Joan Ball is a business professor at St. John’s University in New York and the author of Flirting with Faith: My Spiritual Journey from Atheism to a Faith-Filled Life.
So, I’m of the ethos that if you don’t like your meal, you send it back. It’s how I was raised, and I don’t have any sense of shame about that. When you pay for something, you should get your money’s worth.
HOWEVER, I also believe there’s a polite way to do it, and a wrong way.
Sometimes I don’t manage to do it the polite way.
Today I accepted delivery of a piece of furniture, and, guess what? It arrived badly scratched. I’m afraid I freaked out a little bit. I was standing out in the freezing cold, trying to communicate with the truck driver, who did not speak my language very well, that I was unhappy and that the damage was unacceptable. Turned out, the people I needed to complain to weren’t the delivery guys but the original shippers. But before I figured that out, I was a bit curt with the guys. Not mean, not nasty, but not exactly cordial either. After all, they had wanted to drop the damn thing off a block away and make me drag it home from the curb, which wasn’t exactly what I signed up for. Had I not demanded they do the right thing, they would have left me completely in the lurch. Still, I didn’t like getting all up in their grilles, so to speak.
I’d prefer to be a master of decorum and serenity all the time. I want to always treat people with kindness and understanding. But there are times when, in the heat of a moment, I don’t find that easy. I ended up emailing a very strongly worded, yet reasonable letter to the shipper, who promised to rectify matters. Let’s hope he does, because I really hate confrontation, but I’m not afraid to stand up for myself either.
How about you? Are you afraid to make a stink, or are you comfortable with confrontation?
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posted February 11, 2010 at 6:52 am
As a child of God complaining isn’t what He would nwant us to do…rather speak encouraging words over the situation…speak what you would have it be…pray and trust in the Lord to bring it about…in His goood time…speak life and victory into every situation, every obstacle ….
posted February 22, 2010 at 4:58 pm
This is not complaining, but actually receiving what you requested and are willing to pay for. I believe that even God allows us to represent ourselves and even Jesus became angry with immoral acts that’s people do to each other and against God as well.
posted April 20, 2010 at 12:59 pm
I agree
posted May 26, 2010 at 11:34 am
I smiled when I read this. It is so me! Right down to the email to the shipper rather than picking up the phone to discuss it. I too deplore confrontation and despise myself if I lose my cool, but how do personalities such as ours avoid the inner stress caused by not speaking our minds.
I would have handled the problem in exactly the same way that you did, and I believe that approach works most of the time and is far better than blowing up like a grenade when things aren’t going quite as planned. We can still get things off our chests in an email without being rude or aggressive. There’s a very old saying that you can catch more flies with sugar than vinegar!
posted January 2, 2012 at 11:00 am
The keys: Complain to the person who can rectify the matter. Focus on the result. Refrain from “making a stink”: that only mkaes your audience want to shut the door on you.