WOW, a lot of comments over there! If you say, ‘no’ then the answer is NO and you dont have to defend it to anyone. I am NOT shocked your doctor acted in such a way. I had to fight hard to get a tubal done after my son was born. Between adoptions and birth he was child #7!! I had a right to say I was done by ANYBODIES standards. Except of course that Catholic hospital. I adopted quite a few kids from women who were in situations where they did not want abortions but could not care for the babies. I am so grateful for their gift, but I would have never pushed any choice upon another person. My children have traveled to many countries, speak two or more languages each, are all in college or will be very soon, and understand that it is their own choice, not their doctors, parents, or even spouses choice! If you say, ‘no’ then the answer is NO and you dont have to defend it to anyone. ~c

Hello,
I’ve always thought that if someone doesn’t want to have children, then they shouldn’t have children. Period. They don’t need to defend themselves or justify their position.
The only time I’m tempted to engage in a conversation about this with someone is when I hear a friend give the argument that because they’ve never been really drawn to children that they shouldn’t have a baby. Sure there are people who walk up to strangers’ babies in grocery stores and say, “goochie goochie goo” and fawn all over them. There are also people who get down on the floor with their neices and nephews or friends’ children at family gatherings and play Chutes and Ladders and legos.
But neither one is the norm. And I don’t think you need to feel and act this way as an indicator of wanting children. I never did any of that stuff. I have two beautiful daughters, and there are no words to describe how much I love them (even though they tire me out and annoy me to no end sometimes). But I never interacted much with other people’s children. The first baby that I ever held was my own.
So, if I had subscribed to that belief that I had to be one of those people that go crazy over other people’s children in order to have my own, then I wouldn’t have my family now. And that would be awful.
So there you go. When I hear some of my friends in their mid-30′s give that reason for not wanting to have babies, I’m tempted to talk to them about it. I don’t – because it’s such a touchy issue. But in my experience, it’s not a good way to judge whether you should be a mom. Lots of us never acted like that.

If anything, women are pressured by the economy into NOT being mothers, or into having fewer children than they would wish.

I wonder how she feels now, 2+ years later.