Recently in Ethics Responsibility Category

"I bet this is a learning incident." 

I wish.

Last weekend I returned from a lovely, restful weekend trip to San Francisco. As I boarded the red-eye back to New York, I found myself hoping that just this once, I would have the ideal flying neighbor--the non-existent one.

What I got instead was a middle-aged man, sniffling, sneezing, coughing his way through the 5-hour trip. I am the opposite of a hypochondriac--I spend most of my time denying disease and infection exist. But this really threw me.

Come on, man! Ever heard of swine flu? And by the way, you just sneezed all over me...sorry I just happen to be sitting so close. Also, don't worry if I can't hear my movie because your hacking cough is SO LOUD; I'll just jack up the volume.

As I covertly gave him the evil eye (covert only because he was so wrapped up in his illness it would have taken a punch to the face to get his attention), I also envisioned the movie "Outbreak" in my head. I composed angry letters to this man asking him how in @!$$#@ he had justified getting on the plane that night when obviously he was harboring infection. He might as well be a terrorist! (I kid).

Should he have gotten off the plane? Cancelled his trip? He was most likely much like me; returning from a lovely weekend vacation and desperate to get back home. There's nothing you want more than your own bed when you're sick.

And canceling your trip? That costs money! At least it does if the airline gods don't take kindly to you and don't cut you a break.

All in all, despite my ire, I have to sympathize with the man's plight. "What!! Sympathize?" you ask. "You've spent the last page getting angry at him for spreading contagion!"

Weeelll...yes. But I also left out a tiny detail. I was a little sick myself.

Thanks again are due to our Beliefnet Entertainment Editor for this one. She emailed me the other day with the following ethical dilemma. While shopping with her fiance, she saw a well-to-do woman with two preteen daughters 'forget' to pay for a bunch of magazines at the bottom of their shopping cart. Says Dena:

As we observed the mom unloading her cart, the girls went to start packing things up. As she emptied everything out, we noticed that there were a bunch of magazines (at least 4) on the little "shelf" at the bottom of the cart--the place that you'd typically would put some bottled water or paper towels. Now, I'm sure some people legitimatly forget they have an item in this semi-hidden location, but as the woman was getting the last few items from her cart, she was literally looking down through her cart--so these mags were pretty hard to miss.

___[fiance's name redacted] and I look at each other, waiting to see if the mom was going to grab the magazines at the last minute. But she didn't. ___ and I were appalled and he whispered to me, "I'm going to say something." "Good" I said. But then at the last minute, he stayed silent. And so did I. 

I'm usually not one to keep my mouth shut. And the entire rest of the weekend I was pissed at myself for not doing the right thing and saying something. Worse case scenario she would have said (whether sincerely or not), "Oops, forgot about those," or possibly given me a dirty look or something. 

___ said he didn't say anything because he doesn't feel it's his responsibility to stop crimes from happening in the store. He's not getting paid for it---someone else is--and presumably, that person is not doing his/her job.

That excuse didn't cut it for me. I think we have a personal responsibility in situations like this--and I'm just really ashamed I didn't open my mouth. 

President Obama spoke at the NAACP last night, thanking them for the work the organization has done that broke barriers and helped get him elected. He also urged African Americans to take responsibility for their own future success, saying, "Your destiny is in your hands, and don't you forget that... no excuses." (Watch video here.)

Now, teaching the next generation responsibility is something we take seriously at Beliefnet, but I wondered if some might have found his remarks, like Bill Cosby's some year's back, a bit patronizing.

Does the president have an ethical obligation to press the African American community to succeed, or should politicians skip the morality lectures? (We've seen what some, like Sanford, Ensign and Craig do for the cause of family values, after all...)

Is it Obama's duty to share a positive example by exhortation, or is it an imposition? I think the former, particularly since in this case he was the organization's invited speaker, and, as with a college commencement, he was expected to give inspiring - even pointed - remarks.

What's your take?

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