Sorry, folks, I'm in an existential angst mood today, perhaps even an existential crisis mood. I'm feeling like a phony, if only in the sense that my day-to-day existence feels inauthentic. But by inauthentic, what do I actually mean? Well, I've been feeling for a while now that the life I lead doesn't accord terribly well with my values and the discord has been rubbing my spirit raw.
I value nature: I live in the heart of NYC. I value contemplation: I choose to have CNN or MSNBC (or All My Children) droning in my ear all day long to keep me company while I work. I value compassion: I brush past people on the street I see crying or downtrodden, and rarely stop to ask how I can help.
Survival mechanism? Sure. In a city of eight million, a certain amount of armor is only practical. Compassion must be capped off somewhere in the endless stream of the needy. And escapism is both necessary and understandable, no matter where you live. But in the long run, it's killing me by inches.
I see it in the unhealthful comforts I offer myself, like too many sweets or too many hours drifting in front of mindless television, or with my head buried in fluffy beach-reads. I see it in dreams left un-pursued, like the novels that remain unwritten or the hobbies I drop before I even sign up for classes.
So it occurred to me to wonder: Is it unethical to treat this sacred and fragile life I've been given with such callous disregard?
I've been thinking about it more lately, as a number of the ones I love most dearly have developed life-threatening illnesses, and I myself have hit a new demographic with my thirty-fifth birthday. Gray hairs and midlife crises may be nothing new, but to me, they're bringing up big questions, like, if I owe society a certain type of moral behavior, do I not owe myself as much?
I may not be able to pick up and move to la-la land (especially not in the midst of an economic crisis) to fulfill my spiritual needs, but surely something should be done, perhaps on a smaller scale, and perhaps piecemeal. Were I the guardian of someone else's life, I wouldn't treat it the way I am treating my own. I'd feel obliged to make something special of it, treat its body and its spirit with respect, like a gracious host should.
I guess it goes back to that old 'body as a temple' thing. And perhaps if I came from some particular religious tradition, there'd be some specific guidance there about self-care and right living. As a spiritual orphan, I only have my wits and my loved ones to guide me.
For today, I'll just throw the question out there: Do you feel you owe yourself the "golden rule" treatment? Is it only ethical to "do unto yourself as you would do unto others"?
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While I know I'm capable of being somewhat judgmental (and I'm working on being less so), I'm nowhere NEAR as hard on others as I am on MYSELF. I think many of us are like that. We do need to find as much compassion for our own faults and mistakes as we grant to others who have hurt or disappointed us. I think a lot of that stems from things we were told as children---at least I know my attitude comes from that.
Gimme a break. It's bad enough that I never hear words like "sin," "vice," and "virtue" in any context other than diet or exercise, and that fitness seems to be the top item in most people's New Year resolutions. But linking them to the "authenticity" of one's life? Enough already.
I don't quite understand why you have a problem with people having "fitness" as one of their top New Year's resolutions, Marian. If you believe that God gave you this body, why would you NOT want to make it a priority to take care of it? I don't think being overweight and out of shape is necessarily "authentic" either. And remember, Gluttony and Sloth ARE listed as "sins".
I think Marian may be making a much larger point--or at least that's what I derived from it--that is we've put too much emphasis in our society on diet and exercise (mostly for women) and use inappropriate language to shame people for their decisions in this regard. And, while I agree with Terri that there is nothing wrong with thinking of your body as temple and therefore treating it well, I don't quite think that was Marian's point. We--many women but not all--don't treat our bodies as temples so much as we torture them to be skinny. And skinny doesn't always equal healthy. The diet industry, and others that stand to make a fortune on our collective low self-esteem, use pretty heavy-duty language to get us to buy into their myths--sin and vice being two of them. (Virtuous being used to describe those who forbid themselves entirely of the things that give them pleasure.) This may be true when you're talking about really damaging things, but to consider one who indulges in too much chocolate from time to time as a less than virtuous person based on that...Well..That's silly. Everything in moderation! Treating our bodies as temples doesn't have to mean only ONE outcome. If you are naturally skinny, but you eat properly and indulge yourself with treats from time to time, great. As long as you're happy and healthy! But it shouldn't be assumed that an overweight person is gluttonous or slothful. He/she may be very healthy in terms of the food he/she chooses and keeping up a high activity level. He/she may have better blood pressure or cholesterol than the model next door. It's practically society's last insult that isn't taboo. And, ss it really inauthentic to just not worry about every bite you take and whether or not you did 30 minutes of exercise? And is it unethical if you don't? This is, like the post about abortion, a complex issue, and probably one we can only judge from person to person. Believe it or not, some people may be fat AND healthy AND (get this) HAPPY and that may be authentic. This part of the discussion has certainly made me rethink the original post and the points Hillary was making, which had less to do wit what I'm talking about now and more about making in choices in ALL aspects life that make one happy and therefore able to bring others closer to happiness, too. Always put your own oxygen mask on before helping others with theirs.
I agree whole-heartedly with you Emmabliss! But, I want to add that some religious institutions ALSO use guilt and shame to manipulate us into parting with our money. It's ALWAYS authentic to use common sense before jumping into anything.
And just to clarify, I didn't really mean to imply that someone who is simply overweight is slothful or gluttonous. I was actually referring to people who border on being morbidly obese, which is NOT healthy no matter HOW you try to put a "spin" on it. I prefer to see women AND men with a little "meat" on them; they look so much better than someone who is too thin.
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