Joan Ball is a business professor at St. John’s University in New York and the author of Flirting with Faith: My Spiritual Journey from Atheism to a Faith-Filled Life.
Yesterday I almost got in an accident. Worst part was, it was pretty clearly my fault. I was in unfamiliar territory, and I realized at the last second that I needed to be in the left lane, the turning lane, to get where I was going. So I flipped on my blinker and started to slip into the left lane.
And heard HOOOOOOOONNNNNNKKKKKK!
In my haste, I hadn’t properly checked the mirror and had failed to see another driver coming up in that lane. He or she braked in time (barely), sparing us both a long day of filling out insurance forms and tying up traffic. Luckily, we weren’t going fast enough for either of us to have gotten hurt…
But still. I wanted to apologize, and there was no way to do so. I just had to keep driving on to keep the flow of traffic going. It made me wish for a bumper sign that could light up with the words “mea culpa.”
Then I thought, “if we had custom signs on our bumpers that could flash apologies, you know more often than not, they’d be flashing something else… like ‘screw you, buddy’.” And then we’d really be in trouble.
I also thought about how you’re never supposed to cop to blame if you have an accident — or so my father the lawyer always told me. Don’t say anything incriminating. Let the lawyers and insurance companies work it out. I was lucky I didn’t have to — I can comfortably accept responsibility for my near miss because it was a miss. But would I do as much, as freely, if we’d connected in that left-turn lane?
It wasn’t my car (it was my dad’s). And it was his insurance that would have taken the hit. So — while the responsible thing would be, in theory, to stand up and admit when I made a mistake, in practice, it’s his insurance company that might drop him. Even if I paid the difference if they raised his premiums, I can’t stop them from letting him go if that was what they chose to do.
I’m just glad I didn’t have to face this ethical dilemma. What would you have done?
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posted October 13, 2009 at 8:19 pm
Let’s say that instead of driving, you were sailing. You were unfamiliar with the controls of you dad’s sailboat and nearly crashed into another vessel. What would you do? Probably something like this. Accept responsibility for your near-accident, take some more sailing lessons, and ease back into it.
Why should driving be any different? I don’t see in your post that you accepted any responsibility for being a poor driver. Take a defensive-driving course (they have them online) and brush up your driving skills before you get in a real accident. Bonne route!
posted October 14, 2009 at 10:08 pm
Jonathan – that’s ’cause I’m *not* a poor driver. I’m generally, as Dustin Hoffman in Rain Man was wont to say, “an excellent driver.” I was just having an off moment offset against a lifetime of sterling and exemplary navigational control. (ahem)
posted October 16, 2009 at 2:49 pm
Hillary, how do you know you’re an excellent driver?
Did you race professionally before becoming a journalist? Do you have a commercial driver’s license? Have you taken an EVOC class? Have you ever taken a defensive-driving class?
Assuming that you’re an excellent driver just because you’ve never had an accident is like assuming that you’re a Cordon Bleu chef because you’ve never prepared a meal that made you vomit.
posted October 17, 2009 at 10:32 am
Jonathan – I was being a bit tongue in cheek there, perhaps it didn’t translate to the screen. But yes, I’ve taken a defensive driving class. Oh, and btw, I am ALSO an excellent cook. All my friends say so, and I’ve never made any of them vomit. I would love one day to take cordon bleu cooking classes, but not drag-racing classes. Cheers!
posted October 27, 2009 at 8:24 pm
Hi. Would you be willing to report your near miss for the benefit of a grass roots style traffic safety initiative? It’s called Drivers helping Drivers. See more by checking out the web site included here.
Thanks, Jeff