women, are repeatedly commoditized and held to impossible standards while announcements are oft made about how it's not about being fat.  It's all about fat, shame, and embarrassment.  Luke's fallen for it too: it's clear that he's to select the most pretty and even wealthy/successful one.

It's cruel.  The contestants are all given diamond rings by Luke, with "will you wear this ring," asked in soft-romantic tones.  Then a few minutes later they're taken away.  Only the selected get to keep theirs.  The rejects lose the guy, lose the ring, lose the TV gig, and go away crying.

The final moment is when Luke is with the 15 remaining, proclaiming, "now, I'm with the real ones!"   And the rejects weren't real?  Wasn't their pain real?

I felt so sad after the end of the hour.  I couldn't bear to watch another episode of this.  I want to call it "Mortal Love."

What do YOU think?  Write a review below, I'd love to know.

How can I stop myself from eating when I'm not hungry?

It's often hard to realize you may be eating for reasons besides a nutritional need! You may be simply just eating out of habit, boredom, or to distract from some emotion like a need for affection, or if you're worried, upset, or angry.

First, after being conscious of "why," ask God to help. Then, don't deny God's assistance or insult Him by continuing something you'd rather not do. Third, try to become even more consistently aware of your true desire to change, knowing full well that there's a direct cause and effect relationship between overeating and obesity.

I just want to take a moment to say that I care about you.  Sure, it's true, I may not know you directly, or even by name.  I care about you, though, dear reader.

That's why I write this daily message.

I know the pain of being trapped inside a fat or overweight body.  I was once 400 pounds at my highest weight.

I understand the suffering of doing everything I could think of, to little or no avail.

I've known ridicule and bullying.  I have often faced not fitting my clothes, and not fitting in with people.

Yes, I've been way down and hopeless.  I've been at the bitter end of possibilities.

All that helped was knowing someone cared, and knowing that my Creator cared.

I want you to know that I care, too.  I'm here for you.  I write these daily messages in hopes of reassuring and comforting you.  I think of new ideas and do my best to share with you what worked for me and my clients and other readers.

So don't give up.  Know that if you're at the end of your rope, at least I'm there to lend you a hand.  Know, above all, that God is there, too, always ready and all powerful, just for the asking.

If you are someone in need, or someone who want to help others, please post below -- tell each other that we're not alone in this struggle.

I have some ideas for those of you who say they have tried everything to lose weight and get healthier.  Here are two:First, check with your doctor to make sure you're totally OK, and don't have some underlying health condition...

I've picked Anna's comment to feature this week.  If only there were more people like her, who realize that there's a lot of personal work necessary along with weight-loss surgery.  I also wish there were more people who have enjoyed...

I hear this frequently: a loved one (child, relative, friend) has an obesity problem, and they want to help.  Here's what I suggest in such difficult situations.-- Realize that you have no direct control over them.-- Pick the best moment...

I saw an ABC news piece on how Safeway, the supermarket chain, is encouraging employees to eat more healthy food, exercise and watch their weight.  They save them money on insurance by reducing the amount contributed by employees to pay...

Let me ask you: are your overeating habits and pleasure more important than your life?It really comes down to that life or death question.Is the brownie ice-cream sundae dessert, and regular daily desserts worth a heart attack or stroke because...

Weight Loss Pill: a Magic Bullet?   There's a new pill announced, called Contrave, that claims to help obese patients over the difficulties of losing weight.   A combination of two older drugs, Wellbutrin, an anti-depressant, and Naltrexone, used...

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What's your family genetic history? We all have good genes, and not-so-good genes. It's best to be informed and aware, so that you can make choices to have the best, longest life possible. Knowing your genetic tendencies allows you to...

Taking good care of yourself can give you some really good feelings. When you eat well and move, you plug yourself into life. That means the joy of learning, experiencing new things, getting enough rest, playing, sharing with friends and...

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A prominent digestive system surgeon I know recently confided in me, "we hate doing gastric bypass surgeries, but our hospital makes us do them because they're a profit center."  I asked him why his surgical team hated them.  His explanation...

Are you extremely concerned with your eating - perhaps too much?  If you starve yourself, or follow extremely limited calorie consumption, or binge and then make yourself vomit, or compulsively overeat, it's time to get help.Eating disorders are very real,...

This comment brought tears to my eyes; tears of love for God, and appreciation for all that I have.I don't know who wrote it, but thank you so much.  It's eloquent."I watched as Stevie Wonder sang that hauntingly beautiful song,...

At night, when you're struggling to not binge, go outside and look up at the stars. Gaze for a long time. Think about how far away they are. So big, so vast and expansive is our cosmos. How beautiful.  Think...

The act of eating is a deeply spiritual and sacred experience. When you put food into your body, you are giving yourself life energy. You are taking something that was once living (animals and plants who have given their lives...

This is outrageous, and blows my mind!  A new Burger King 7" burger.  Their new ad campaign which is blatantly sexual (just like many advertisements) is even worse.Beliefnet's Editor-In-Chief, Steven Waldman wrote about it the other day, take a look.In...

A regular reader asks, How do I surrender my weight problems to God? Simple - just ask for help. Try something like this: Say a silent prayer to God, who lives inside you and is a part of you,...

Even though there's been so much coverage of Michael Jackson's tragic and early death, I am still interested in him.  I always loved his music and entertainment, and probably always will, yet there will be nothing more from him now,...

In New York City, we see the amount of calories posted on all menu items in restaurants.  How about 1,440 calories for the Quesidilla Burger at Applebee's?   Or would you like 1,570 calories in the guise of the Fried...

My favorite comment this week is by Pam."I met J5 and spoke with them briefly when Michael was around 11/12. I was impressed with how soft spoken and well mannered they all were. Although I did not care for the...

Have you ever believed that turkey makes you sleepy? Or that if you drop something and pick it up within 5 seconds there are little bacteria gathered?  Or my favorite, going outside when it's cold can give you a cold?There's...

There I was at the vacation hotel breakfast bar with the crowd of morbidly obese Americans.  I was having breakfast with them, embarrassed, doing my best to eat very slowly and having a very small amount of food.It was hard...

I was totally shocked at a hotel breakfast bar last weekend.  More than half the customers were morbidly obese, and having plate-after-plate of food.  One couple who could barely fit into their seats was particularly sad: the man had four...

Coming up soon in the US is our Independence Day, otherwise known as the 4th of July.  I know that there are lots of readers in other countries, who also celebrate Independence Day at various times, for various independences and...

Are you a "Food Lover?" Me too.  But I'm not a big fan of the "Food Lovers Fat Loss System" which I wrote about not too long ago.I'm concerned because the website for it is only about sales and supplements,...