Recently in Happiness Category

A wake up call, that's what suffering offers us, according to the poet and writer, Scott Cairns.  Suffering is not about the pain and hardship, per se - we need to look past suffering to what is beyond.  "The End of Suffering: Finding Purpose in Pain" is a highly insightful and deeply spiritual guide that I found very moving and helpful. I heartily recommend it to you.

Using illustrations and examples of his life, the events of September 11th, and quotes and aphorisms from the Bible and such luminaries as Simon Weil, Emily Dickenson, Saint Isaac of Syria, W.H. Auden, Saint Simeon the New Theologian and a carefully-selected array of others, Cairns reminds us that pain and suffering grab our attention: sometimes gently, often intensely.  Through suffering, God shows us what needs to be attended to.  He writes,

Under most circumstances, then, the occasions of our suffering are capable of revealing what our habitual illusions often obscure, keeping us from knowing. Our afflictions drag us--more or less kicking--into a fresh and vivid awareness that we are not in control of our circumstances, that we are not quite whole, that our days are salted with affliction.

What do we do with suffering and affliction?  Endure it? Let go of it?  Give it to God?  Cairns suggests the first step is to set ourselves aside; let the ego be suspended for a moment, allowing grace to enter and inform.  Ultimately, though, what we need to learn is how to live, but most importantly, how to die.  Cairns encourages us to learn and live gently, almost effortlessly towards the inevitable, using our afflictions as tools.

...we must come to recognize our suffering as a means, a circumstance of our common journey that can offer us a clearer view of the task at hand. Along that journey, our afflictions and our suffering may also provide to us a glimpse of what actual virtue might require.

Virtue?  In the sense of goodness, chastity, worth, or is it to make the most of something bad or unmanageable that is inevitable, employing logic and reason as Plato taught us?  God only knows.

Cairns is a Christian, an Orthodox Christian to be precise, who has written and taught on the many frontiers and salvations available with Christ.  He has had the occasion, several times, to visit the Holy Mountain, Mount Athos in Greece, where monks have lived for over a thousand years.  Taking time in total wilderness and seclusion, Cairns has personally lived a life of ceaseless prayer and contemplation, yet returning to the challenging world of family, job, and responsibility.  On his last visit there, he reflects,

I realized--experienced, even--that the body of Christ is a good deal more than a figure of speech; it is an appalling truth and mystery, uniting us beyond our knowing with one another, and uniting us with an ever-greater mystery, the perichóresis--the circling dance--of the Holy Trinity Who is our One God.

I do not expect to comprehend--much less ever to explain--the particular mystery of, as I come to speak of it, One Holy Essence Whose Mystery is expressed in relational, interpersonal terms, but I do hope to share something glimpsed among the struggling monks on their Holy Mountain, something gleaned from their ongoing, written tradition, and something I have labored to acquire as my own.

Looking for an answer to his toil and suffering, Cairns looks to God, in the tangible humanity of Christ.  He toils to be like Christ, an adventurous, endless, joyous yet arduous pursuit seeking to comprehend and apprehend himself, bathed in the mysterious Image of God.  The point is to be like Christ, to not only follow Him, but to merge into His infinite grace; to be "at one" with Him.

Our familiar English word atonement (which, believe it or not, comes of combining at-one-ment) was coined in the sixteenth century for the express purpose of reinfusing our theologies with a more vivid awareness of how it is that Christ saves us--He joins Himself to us.

Alas, most of us squander our opportunities, Cairns laments.  We do our best, yet pain and suffering are still with us.  We get distracted.  We become perplexed, tired, uncertain, and even hopeless at times.  These are also opportunities.  Perplexity may also be grace.  Weakness becomes a virtue.  These vacillations, Cairns teaches, are the tools of God, they lead us to Him and our pain and suffering become doorways to our healing and ultimate forgiveness and salvation.

A mixture of poetry, anecdote, intelligent research, memoir and meditation, Scott Cairns' "The End of Suffering: Finding Purpose in Pain" is itself a means to an end.  This is a deeply good and beautiful essay; a useful handbook to true love and infinite care through and in God's magnificence.

Order a copy today.  Better yet, give it for the Holy Days coming soon.  Here's a link to it at the Publisher, Paraclete Press.

What if doing something you dread could really be fun and pleasurable?  What would happen if you did not have a lot of fear, anxiety and trepidation?

If you simply don't believe the old mental programming that losing weight, becoming healthier, and making some positive changes in your life is a drag - then it can actually BE fun and pleasurable.  It's just that easy:  CHOOSE TO BELIEVE SOMETHING NEW.

Begin to believe that being healthy is a pleasure, because it honestly is.  It's not about depriving you or causing you pain and suffering.  Eating healthy foods is truthfully really wonderful.

Here's how:  the next time you catch yourself thinking the worst, just turn it around and give it to God (or Higher Power).  Here's a list of possibilities:

I can't do this >> I can do it with God's help.
I'll be too hungry >> I'll feed myself regularly and healthfully.
I cannot have dessert >> I can have a healthy dessert.
I'm tired >> I'll get more energy with healthy habits & give myself rest.
This is torture >> This is an act of self-love and care.
Gyms are hellish >> Gyms are temples of health and happiness.
Goodbye good food >> Hello great, better food.
I don't have time for changes >> I'm making myself a priority.

Let's add to this list together.  Please post a comment about how you're changing your old destructive beliefs into new, active, loving careful beliefs.

And please tell your friends about this daily column - treat them to some love and thoughtfulness!

Please share this blog with other blogs and websites.   Beliefnet.com/drnorris

Thank you!

Today, All Saint's Day, I'm thankful for the wind, today. I love how it blows life into everything - especially me! I love how the wind moves the clouds, and the leaves on the trees, and how the birds ride on it. Invisible, yet there, giving life and moving life. Just like God. I think of the Hebrew word for Spirit - Ruach - which means wind. I think of the Hindu idea of Prana, the breath of life that courses through our bodies and minds. The Christian concept of Pneuma, of air, of Spirit, which Jesus gave up when he died on the cross--it is the air, the wind that breathes life. It is the air that goes out of us when it's time to leave this life.

We know Halloween comes every year on October 31, and it's Hallowe'en - short for All Hallow's Eve.  Halloween is actually an old Pagan feast, a Celtic New Year called Samhain, or "summer's end."  What is it all about, other than Halloween costumes, candy, treats or tricks?

Halloween is a celebration of the spirits of the dead coming to visit the living.  It's like inviting all your ancestors over for a party, in celebration of their lives, and the lives they gave to us.

These days, it's not really tied to any religion.  Rather, it's a huge commercialized event, with gigantic sales second only to Christmas.  Interesting culturally, as so many people are really into hanging decorations of skeletons, jack-o-lanterns, and ghosts, and spend lots of time and money on costumes and parties.

Some people think that having any celebration of Halloween is anti-biblical, or anti-Christian in that it's feasting around dark, dead, hellish and ghoulish symbols.  I think just the opposite:  it's about renewal of faith and celebration of the living, especially with All Saints Day following.

Further, I think that honoring the "dark" shadow-side of ourselves is realistic and actually healthy.  Accepting that we're not perfect; that we make mistakes and mess up, and sin, is part of being able to resurrect and move on with living, doing the best we can.  One of my favorite psychologists, Carl Jung wrote extensively on embracing our shadow; the dark part of our being.  If we repress it, ignore or fake our shadow existence, we are inauthentic. Not being wholly ourselves can lead to illness, he taught.  His theories have been expanded upon and used now for many years, with great affect.

So be a little dark and scary.  Let that wild, dark, bad self have its day.  Just don't be too bad, and don't forget to thank God for your life.  Happy Halloween!

What dark, forgotten, scary side of YOU are you allowing to live this Halloween?  Please comment.

Join me on Twitter, too, please!  twitter.com/drnorris

A lot of people believe in affirming. I believe in using whatever works to lose weight and get healthy. Have you ever tried verbally affirming? Check it out.

Try saying one of these lines to yourself: "I am God's creation, and I am good." or "I will eat healthy and be a little active today, by the grace of God." Or "I love God, and God loves me, too." How did that feel? Did you believe it? Now, the key is to do it!

Notice that I started today's message by saying the word "believe." That's what it takes to make affirmations real, total belief. If you are affirming your commitment to do something you know is just never going to be true, it will not work. Also notice, please, that I suggested affirmations with God in them.

PLEASE SHARE THIS BLOG WITH ALL YOUR FRIENDS!

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Not long ago I wrote about how to "Lose Weight with God."  It's my favorite topic! God, that is, not just weight loss!   Here's the article: click here.Marie wrote an absolutely beautiful comment awhile back,"I have battled weight all my...

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I want to thank you so much for your kind words of condolences about my Father-In-Law's passing.  I feel your love and warmth very much, and my wife does, too.Here's the prayer I wrote for him last week, in case...

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Monica posted an absolutely heart-wrenching comment this week.  This made me cry when I read it.  I felt like all my worries and burdens were practically nothing when I heard all she has lost, and how her love for God...

Tax Day in the U.S.  A tough time, facing up and paying up for the past year.I wrote about money and debt, and "Being on the Verge"  here's that post, click here.Here's what Deborah Price of Beliefnet, says about what...

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A great way to understand what's going on in your life, in your habits and actions, thoughts and needs, is to write about it. Keep a journal or diary. Write what you're thinking and doing. Talk on paper about what...

Losing weight, being healthy, straightening up finances, healing and mending troubled relationships -- all are about making changes.  Living life, being satisfied with what is, and what we have, not always questing for something out-of-reach.  Loving what there is and...

I just love the breath of fresh air that I felt when I read Cheri's comment this week, in response to the column I wrote on "Hope is Grace,"  and I featured it in a "Dr. Norris Chumley Satisfied Life"...

In order to lead a healthy, happy life, focus on positive things. Make a list of at least three details of your life that give you happiness. Go ahead, take five minutes right now to think about what gives you...

I'd love to know if you meditate or practice silence every day.  Please post a comment below, and tell me and our readers about how you're solving stress through silence and meditation.If you are an emotional overeater, or if you...

Cindy put it all in perspective when she wrote, "To me, a satisfied life means enjoying everyday, spreading joy, believing, looking forward and not worrying."That feels like a breath of fresh air for me this morning. Thanks so much Cindy. ...

Please add your thoughts and feel free to confide your problems in last week's posting, "Confidentially Relived,"  I really appreciate what you wrote.  We are all in this life together, and the Internet is a great way for us to...

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How do you simplify your life?  Yes, it's become a cliché, but it's really a good thing to do, especially in these days of complexity, materialism and debt.  Join the online conversation and post, please, about how you are taking...

What does having a "satisfied life" mean to you?  Join the discussion and tell us.Given that the spirit and substance of this daily column is a "satisfied life,"  my editor, Holly, suggested it would be a great idea to start...

Oh my, yesterday I just did not want to go to the 4th of a 6-week yoga intensive class.  I'd had a big lunch with a business client, and truthfully, a couple of glasses of wine.  I felt too full. ...

I highly recommend that you confide in someone today.  Telling someone your problems can really help you feel relief, and also get a fresh perspective.  Please tell us your problems, anonymously if you like, by posting below.  We are in...

Just a short thought for your day:  When you put your faith in God, you let go of your problems.  They're not all up to you anymore.  The act of faith of putting your problems into God's hands is itself,...

This week is absolutely amazing in terms of comments!  We've set a record!  Never before have we had more comments on a subject.  They are all truly interesting and amazing - and I cannot pick just one to feature today. ...

What blessings are there in your life?  What's really going well and right that you are thankful for?  Please tell us below by posting a comment.  I have found that counting my blessings and sharing them with others really helps...

You know there sometimes comes a time when you need to stop planning, thinking about, and worrying about what needs to be done.  There comes a time when you just have to start.Johann Wolfgang von Goethe said, "Whatever you can...

It's an old adage, but it's true. Time heals all. There's no problem that won't get better with passing time, and some care and attention. Give your problems time, especially when it comes to losing weight. You did not develop...

I can't help feeling and thinking that I am on the verge, like most of us these days.  On the verge, or edge, of a lot, good or bad.  It's an uncomfortable and tenuous position to be in, like "on...

What do you believe when it comes to God?  Do you belong to or attend a church, synagogue or temple -- if so, which one?  Please post a comment below right now and tell us.  Let's do our own little...

This has been a wonderful week, although difficult in many ways, wonderful here as so many people are in our community, and posting really inspiring, encouraging words.  Two of the most commented upon had to do with troubled times, fear,...

My wife brought home a small jasmine tree last year.  The whole family loved its beautiful green leaves and heavenly fragrances.  It spent springtime happy as can be on our kitchen windowsill.  Then in the summer it resided outdoors, thriving...

Even though you may be struggling with life problems as all of us are, please remember that all is not lost, nothing is impossible, and hope lives.  Why?  There is hope because we believe in and love God.You may have...

Every morning I begin my day with some coffee and the news.  I've done this for decades.  It is my morning wake-up routine, and I am used to it. What's really news is that I am starting to see that...

This past week has been a very active one on this website, and I for one am impressed and inspired.  There have been quite a few comments posted, especially in response to my articles on Scales, Fasting, and the major...

This morning I was all flustered because I had to pay bills.  Gosh, those expenses are high!  It's an exercise in stretching, moving money from one place to another, shuffling, leaping and moving forward.  Kind of like dancing: you stretch,...

I just got an email from a longtime friend in Indiana, Michael White, who is a very talented singer and composer.  He and another friend made a really moving video at Christmas about having "A Wonderful Life."Please take a look...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6eUZBQ0L_EYThere...

We've now gone through a long period of economic woes, and we are making it through.  Yes times are hard, harder than we've ever known or experienced.  It's true it is not over, but there is hope and we're going...

Sometimes everyone needs a little break. Perhaps you need to take a day off or do something different with your weekend. Recharge yourself; do something invigorating, restorative, or restful. Take an afternoon to go to a history museum and check...

Alas, the meal is done.  I've reached my limit and it is time to stop eating.Pity it is.  A sad moment that I dreaded would come with each bite, but I ignored the inevitable in favor of flavor.Now it is...

The other day was a big birthday for a cherished family member.  I asked what gift he wanted and the reply was "make me a German Chocolate Cake!"  Knowing how delicious they are, and a favorite of mine since I...

So you slipped off your food plan, and had a few ice-cream sundaes, or a bag of chips or cookies. I know you regretted it! Use this episode and learn from it. Study how you felt afterward:Did you feel stuffed,...

Did you make a mistake? No problem. No surprise. Everyone makes mistakes. Admit it. Correct it with God's assistance. Learn from it. Mistake gone. No problem. Problems arise when we cling tight to OUR way, not God's way, or fail...

A tip of the hat to all of you who visited and commented in this blog this last week on several subjects: New Year's Resolutions, being with God, exercise and going to the gym, and Janice and my first online...

I'm finding Janice Taylor and my online blog conversation very, very revealing!  Janice and I have gone in just four little days from hunger for weight loss, brownies, to diets, carbohydrates, to grandmothers and mothers, to hungry, starving people that...

There are really no coincidences in life, God has everything planned, I've been told, and sometimes it seems true, like today.This morning I was reading Janice Taylor's contribution to our online conversation and there was an ad on her blog...

I really loved Caroline's comment, posted a few days ago:"If we look at the needs of others and beyond our problems you can always find someone who has it much worse. A little encouragement goes a long way."So true!I also...

I think you will love this:  Janice Taylor and I are beginning an online, blog conversation.  This is the beginning.  We will talk back and forth between our Beliefnet blogs from time-to-time.  Our conversations will be about specific themes and...

Hello.  This is Day 30 of my 30 Tips to start your New Year.  Of course, it's only a beginning!  You don't need the beginning of a new year to make resolutions to be healthy and happy.  I suggest you...

Do you forget from Who and where everything in life comes from?  It comes from God.  Do you forget the good things you have, and about the good things that you are?  You are very worthy of some recognition, being...

Just as we humans are made up of a lot of different parts, our digestive system is too.  If we don't use every part of ourselves, we short-change ourselves from experiences and opportunities.  Just like in digestion if we don't...

A lot of people are looking at life dramas these days.  President Obama wants "no drama,"  and Mary K. Blige says "No More Dramas" in her song by the same title.Are you in the middle of a drama?  Is life...

I know from working with many weight loss clients, individually and in groups, helping with diet, nutrition, exercise, emotions and spiritual practices - that a lot of overweight and obesity problems are greatly relieved through relationships.  If you're happy and...

I just want to say THANK YOU for those of you who reached out, posted your feelings and needs, and for those who responded.We're a truly remarkable, caring, and loving group.  I'm honored to be a part of this wonderful...

This country was founded on the principle that we are "One Nation, Under God, Indivisible."  To me that means we work together and celebrate each other, our individuality, independence, and interdependence.There's a really cool, new initiative a lot of us...

With economic woes so present in the world over the last year, and several years, there are a lot of us worried about money.As someone who believes that obesity and overweight are symptoms of some deeper underlying problems, financial problems...

Confide your problems and worries to a clergy member or trusted friend.  You've probably heard the adage, "it's not just what you're eating, it's what's eating you."Are you letting the weight of your body become an emotional weight on your...

This little book, "The Soulmate Secret," written by Arielle Ford (January 2009, HarperOne), could bring miracles in your love life, as it did for her and her BIG LOVE soulmate, Brian Hilliard.The ancient Law of Attraction is at play here...

As much as we need food to nurture our bodies and minds, we need emotional and spiritual food for the psyche and soul, too.  It may seem odd, but to lose weight and maintain healthy changes, make sure to nourish...

I just loved this short, simple little comment.  It meant a lot to me.  It's by Patricia L. Mitchum, who wrote on the subject of New Year's Resolutions:"Remember to not let people bother me or discourage me. Feelings should not...

If you do nothing else for a New Year's resolution, call your physician or health care provider and schedule a complete, annual checkup.  Be assured you're OK.Resolutions are in general very hard to keep, but without your health you won't...

I want to encourage you to begin a regular "physical re-creation" schedule.  The hardest part is getting going.  Hopefully, you've had a recent and complete checkup with your medical doctor, before beginning any activity or making changes to your diet...

Lose weight, feel better and enjoy The Dr. Norris Chumley Satisfied Life in this simple stress-free plan.  No dieting, no intense exercises, no New Year's Resolutions, no Sassy Water (!) just Common Sense and good health.Happy New Year!  I'm most...

Making a New Year's Resolution to lose weight, diet, exercise, save money, etc., again? I encourage you to just be sensible and moderate this year, and perhaps not go on a crash New Year's Diet or radical new program.  Simple...

It is deep winter and it has been very cold up north.  There is lots of snow on the ground; ice on the roads and sidewalks make moving treacherous.  The trees are bare.  The birds are searching non-stop for scarce...

I love the comments everyone made this week.  So many great thoughts and experiences on detoxing, fasting, sugar addiction, nighttime eating, Spirit, Reasons for the Season, and on and on.  Wow!  We have such a great community here.  Please return...

We'd probably all love to hear what hopes, joys, challenges and gratitude you are experiencing this Holiday Season.Please comment below, right now, and I'll pull a few together and add my own in an article shortly.Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Good...

I continue to be completely delighted with our community and all the really great comments.  Many thanks!  We are soooo cool and connected!This week, my hat tips to Bobbie, for the comment written in last week's "Comment of the Week." ...

I want to give you my eclectic list of recommendations for great books on religion, spiritual practice, and health. In no particular order, just a short list of books that came out or that I discovered this year, 2008, that...

I just had a little lunch with an old friend.  He reminds me of the way things are in the world right now - we're lucky to have what we have.He said he was worried he was about to lose...

Science finally caught up with what I've suspected for years: sugar is definitely, conclusively addictive, and causes permanent brain changes.  It has the same negative effect on the brain as heroin or cocaine!At the annual American College of Neuropsychopharmacology meeting...

First, I would never be so presumptuous to claim that I know God, or am with God.  In an attempt to honor Him and to remain humble at the same time, I acknowledge God's grace in my life, and I...

How do you experience, or know God?  Or perhaps you don't feel you do.  Please tell us in a comment by posting below.Perhaps you pray out loud, or in silence. May be you know God in church, or at home,...

Announcing my new endeavor.  Each week on Monday I'll pick the COMMENT OF THE WEEK from the previous week.The weekly most insightful, experiential, authentic posting by you, our readers!This is a badge of honor, a place of distinction for helping...

I am really "fed-up" with being only thought of as a "consumer!"Here we are with years of world financial problems that we're trying to solve, years of massive "consumer" spending and over-spending, debt and mortgage crises, foreclosures, people losing jobs...