I was just watching this Diane Sawyer clip (see video embedded below) on ABC News about the 66-year-old British woman, Elizabeth Adeney, now 8 months pregnant and soon to become the UK’s oldest-ever mother. She’s a successful career woman who chose to have in vitro fertilization in the Ukraine after being denied the treatment in Britain due to her age. (Such women are being called ‘fertility tourists,’ according to the article. Apparently, Romanian woman also did it at 66, and a woman in India recently had twins at age 70–and did it to secure a male heir, no less!)
Debate rages over whether Ms. Adeney is ‘doing the right thing’, ‘acting ethically’, being ‘selfish’, etc. Far be it from me to pass judgment over her, or to invade her privacy. Seems like she’s being hounded enough in the press after what must have been a very difficult decision and during what is undoubtedly a stressful time in her life. But I do think her case, and those of others like her, are great opportunities for us to ask ourselves some big questions.
For instance, when is it time to let nature decide our procreation cut-off date for us, and when is it OK to bring in science to help us push the envelope? Who should be a candidate for fertility treatments, and by what criteria do we decide? OK, OK, these aren’t just big questions, these are huge questions, and honestly, a bit beyond my scope. I am no medical ethicist, and I don’t mean to bite off more than I can chew in this friendly little blog. Still, the story really made me wonder about the ethics of responsible motherhood.
My gut instinct speaks first on this topic, telling me geriatric pregnancies like these–the result of in vitro fertilization after menopause–are a bad idea. Why? For me, it’s not so much about the science, or the arguable creepiness of trying to undo what nature has wrought instead of accepting that perhaps our time for motherhood has passed (heck, we fight back against the ravages of time every day, don’t we?). It’s just that, putting myself in that baby’s place, I know I wouldn’t want to lose my mom at such a young age. When Ms. Adeney’s child is 14, Ms. Adeney will be 80, should she live so long. Wow. Yet, one could argue that the child would never have come to be at all, without the love and devotion of a mother determined to bring a son or daughter into the world. And there are no guarantees for any of us, young or old, that we’ll live to see our children’s milestones. Life is just not that predictable. We don’t get to pick our parents, though it seems that, through science, they are growing ever closer to being able to pick us.
As for Ms. Adeney’s motives…? Selfish, unselfish…? I don’t know that one can ever call one’s motives in bearing a child ‘pure’ (though perhaps when it comes to octo-moms, some have motives less pure–and less sane–than others). Since a child is incapable of asking to be born, the parent’s desire for offspring is always a (if not the) deciding factor. Yet with extreme geriatric pregnancies, there are so many more potential complications, physical, emotional and ethical, to consider, which could endanger both mother and child. Truly, the mind boggles at how any woman could ever make such a momentous decision, one way or the other.
But now that it’s made, well…. Best wishes to mother and child.
Watch the Diane Sawyer piece below and let us know what you think on this hot-button issue:
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I am not for limiting the rights of a woman in any way. If someone is 70 and wants to have a child, it is their right to have a child. Yes, I understand that the child might not have their parent when they are growing up but you can also make the same argument for any woman who has health issues. Would you limit a person who had the gene for breast cancer from having children because she might not be around in the next 20 years? Where do you draw the line of limitations based on future life span of the parent? The laws of nature nor the law of man should not limit every woman’s right to have a child at any time.
While I don’t subscribe to limiting rights, I don’t believe that society should subsidize or encourage, through insurance and social security-type payments, any child born through artificial methods. That includes children born to women at 20, 26 or 36, as well as 55 or 66.
I think it’s highly unethical of both the SINGLE woman and the doctor. How dare she/they. I know full well what it’s like to have a much older parent and even with one younger one it is very difficult. She is being entirely unfair to that child. She enrages me, and I feel very sad for the baby. It scares me, too, that this sort of thing is allowed.
Oh, and Irena, two things: it would be one thing to adopt a needy child and give her an opportunity she may not otherwise have had, but to have a baby???? How selfish! And while maybe you are right that the laws of man should not govern a woman’s reproductive rights, certainly the laws of NATURE should.
I totally agree with Saddened. Nature intervenes for a reason. There shouldn’t be a law, but the Fertility clinics should NOT allow anyone that age to even make an attempt at a pregnancy. I am annoyed that a fertility clinic would even allow this to happen. No child should be born to a woman that old. She is selfish and no amount of money will stop that child from their mother at a young age.
Shame on her and shame on the fertility clinic. My heart is with the child.
It is a strange concept to have a 60+ old mother, and maybe unsettling, but I can’t agree with ‘nature intervenes for a reason.’ There is no other species on earth that has so dramatically increased its lifespan as homo sapiens. We have doubled ours expected years to live. Even a few hundred years ago the idea of a 30+ year old mother would have been inconceivable. In another hundred years, the 60+ year old new mother will be a reality. Two hundred year ago, I most likely would have succumbed to multiple childhood infections, and be quite dead. (Thank you science!) If the woman wants a kid that badly, then that baby has a good chance of being loved.
I think it is the idea of her intentionally getting pregnant for her own child that has people upset… but if her “daughter/niece/friend” had cancer but had saved some eggs and she did a suroget pregnancy, people would laud her for her act of selflessness. If someone in her family went through a bad phase i.e. drugs, death, abuse, and left a baby parentless and she adopted the child, people once again would praise her for doing that act. There are thousands, if not millions, of seinors rasing grandchildren, greatgandchildren, and foster kids, and no one raises an eyebrow or shouts outrage that we would impose a child on them. Instead, we are thankful that they are still there, willing, and able to do the task at hand.
Your blog keeps getting better and better! Your older articles are not as good as newer ones you have a lot more creativity and originality now keep it up!
Joan Ball is a business professor at St. John’s University in New York and the author of Flirting with Faith: My Spiritual Journey from Atheism to a Faith-Filled Life.
Everyday Ethics is a place to discuss how we live a good life and finish well in a technology-driven, culturally-diverse, rapidly changing 21st century environment where “good” and “well” are considered by many to be relative concepts.
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posted May 19, 2009 at 4:30 pm
I am not for limiting the rights of a woman in any way. If someone is 70 and wants to have a child, it is their right to have a child. Yes, I understand that the child might not have their parent when they are growing up but you can also make the same argument for any woman who has health issues. Would you limit a person who had the gene for breast cancer from having children because she might not be around in the next 20 years? Where do you draw the line of limitations based on future life span of the parent? The laws of nature nor the law of man should not limit every woman’s right to have a child at any time.
posted May 20, 2009 at 6:58 am
While I don’t subscribe to limiting rights, I don’t believe that society should subsidize or encourage, through insurance and social security-type payments, any child born through artificial methods. That includes children born to women at 20, 26 or 36, as well as 55 or 66.
posted May 20, 2009 at 10:57 am
I think it’s highly unethical of both the SINGLE woman and the doctor. How dare she/they. I know full well what it’s like to have a much older parent and even with one younger one it is very difficult. She is being entirely unfair to that child. She enrages me, and I feel very sad for the baby. It scares me, too, that this sort of thing is allowed.
posted May 20, 2009 at 11:08 am
Oh, and Irena, two things: it would be one thing to adopt a needy child and give her an opportunity she may not otherwise have had, but to have a baby???? How selfish! And while maybe you are right that the laws of man should not govern a woman’s reproductive rights, certainly the laws of NATURE should.
posted May 20, 2009 at 11:59 am
I totally agree with Saddened. Nature intervenes for a reason. There shouldn’t be a law, but the Fertility clinics should NOT allow anyone that age to even make an attempt at a pregnancy. I am annoyed that a fertility clinic would even allow this to happen. No child should be born to a woman that old. She is selfish and no amount of money will stop that child from their mother at a young age.
Shame on her and shame on the fertility clinic. My heart is with the child.
posted May 21, 2009 at 11:07 am
It is a strange concept to have a 60+ old mother, and maybe unsettling, but I can’t agree with ‘nature intervenes for a reason.’ There is no other species on earth that has so dramatically increased its lifespan as homo sapiens. We have doubled ours expected years to live. Even a few hundred years ago the idea of a 30+ year old mother would have been inconceivable. In another hundred years, the 60+ year old new mother will be a reality. Two hundred year ago, I most likely would have succumbed to multiple childhood infections, and be quite dead. (Thank you science!) If the woman wants a kid that badly, then that baby has a good chance of being loved.
posted May 27, 2009 at 8:16 pm
If God wanted women to have babies in middle age then he wouldn’t have created menopause.
posted August 18, 2009 at 12:25 pm
I think it is the idea of her intentionally getting pregnant for her own child that has people upset… but if her “daughter/niece/friend” had cancer but had saved some eggs and she did a suroget pregnancy, people would laud her for her act of selflessness. If someone in her family went through a bad phase i.e. drugs, death, abuse, and left a baby parentless and she adopted the child, people once again would praise her for doing that act. There are thousands, if not millions, of seinors rasing grandchildren, greatgandchildren, and foster kids, and no one raises an eyebrow or shouts outrage that we would impose a child on them. Instead, we are thankful that they are still there, willing, and able to do the task at hand.
posted February 3, 2010 at 5:21 am
Your blog keeps getting better and better! Your older articles are not as good as newer ones you have a lot more creativity and originality now keep it up!
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