People keep sending me the oddest ethical issues. Like this one, which came by way of a pal living in Prague. She stumbled across a blog post written by a guy who had been invited to--get this--an abortion party. After blogging about his experiences and his reaction, I found myself having my own.
Holy ovaries, Batman... an abortion party?!?
I'm proudly pro-choice, and I must tell you that I've known a few women who've been through having abortions. Some were haunted, some seemed able to put the experience behind them more easily. But I sure as heck don't know anyone who invited dozens of their friends to a) contribute money to pay for it, and b) celebrate the event with hors d'oeuvres and beer.
The blogger, Byard Duncan, describes the party's vibe thusly:
"Walking in, we were bludgeoned with a blast of hot air, followed by the tangy stink of dance floor revelry. Someone had taken a red bed sheet and hung it below a light fixture to resemble a giant womb. Every so often, a dancer's head or arm or dreadlock would brush against one of its smooth folds, creating a rippling effect. "Let's Go Crazy" by Prince was playing."
My gut reaction to this little soiree is twofold. While I don't think one should have to hide in shame for terminating a pregnancy, it doesn't seem anything to celebrate either--certainly not with light fixtures covered in red cloth to look like wombs. I'm half appalled, and totally shocked, even while I want to support a fellow female's right to choose.
I liked Duncan's carefully neutral take on the issue:
"Abortion is, after all, a very tricky topic -- a minefield of opinions where the slightest misstep can elicit unexpected reactions from friends, family, co-workers and strangers."
How true. I don't want to tell any woman how to conduct her business or lead her life. I just have a feeling I wouldn't want to be this gal's friend. Or attend any social events she might throw. Either she has the most macabre sense of humor of all time, she has no sense of boundaries and privacy, or she just really wants to feel everyone's onboard with her decision. Well, I'm not onboard. I think this is perhaps the tackiest, and saddest, party I ever heard of.
In fact, it may be her party, but I'll cry if I want to.
By the way, the gals at Jezebel.com were having their own reaction (click here if you want to read more) complaining about the guy's supposedly dunderheaded attempts to understand a woman's psyche and reproductive concerns. I disagree heartily with their assessment.
Photo by flickr user quinn.anya
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I find it odd that people keeping using the phrases "pro-choice" and "but terminating a life" in the same sentence. Methinks the authors are not being truthful by using such conflicting vocabulary.
Jeff, if by "authors", you mean me as the author of this blog post, I actually wrote "terminating a pregnancy" not a life. Just to be clear.
Little jumpy there, Hillary?
Jeff was referring to a previous commentator:
Your Name
July 9, 2009 5:56 PM
I am pro-choice but this story saddens me. Terminating a life should not be celebrated.
I had noticed the apparent contradiction as well, and wondered if "Your Name" had even realized he/she wrote it.
JP
Quite right, Hillary, you did say terminating a pregnancy. But, even if you had said terminating a life it would not have conflicted with the statement that you are pro-choice. Jeff, I think one--and by one I mean me--can believe it is a woman's right to choose and still believe that an abortion is the termination of a life. And believing it's the termination of a life doesn't mean one is necessarily equating the life of that embryo to the life of an adult, a child, or even a newborn. Furthermore, if we really get into semantics, the term "pro-life" in the opinion of many doesn't mean pro-life at all but anti-choice. Overall, I think it's possible with a topic like this to have wildly varying views and opinions about the details, the important point is that it is a woman's right to choose what happens to her body. TheExpatriate makes a good point, that the party was meant to raise money, but it sounds like abit of morbid celebration was taking place as well. And, in my humble opinion, blaming people who believe in G-d for the "controversy" is in and of itself an unfair judgment that leads to controversy. Some of us believe in G-d and believe in a woman's right to choose and don't judge people for those choices, just like we shouldn't be judged for having a system of belief. It's a woman's right to choose whether or not to have a baby and it's a human being's right to believe in G-d, or Science, or both. It's an awfully complex issue, and one in which I don't think we can't point fingers and say "its your group that causes it to be complex." For a woman, even if law never came into it, it's a difficult choice to make and that is what leads to its complexity. Some religious zealots have given the rest of us a bad name. It's always just a few that make it difficult for the rest. It's like the issues Pad presents in her post about the pastor...
Ha! JP, I guess I was. Good catch. But see Emmabliss's response to the 'contradiction' for some interesting thoughts on the issue.
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