Joan Ball is a business professor at St. John’s University in New York and the author of Flirting with Faith: My Spiritual Journey from Atheism to a Faith-Filled Life.
If there were ever an area where the little white lie came into question, it would be online dating. Oh, you’re not 6′ 2″ with abs of steel? Or petite with the body of a goddess? Whoops. And funny how you didn’t mention that wart. Ew.
Do you blame them (or do they blame you) for these teeny-tiny exaggerations? Yes, yes, yes…lying is lying is lying, and of course, unethical. But what’s worse, judgment based on a few stats or a slight fabrication of those stats?
I’m curious – it seems as though it would be an almost irresistible temptation to stretch the truth when online dating. Should one always resist? Or are you merely circumventing ridiculous societal norms on appearance? And this doesn’t only apply to physical appearance – is it so awful to claim, say, a love for the outdoors, when you merely hope to find someone who might introduce you to rock climbing?
My friend once sent me an online profile from shaadi.com, an Indian matrimonial website. It was, by far, the most memorable piece of fiction I’d ever read in my life. How did I know it was fiction? Well, his profile described his hobbies a little something like this:
“I love surfing, mountain biking, skydiving, bungee jumping and mountain climbing….(much further down the profile and lost towards the end) I have never done any of these things, but I would like to some day.”
I’d love to hear your stories, especially if they involve a bit of ahem, exaggeration. Why did you feel the need to lie? Were the untruths ignored once you met in person? Or, on the other side of the coin, were you shocked, horrified or just
plain pissed upon meeting someone who misrepresented himself/herself?
posted August 25, 2009 at 7:48 am
The weight issue is definitely more offensive. You can always say, Honey I changed my mind. But it is not so easy to say Honey I can’t come over because I won’t fit through your door…partnervermittlung basel
posted August 26, 2009 at 11:39 am
I actually just wrote an article about this. Fibbing in your profile can be tempting, but the person you meet is not going to be happy about it. I’ve gone out with guys that were much shorter than their profile suggested, and while that’s not the biggest issue ever, if he’s going to lie about something as petty as that, what else is he going to lie about?
posted September 5, 2009 at 9:02 pm
Why would you lie online if you are serious about meeting someone in person and are really looking for love? There is a small percentage of people who dont take online dating seriously-but the vast majority are very serious and let this small percentage not deter you from your quest to find a date online!
John
Founder
Dating-profile.com
posted September 13, 2009 at 10:27 pm
i think that contest regarding to this online dating is cool. it will help anybody to express and show their talents specially in creating a website, me, as an IT graduate i know how hard to create and be artistic when it comes in creating sites.
posted September 13, 2009 at 10:29 pm
Thanks for the post, that was so very informative, I’ve learned a lot. Keep up the good work. I need more information about it can you do that? Thanks.
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