This mom did. She let her 9-year-old son ride the NYC subway alone, giving him 20 bucks, a map and a Metrocard, along with some words of advice. Why? Because he wanted to.
Lenore Skenazy is a writer and mother of two who believes kids grow up better when they have some breathing room and space to explore. Her book is "Free Range Kids: Giving Our Children the Freedom We Had Without Going Nuts with Worry."
In theory, I LOVE what she did. I absolutely respect the idea of raising independent kids. In fact, Beliefnet's got a whole page of resources on bring up kids with courage and other great attributes to give them a strong moral compass and help them through life. It's called the Family Values Toolkit, and I helped build the splash page and downloadable pdf guides for one of our sponsors, Liberty Mutual, as part of my work as a web producer for Beliefnet. (Sorry for the pander, folks, but I was very proud of the page I built!)
However. I also live in NYC. And I take the subway. As you'll have seen from my prior posts on the subject, my commute is not exactly my favorite part of my day. And my faith in my fellow man is at a lowwww ebb whenever I head underground. I tend to see everyone around me as a perv, a stalker, and a loony. As a teen riding on the train to school, I can't tell you the number of times I had my bum grabbed or saw some guy flashing his privates (or worse). Maybe I'm being a wuss, but I really could have done without those 'learning experiences.' So, stats or no stats, I don't think I'd have done what this mum did.
Would you?
Add to Del.icio.us
Add to Technorati
Add to Digg
Add to Newsvine
Add to Facebook
Add to StumbleUpon
Subscribe
I worry that I worry too much about allowing my son to go out on his own. We live in Chicago, not NYC, but our neighborhood has its share of problems. I think a lot about how I used to walk to school by myself when I was seven and how, although it was suburbia not the city, there must have been times that I was in danger of which I was not fully aware. And yet, I made it to school and back safely, even on the day when that strange man drove up in his red convertible and asked my friend and me whether we wanted a ride. (We ran.) Why should I not give my son the same freedom and self-confidence that my mother allowed me? So, I'm really torn on this one.
Being that my son is only two, the very idea of letting him out of my sight even for a millisecond scares me to death. But having grown up in NYC I remember it being fairly common for kids to hop on the bus or the subway for school. As emmabliss said, there wasn't much of a choice. I agree that listening to your child's desires and respecting them are two of the key ingredients in excellent parenting but to do that you also need to know your child and have confidence in the way you raised them. I love that this mom had a plan and that it ended in 45 mins. If my son were armed with some money for a cab and a cell phone and swore to text me every ten mins for an hour I'd probably let him do it. Sadly, bad things happen to all people all of the time and we can't protect our children forever.
Having grown up in NYC I think this is a really bad idea. NYC is not a safe venue for a 9 y/o to explore alone.
It's fine. I walked to school and back and never had any trouble. If I'd saved from my pocket money sometimes I'd treat myself to a bus halfway there. Paedophile attacks are vanishingly rare. The chance of anything happening to her kid is effectively zero.
Let's not raise a generation of people who get lost because they never developed the skill of finding their way, who never developed the habit of independent thought, who are scared of everyone.
A great site developing valuable discussions. As a dad in Australia I was a resounding *no* from American parents as the US seems to get such bad press. In Oz though we sadly have our share of nutters and worse that would preclude me now letting our kids take a major day trip on public transport alone tho they will be doing local bus transport soon.
Our English friends comment tho that London in areas seems out of control with knife crime etc in public spaces. Sad.
Post a Comment
By submitting these comments, I agree to the beliefnet.com terms of service, rules of conduct and privacy policy (the "agreements"). I understand and agree that any content I post is licensed to beliefnet.com and may be used by beliefnet.com in accordance with the agreements.