Dr. Norris Chumley: March 2009 Archives

Here's an idea you may enjoy trying. As you take your shower for the day, imagine that you are not only washing your body, but that you are also washing your psyche!

Imagine that the stress from your fears, worries and problems is flowing away, out of your body: down, down, down the drain. The energy and tension that you are holding in your body (shoulders, neck, back, head, legs, arms, stomach) from these concerns can be released into the flowing water. Let the warm, pulsing beat of the stream untie the physical knots. Take deep cleansing breaths as your cares float away. The idea is to release the tension that results from emotional stress, so that you can manage your concerns and problems more effectively... unblocked and empowered, pure and clean.

While you're cleansing body and soul, you may want to say a prayer to God, or your Higher Power: "Thank you for this life.  May my thoughts, actions and deeds be a clear reflection of your Love and Grace."  As you're saying this, allow God's love into your heart and beautiful body, illuminating yourself fresh and new for another day.

Please add your thoughts and feel free to confide your problems in last week's posting, "Confidentially Relived,"  I really appreciate what you wrote.  We are all in this life together, and the Internet is a great way for us to get to know one another.  This week brought a lot of us to begin talking about relationships, whether positive or not, or feeling lonely, or in very difficult situations having to do with finances and health problems.

Do you have similar problems with relationships, finances, and health?  You are not alone.  We all do to varying degrees.

Bree wrote about feeling lonely, "I've been crying most of the morning (honestly for no reason in particular) praying for God to send me someone to talk to."  This was a feeling that many of us shared this past week.  Some of us are in challenging or abusive relationships, divorced, seeking someone but encountering commitment problems, or just lonely and don't know what to do.

Dory Ann offered a solution, "I would encourage people to try to find a church to get involved in, where they can meet other believers and get involved in ministries where they can get the help they need. God doesn't want us to go through things all alone...he wants our 'brothers and sisters' in Christ to be there for us."  I think that's a great idea - pray to God for help, but also take action by putting yourself in places and with people so you can make some connections, like a church or house of worship.  You might also consider recreation classes, or affinity groups, such as a book club or place to volunteer.

If you are in an abusive relationship or marriage, that's another matter: I encourage you to seek assistance from a professional marriage counselor, Twelve-Step program or crisis intervention center (such as at a hospital, or clinic). Bev suggested one,  "Please get to some Alanon meetings (friends & family of alcoholics) and/or minister or professional counselor... Alanon can help provide strategies for protecting (your)self from other hurts and disappointments."  There's no down-side to seeking help, only positive outcomes - ways at making changes for the better that you may not be aware of of don't have the personal strength to do alone right now.

Sometimes, you are in an impossible situation that feels at times like it's hurtful, and other times helpful, such as what an anonymous reader confided in us: Your Name:  "I am in love with an abusive man. He never physically abused me, but calls me names and curses at me for no reason. Last week we had a huge fight, and I finally spoke back to him in an aggressive manner, so now he is no longer speaking to me. I know it is completely irrational but sometimes I wish he would call me and yell at me or insult me."  That sounds like a 'no-win' cycle that will probably get worse, as it's a repeat of what was familiar from the past, even from childhood.  There's hope, though, in counseling and learning what each other really need.  There's hope, too, in your faith - try to find and rekindle that faith between yourself, your partner and God.

Whenever I have problems that seem insurmountable I always start with prayer and meditation.  Anna shared that sentiment, writing, "Sometimes when I feel like giving up, a voice speaks to me and says: Lo, I am with you always, even till the ends of the world."  I know that God is with me always; it's just me who forgot.

Kathy, like many of us, wrote of health challenges, "I am trying to lose weight that has eluded me for many years and it seems to be a battle I cannot win. My children are all grown and I am divorced for many years and I am living on a fixed income dealing with many health issues. I am only 58 years old and I feel as if every day will be my last."  Kathy, you may feel completely discouraged and at the end of your rope, but trust me, there is hope, and you are important  -- it sounds like you're just going through a hard time.  Please seek a minister or counselor now, and be sure to get out of the house on a regular basis - when you are feeling better, perhaps you could help others by listening to them, say, at a hospital or in a program where you can befriend an orphan or troubled child.  This will help you feel better by helping others feel better.

I wish I could answer each person who wrote; I've tried to speak to the main points that you made.  Know one thing for sure, God is with us, and will never let us down.  I am certain that we have problems so that we will seek God's help.  All we need to do is ask, and keep 100% faith, and things will definitely change for the better - in ways that will surprise and spiritually educate us in ways we could never do alone.

Q: I thought that we are supposed to eat when we are hungry and stop when full. Is it is OK to go all day long without eating? What if you don't get a hunger pang all day?

A: Everyone is different; each of us has our unique needs and individual preferences. I think it is wonderful that you have the great ability to only eat when you are hungry and stop when you are full. Many, many of us would love to have that power! If only we knew when we were hungry! If only we could control ourselves enough to stop! That would indeed be divine, to possess knowledge and power.

It is reassuring to me to hear from someone who says they are not constantly hungry. You're not the first, however. A few clients of mine in workshops have told me they just aren't hungry in the day, but eat one big meal in the evening and that's it. Yet, those are people who have weight problems, and have come to one of my workshops or done private coaching with me.  So something is not right, and a change needs to be made. I would need to know a whole lot more about you and your activities--what, when, and how much you eat, to give you definite answers. But it's no accident the majority of experts in healthy living and weight management recommend eating small portions multiple times a day as the best way to keep your body in top working condition and to avoid overeating.

Let me make a few more educated guesses about your situation. I'll come right out and assume that since you're writing me, you are overweight, and probably eat too much when you do eat that one meal, in relation to the energy (calories) you utilize. I also suspect you may not be doing much physically during the day (or in the evening, either), which is one reason you don't need much fuel. Here's a thought to consider: why not have a good breakfast and then enjoy some vigorous physical fun during mid-morning or early afternoon? Take a "dance for health" class or play tennis or get into a yoga workshop. Try this two or three times a week to start. Burn some fat, and get connected with others. Make yourself a little hungry during the day and feed your body, soul, and spirit. Of course, use the Joy of Weight Loss eating plan to be sure you're getting good nutrition in good quantity, and not overeating when you do eat. By all means, though, stop when you're full, and eat when you're hungry. Those are marvelous blessings; no need to abandon them! Now, though, it might help to be a little more active and get a little hungrier during the day.

You need to eat less than you were eating in order to lose weight. But don't diet! The idea is to eat moderately, from all five food groups (including a small amount of fats and sugars). Eat three small meals a day, and a snack of fruits and vegetables. Or eat six very small meals a day.

Whichever you like is fine - just don't eat too much! It's really important to enjoy the food while you're eating. Slow down and chew completely: 20 chews per bite is good! Taste the food, think about what you're eating, and enjoy the texture and aroma, and sense the quality and nourishment you're receiving. In addition to the flavor, be conscious of how nutritional the food is - and which vitamins and minerals it is giving you. How does it help and nourish you body and mind?

Think about where the food came from: was it grown nearby, or in a distant land? How was it cultivated? Is it fresh or preserved?

How do you simplify your life?  Yes, it's become a cliché, but it's really a good thing to do, especially in these days of complexity, materialism and debt.  Join the online conversation and post, please, about how you are taking...

What does having a "satisfied life" mean to you?  Join the discussion and tell us.Given that the spirit and substance of this daily column is a "satisfied life,"  my editor, Holly, suggested it would be a great idea to start...

Oh my, yesterday I just did not want to go to the 4th of a 6-week yoga intensive class.  I'd had a big lunch with a business client, and truthfully, a couple of glasses of wine.  I felt too full. ...

Again this week, you all have really been terrifically interested and involved, posting some excellent comments.  I appreciate you taking the time to share your thoughts.  Here is one from Chris, who discovered that what she thought was a little...

Here's a question from a regular reader, Can I safely lose weight fast? A:  No, you cannot lose weight quickly and maintain your health. 2-3 pounds per week is the most anyone should lose, according to most doctors and researchers....

It's vitally important to drink enough water throughout the day, to insure your health and weight management. Drink at least three large (12 oz.) glasses a day, and preferably six. This can be in the form of tap water, bottled...

Very interesting article by Tara Parker-Pope in the New York Times about home cooking and how the person who is the cook at home determines the nutrition in meals, take a look here.  Lots more people are cooking at home...

I highly recommend that you confide in someone today.  Telling someone your problems can really help you feel relief, and also get a fresh perspective.  Please tell us your problems, anonymously if you like, by posting below.  We are in...

Forgive me, but I'm just so happy that a childhood favorite of mine is coming back into popularity.  The whoopie pie, a chocolate (or pumpkin!) set of soft cookies with frosting in the center, purportedly from Pennsylvania, the Amish, and/or...

Just a short thought for your day:  When you put your faith in God, you let go of your problems.  They're not all up to you anymore.  The act of faith of putting your problems into God's hands is itself,...

Did you know that by making one small change over time, there can be big results?  You can apply this rule to weight loss.  I know, I do it all the time.  I've suggested this to many of my clients,...

This week is absolutely amazing in terms of comments!  We've set a record!  Never before have we had more comments on a subject.  They are all truly interesting and amazing - and I cannot pick just one to feature today. ...

What blessings are there in your life?  What's really going well and right that you are thankful for?  Please tell us below by posting a comment.  I have found that counting my blessings and sharing them with others really helps...

You know there sometimes comes a time when you need to stop planning, thinking about, and worrying about what needs to be done.  There comes a time when you just have to start.Johann Wolfgang von Goethe said, "Whatever you can...

Today let's do a Question and Answer, which I like to do from time-to-time.  If you have a question for me post it in a comment. Occasionally I will answer general questions as best I can, especially ones that most...

It's an old adage, but it's true. Time heals all. There's no problem that won't get better with passing time, and some care and attention. Give your problems time, especially when it comes to losing weight. You did not develop...

I've been fasting, and thinking about fasting for many years.  I have been writing about it, and there are lots of great comments, take a look here. Seems a lot of us are very interested in fasting.For almost a decade...

I can't help feeling and thinking that I am on the verge, like most of us these days.  On the verge, or edge, of a lot, good or bad.  It's an uncomfortable and tenuous position to be in, like "on...

What do you believe when it comes to God?  Do you belong to or attend a church, synagogue or temple -- if so, which one?  Please post a comment below right now and tell us.  Let's do our own little...

This has been a wonderful week, although difficult in many ways, wonderful here as so many people are in our community, and posting really inspiring, encouraging words.  Two of the most commented upon had to do with troubled times, fear,...

My wife brought home a small jasmine tree last year.  The whole family loved its beautiful green leaves and heavenly fragrances.  It spent springtime happy as can be on our kitchen windowsill.  Then in the summer it resided outdoors, thriving...

Even though you may be struggling with life problems as all of us are, please remember that all is not lost, nothing is impossible, and hope lives.  Why?  There is hope because we believe in and love God.You may have...

Now that money is tight, many people are spending less money on everything, including food.  Eating out in restaurants, and buying take-out food is no longer affordable for many of us.  At the same time we're working harder and time...

Every morning I begin my day with some coffee and the news.  I've done this for decades.  It is my morning wake-up routine, and I am used to it. What's really news is that I am starting to see that...

This past week has been a very active one on this website, and I for one am impressed and inspired.  There have been quite a few comments posted, especially in response to my articles on Scales, Fasting, and the major...