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In my family, love and money sometimes get confused, and I’m sure I’m not alone there. My folks have been known to show their affection and concern, though not exclusively, in the form of cold, hard cash.
I’m not the kind of gal who likes a whole lot of family togetherness. I live within city blocks of my whole family, so I get plenty – some would say too much – of it with my own side of the clan. And I’ve just never been comfy being on my P’s and Q’s with other people’s relatives. The idea of spending 7 days cooped up, smiling politely and nodding as we negotiate our way through decisions both great and small (who’ll grab up the check on dinners out, where we should souvenir shop), makes me break out in a sweat, and we haven’t even hit the beach yet. From the moment the idea of this family trip came up, I experienced panic, resentment, anger, then great steaming heaps of guilt and shame.
Like most couples, my husband and I have limited funds. Deciding how to spend them can be a source of tension, to put it delicately. Last night, my husband and I had one of our “delicate” moments. My husband wanted to take a class at the local college. I wanted to repaint the apartment. To do either one would put off any number of other projects/pleasures we’d had in mind.
I’d like to pose a question for all the parents out there — and for all those who lived through tough family situations as they were growing up. Is it OK for parents to fight in front of their kids? [...]
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Joan Ball is a business professor at St. John’s University in New York and the author of Flirting with Faith: My Spiritual Journey from Atheism to a Faith-Filled Life.
Everyday Ethics is a place to discuss how we live a good life and finish well in a technology-driven, culturally-diverse, rapidly changing 21st century environment where “good” and “well” are considered by many to be relative concepts.
