When Does Bad Etiquette Become Immorality? On the Subway, of Course.
Friday June 5, 2009
Categories: By Hillary Fields, Ethics Morality, Human Ethics, Moral Ethics, Personal Ethics, Practical Ethics, Social Ethics
I'm pleased to announce that Part II of our Underground Ethics "Subway Series" comes to you from our very first guest blogger: Beliefnet's own Entertainment Editor, Dena Ross. I asked Dena to write a post for us because, well, Dena has...
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This blog is all about ethics. It's also about us--ordinary people facing ordinary situations. It's about asking ourselves the hard questions: What responsibility do we bear in our interactions (and yes, confrontations) with the people we meet? How do we best respond to those around us in a way that leaves us feeling good about ourselves and confident our behavior has done no harm? Have we helped or hurt our fellows in these moments? It's our belief that by asking some big questions (and some little ones too) we can grow as humans. We're glad you're along for the ride!
About the Authors
Hillary FieldsHillary Fields is a New York-based writer, editor and web producer.
» Posts by Hillary Fields
Padmini ManguntaPadmini Mangunta is a writer and editor with a Journalism degree from the University of Missouri-Columbia.
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OMG! Dena, this is hilarious! I totally relate. Yesterday there was a guy on the F train (the D's cousin) who was singing to himself. Now I try very, very hard not to racially profile, but I was convinced he was singing pre-terrorist jingles. I kept staring him the eye with a "come on, you don't want to do this" look. At the next stop an annoyed looking model-esque woman came onto the train and sat next to him. As soon as she heard his singing she looked up and angrily demanded "can you stop, thanks" and put her head back in her hand. He smiled and stopped. Weird. Then a guy entered the train who was talking to himself, cursing and laughing, always a sure sign of crazy. He kept saying "blame john, why don't you go after john? not me." Ah, subway tales..
Love it. I don't normally get grossed out by the thought of germs on the subway (just try not to think of them to be honest), but once a real live version of the cartoon Dilbert stood next to me on the F. We were both standing by the doors, when all of a sudden he spun around and plastered his face and arms to the doors and started drooling. It was 1) the WEIRDEST thing I've ever seen and 2)disgusting!
I'm always too afraid to say anything when people do something annoying or awful (or unlawful--though I hope I'd have the guts to try to stop a crime) on the subway. Yesterday I was smushed up next to a guy playing music SO loudly on his headphones that everyone was glaring at him, even other people with headphones on. I wanted to ask him to turn it down or make some sort of volume-reducing gesture, but I chickened out. What if he yelled at me, or even did me some kind of violence? You never know who's going to freak out on the train. Tempers are always simmering. Guess that's why I prefer to do my ranting on the internet, rather than face to face.
I watched a guy light himself on fire once on the A train. Where does that fall on the etiquette list?
Hillary, the same thing happened to me on the train yesterday. Some Hispanic woman was BLASTING some Spanish dance music on her ipod and I was getting super annoyed, as others must have been. Then I see her get into an argument with another woman who must have said, "Please turn it down." Then the Music-Sharer said, "Shut up. You the only one you complained. You just jealous 'cuz you don't understand the language. If it bothers you, get off at the next stop." If she wasn't so crazy, I would have tried to defend the other woman.
Dena, hmm...for my next installment in the series I might write a post on "When Do You Intervene?" (like, for crimes, just to stand up for yourself, stand up for someone else, just to shame someone else, etc.)
I tried this great program with my kids called Germy Wormy Germ Smart, since the outbreak of H1N1. It helped even my 3 year old understand how germs spread and how to NOT spread germs. It was so much fun, and it was amazing how quickly they learned healthier hygiene habits!
I was just thinking about this earlier today as I got on the subway at 74th St-Jackson Heights. Now the 7 is a very crowded line and I think it is the WORST for the door blocker type. At 74th St today, there were dozens of people waiting to exit and enter at each door. However the first two people on always block the entire doorway. BUT, there is a reason. At 82nd and 90th Sts, there are so many people exiting that if you do not reach the narrow single sets of stairs first, you spend the next two minutes in a human herd worse that the actual subway. I know it's only two minutes but no one wants to be stuck being jostled down the stairs. Part of the problem (and the emergency exit problem) would be solved by having facilities adequate enough to handle the exiting masses.
You may also check out my website for a map of all weekend service changes and every weekend. Subwayweekender.com
Add to the "look-at-me" dude... when there are 5 people spread across a bench that can normally hold 7 people... all of them (women included) sitting with their legs splayed... There's not any one spot big enough for me to squeez into, but I know that I (and probably even one other person) could fit if they would all just close their legs and slide over a little... Let's work together, people!!! Or how about when two overweight friends leave that middle sit empty between them and you wonder whether it's worth squeezing in their in the middle of their bodies and/or conversation?
I was on crutches for a while but still had to get to work, unfortunately, via subway. I had a knee brace on so I couldn't even put that leg/foot down. I cannot even begin to describe how many times I had to ASK for a seat on the subway! I would particularly glare at the people sitting in the handicapped seats, and one time, as the train was about to jolt forward and I would lose my balance (no hands due to crutches), I had to loudly say, "Can someone please let me sit?!" It was unbelievable! Even today on the subway, a girl with leg braces came on and I saw two people see her, and then look down at their laps!!
I recently stumbled upon www.SeatHogs.com a website that takes this sort of thing very seriously. Funny photos, haha.
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