Everyday Ethics

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Wednesday November 18, 2009

On Black Friday, Would You Push Other Holiday Shoppers Out Of The Way?

We all know what's just around the bend: Black Friday! Even as I write out my shopping list of Thanksgiving cooking ingredients, I know that the day after, stuffed with turkey, I'll be eyeballing the 2009 Black Friday sales. And this year, with the recession hitting so hard, there are sure to be incredible deals for those who can lift their somnolent selves off the couch (even to get to the computer and shop online) and engage in some hardcore retail therapy.

But in recent years, the frenzy for bargains has led to some ugly incidents, such as the Wal-Mart employee who was trampled to death last November.

So my "What-if Wednesday" question for you bargain-hunting shoppers is: How far would you go to get the best deals?


Have any horror stories or funny tales of Black Friday sales past? Tell us in the comments field below. 

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Wednesday November 11, 2009

I Support Same-Sex Marriage. Why Don't You?

I think the Facebook group called "Against gay marriage? Then shut the f*ck up and don't get one" says it best. Here in NY, Governor Paterson (of whom I am not, generally speaking, a fan) has put a resolution calling for a vote on a bill allowing same-sex marriage on the state's agenda. That makes me just a little bit more likely to vote for him.

I cannot imagine another ethical position to take other than supporting our fellow citizens' right to marry. To criminalize love, to deny a portion of our society equal rights under the law, simply because of your fears, prejudices, or religious views, is despicable to me.

Wednesday November 4, 2009

How To Get Out Of Jury Duty (Ethically)

How is it that two days of jury duty can feel like two months in purgatory? Can sitting in a room with nothing to do but read a good book, away from the demands of one's job, the ringing of phones, the beeping of incoming emails... really be so horrifyingly, mind-scrapingly agonizing?

I'm here to say, it can be. All you have to do is tell a person they've got to replace their already meager salary with a ridiculous $40/day stipend, tell them they can't connect to the internet to check in with work, can't use their mobile phone to talk with their loved ones, threaten them with the possibility of 18 months in Grand Jury hell, and then leave them stewing for EIGHT HOURS at a stretch in a room full of strangers, with nowhere to stretch out, no way to heat up their own brown-bag lunch, and no information forthcoming about further service until the very end of the day. Oh, and travel costs are to be reimbursed at a rate of .55 cents a mile. Whose mass transit costs fifty-five cents? Or even twice that?

In today's uncertain economy, the already stressful and tedious obligation to serve as an essential part of the American judicial system can become overwhelmingly anxiety-producing - at least for those of us whose jobs don't pay us for days lost. Yet we can't do without jurors, or our whole legal system would collapse. And the government's highly unlikely to start paying jurors a wage comparable to their current salaries. So what's to be done? 

Well, for me, I try to game the system - as ethically as I can.

Tuesday October 27, 2009

Gang Rape after Homecoming: Bystanders Snap Photos

"I bet this is a learning incident." 

This is a quote from West Contra Costa Unified School District spokesman Marin Trujillo, in regards to the gang rape that occurred on school grounds after a homecoming dance. I actually felt chilled as I read this account -- gang rape of anyone, let alone a teenage girl after her homecoming dance is beyond words. So what words do we use to describe the gang rape of a girl with multiple bystanders watching, snapping photos and not lifting a finger (let alone a cell phone) to help? 

We've discussed getting "involved" on this blog quite a bit. I think most of us are similar in the sense that we want to make the right choices in life, both for our own sake as well as for others, but often are unsure when it's the right time to step in if it doesn't directly involve us. I couldn't even bring myself to interject my opinion in a verbal scuffle between a passenger and airport shuttle driver

Sunday October 25, 2009

Daylight Savings Time 2009: Why Can't We Keep It All Year Round?

Sundial.jpgFirst off, no, it's not today that you have to change your clocks. This year, we "Fall Back" at 2 AM on Sunday, November 1st. Secondly, I'd like to take issue with a whole society adjusting its schedule twice a year. I've always found it a huge inconvenience and a misery each time we find ourselves with darkness encroaching that much earlier in the evening, just when it's getting colder and more bitter outside anyway. I say, if we're going to have it, why not have it all year round?

Here's a little history on Daylight Savings Time. It was originally conceived of by Benjamin Franklin, but not put into practice here in the U.S. until 1916. Basically, it was implemented to "make best use of daylight." Some studies say that it saves a significant amount of energy. Most people, chicken farmers notwithstanding, seem to like it. So my question is, why do we only do it in the summer?

Also, I'd like to point out that studies have shown that pedestrian fatalities due to traffic accidents increase significantly every fall around the time DST stops being in effect. Trick-or-treaters are often mowed down by cars at dusk because of drivers who have not yet become accustomed to navigating the earlier darkness, which is why the clock change has been moved back one week recently, to avoid the holiday. 

So how about moving the reversion to Standard Time back to, say... never?

I take issue with my very biological clock being monkeyed with so casually.

Saturday October 24, 2009

Rat Stuck In NYC Sidewalk Creates Quite A Moral Kerfuffle

I was reading Gothamist this morning and saw what was, simultaneously, the saddest and most hilarious little 'human' interest piece posted last night: a rat got stuck in a crack in a New York City sidewalk and a reader snapped a photo.

Wednesday October 21, 2009

Yours, Mine, And Ours: How Do We Decide How To Spend Marital Assets?

Like most couples, my husband and I have limited funds. Deciding how to spend them can be a source of tension, to put it delicately. Last night, my husband and I had one of our "delicate" moments. My husband wanted to take a class at the local college. I wanted to repaint the apartment. To do either one would put off any number of other projects/pleasures we'd had in mind.

Friday October 16, 2009

Falcon Heene: The Boy Who Cried 'Balloon'?

Questions are being raised about the Heene family. Apparently, they're known for their showmanship, publicity seeking, and have appeared on reality shows more than once. Is Balloon Boy a hoax? Was this all a publicity stunt? Falcon Heene's CNN comments leave one questioning.

Wednesday October 14, 2009

Does Courtesy Fall By The Wayside During A Stressful Day?

Short answer? For me, yes. And apparently, so does bloggery. I'd like to apologize for being light on the ethical pondering the last couple days, folks. It's been a heckuva week at work, and I've been so swamped I'm literally...

Saturday October 10, 2009

Should We Vaccinate Health Care Workers For Swine Flu Whether They Like It Or Not?

Health care workers are on the front lines of the battle against H1N1 this year. So why not look at the question of whether it ought to be mandatory for them to receive swine flu vaccinations using a military...

Thursday October 8, 2009

Nice People Rock... And I Want Them To Know It!

I just have to give a shout out to a woman named LuJean. I don't know her last name, but I do know she's the single nicest, most helpful sales lady I've ever run across at Macy's. We all know how...

Wednesday October 7, 2009

My People, the People of Wal-Mart

A few weeks ago, Hillary wrote about the website, peopleofwalmart. At the time I refrained from commenting because, well, I felt bad. I grew up in small towns around Missouri where Wal-Mart was the primary source of...everything. And while the...

Monday October 5, 2009

Is There a Free Pass When People Are Just Plain Annoying?

I wish. So, I've been hounding my friends like crazy lately. Why? Well, lately I've felt fresh out of ethical dilemmas. My solution was to post a status message on Facebook and instant messenger, begging people to send any ethical...

Monday October 5, 2009

Judge Not... Or Not?

We shouldn't make snap decisions, right? At least, that's the message I believe one of our commenters was trying to get across when he (or she) wrote in response to our David Letterman post, "Hero Or Creep": Might there...

Sunday October 4, 2009

Karma or Racism -- You Tell Me

Yesterday was a big day for me; I moved out of New York City, my home of seven years. It was a whirlwind day--finishing up some work, packing, saying my goodbyes to good friends. Then of course there was the...

Friday October 2, 2009

Getting the Last Word: Petty, But So Desperately Satisfying

Today in the grocery store checkout line, a regal-looking elderly woman gave me a hard time. It burned me up so much I walked out of there fuming and practically muttering to myself, rehashing the incident and thinking, boy,...

Wednesday September 30, 2009

Not in My Backyard--but Perhaps the Woods Behind It ?

My sense of justice vs legal ethics goes a bit askew when it comes to sex offenders. On the one hand, I believe in crime and punishment as well as rehabilitation; on the other hand, I don't know many...

Wednesday September 30, 2009

Earthquake, Tsunami Strike American Samoa: Will You Reach Out A Hand To Aid Those Suffering This Faraway Disaster?

It's being reported upwards of a hundred lives may have been lost in Samoa and American Samoa, tiny South Pacific islands far, far away from most of us (assuming you're a continental American reading this). Closer to home, floods...

Saturday September 26, 2009

Here's To "Justice!" Harvard Moral Philosophy Class To Appear On PBS!

Fascinating news! I just read that PBS will air a series based on an edited version of a wildly popular Harvard philosophy class on ethics and morality. The class, called "Justice: What's the Right Thing to Do?" is the brainchild...

Wednesday September 23, 2009

What-If Wednesday: When A Friend Does A Disappearing Act, Should You Seek Them Out?

Ever had a friend who simply vanishes from time to time? Well, I've got three. Yes, three. And not just acquaintances, but dear, close friends. We'll be gabbing on the phone, emailing, hanging out and doing girl stuff like bffs...

Wednesday September 16, 2009

Whose Life Would You Save?

I think I need to take a mental break from the race question, truly frightening schoolyard violence, health care reform, civility and the handful of other topics America is getting itself enraged over this week. So, let's play a game. ...

Monday September 14, 2009

Should We Be Judged by the Bad Behavior of Our Friends?

Well, friends, I hope you'll bear with me for some good ol' Monday angsting. As we all know, it's tempting to navel-gaze, but I think that my questions for you just manage to miss the self-indulgent mark (I hope?)...Some would say...

Wednesday September 9, 2009

Is It Our Civic Duty To Watch President Obama's Health Care Speech To Congress?

Whether you're for it or against it, odds are, you feel passionately about health care reform. But how many of us have even made the attempt to dive into the 1,000-odd page health care reform bill H.R. 3200 "America's Affordable...

Monday August 31, 2009

The Act of Giving -- Who Does It Best? Men or Women?

Three studies recently released brought a new twist to that age-old competition, man vs. woman--the question of generosity and charitable giving.The series of studies, published in the August 2009 Journal of Consumer Research, examined how men and women gave to...

Sunday August 30, 2009

Jaycee Lee Dugard: Should We Be Nosier Neighbors?

One pictures the kidnapping of young Jaycee Lee Dugard, pictures the little girl snatched from her family, and the mind simply goes blank with horror. Worse--unimaginable even--is the 18 years of slavery and sexual torture she must have endured in that...

Wednesday August 26, 2009

Remembering Ted Kennedy: Are We Doing It Right?

It is seldom that we lose someone of such legendary stature as Senator Edward M. Kennedy. Though the media may try to play up every death as a Cronkite or a Mother Theresa, I honestly don't feel the need...

Monday August 24, 2009

Does Lying on Your Online Dating Profile Get an Ethical Pass?

If there were ever an area where the little white lie came into question, it would be online dating. Oh, you're not 6' 2" with abs of steel? Or petite with the body of a goddess? Whoops. And funny...

Thursday August 20, 2009

Can Liars Become Leaders? Disgraced Reporter Jayson Blair Is Now... A Life Coach?!?

The AP is reporting disgraced ex-reporter Jayson Blair - famous for plagiarizing (and in some cases, completely fabricating) the news while a New York Times reporter back in 2003 - has a new career these days: Life Coach. Blair, who...

Wednesday August 19, 2009

What-If Wednesday: Would You Steal Office Supplies?

Studies show something like 60% of employees have stolen from the place where they work. Whether it's something little like a box of paperclips or a Post-It pad, or something big like that awesome ergonomic chair the boss is always swiveling...

Wednesday August 12, 2009

Health Care Reform: An Ethical Issue?

I've been hesitant to wade into any discussion of health care reform because, frankly, it feels too big for me. For a lot of Americans, I suspect. And besides, what exactly are the ethical angles to examine? Too many...

Tuesday August 4, 2009

The Thank-You Note Attempt That Went Up in Flames -- No, Really

Please don't call child services after you read this story.So, I'm great with saying thank-you -- I'm horrendous with a thank-you note. My poor mother tried her best, but sending out thank-you notes....well, it just never took.I dislike the sense...

Thursday July 23, 2009

High Class Problems

Ever heard the phrase, "High Class Problems"? As I understand it, it refers to those who bitch and moan about their woes, when they really have it pretty good. In other words, if you look in the dictionary, you'll...

Monday July 13, 2009

An Etiquette Roundup for the Ethical

Normal 0 Normal 0 One of the many things I love about my friends is their unflagging enthusiasm - since I started writing for this blog, countless dinner conversations and happy hour chatter have ended with the refrain, "Hey!...

Tuesday July 7, 2009

A Dignified Opinion

Last night I wrote a post relaying my discomfort and chagrin at what I considered to be an unethical gut reaction to the homage paid to Michael Jackson after his death. A few days earlier, Hillary referenced an article...

Monday July 6, 2009

Racism in the Workplace: What Do You Do When a Coworker Makes Off-Color Remarks?

Recently, I put out a call amongst my acquaintance for their everyday ethical dilemmas. A friend brought me a great one--What do you do when someone at work is a racist?The gist of her email (which she asked me not...

Tuesday June 30, 2009

The Supreme Court, Sonia Sotomayor, Reversals and Reverse Discrimination

It's hard for someone like me, with no legal background, to understand the intricacies of yesterday's Supreme Court decision about the New Haven, Conn. firefighters' discrimination (or so-called  'reverse discrimination') lawsuit.   Obviously, there's more going on here than...

Wednesday June 10, 2009

Do We Tip To BE Generous, Or To SEEM Generous?

And does the intent matter? I'm settling in to do some writing at my local coffee joint, getting all prepared to talk...you know...ethics 'n' stuff. I make sure I buy enough (a black & white cookie and a large decaf...

Tuesday June 9, 2009

Good Neighbors: Respect Privacy, or Leap In to Lend a Hand?

My neighbor has OCD--a fact I just recently learned. For the longest time I believed she simply hated me, or that she thought I was a psycho, and here's why: she wouldn't get on the elevator with me. We'd...

Monday June 8, 2009

When Do You Tell a Friend Her Boyfriend's a Jerk?

When I say this happened to a friend and not me, I really actually mean it. My friend had a dinner party at her summer place with some old friends--two couples, plus herself and her own boyfriend. Drinks went around...

Friday June 5, 2009

When Does Bad Etiquette Become Immorality? On the Subway, of Course.

I'm pleased to announce that Part II of our Underground Ethics "Subway Series" comes to you from our very first guest blogger: Beliefnet's own Entertainment Editor, Dena Ross. I asked Dena to write a post for us because, well, Dena has...

Wednesday June 3, 2009

The Goode Family: Does Being Ethical Mean Being Annoying?

Mike Judge's newest animated sit-com, The Goode Family, which premiered last week on ABC, is all about the eponymous Goode family, do-gooders who are always trying to do the 'right' thing and be responsible. Their PC intentions lead to ridiculous scenarios...

Monday June 1, 2009

Dating Rules Follow-Up: When Is It OK to Stick Your Nose In?

Paddy's recent post about how to date honestly (or too honestly) got me thinking about relationships, intentions, and the perils of long-term commitment, particularly when cultural, religious, and social mores collide. Her post asks us whether 'tis better to be...

Monday June 1, 2009

Underground Ethics: A Subway Series. Part I: How the Emergency Gate Shames Me

Welcome to Part I of our exciting new series, Underground Ethics. As the name implies, we'll be talking about things that take place far below the day-lit realm, things dark and ugly, seamy and salacious, perhaps unholy. Yes, that's...

Thursday May 28, 2009

Controversy Over New Hugging Trend Among Teens Leads to Hug Bans in High Schools

Yep, that's right, now affection is illegal. The New York Times today reported on the new fad for hugging among teens in an article entitled For Teenagers, Hello Means 'How About a Hug?'Kids these days are embracing all over the...

Monday May 25, 2009

The Weekend Wuss-Out--Musings On the Ethics & Responsibilities of Friendship

This Memorial Day Weekend has been a long and busy one for my family. My brother's wedding took place (yippie! Mazel Tov, guys) so I spent the last three days in a flurry of bachelorette parties, rehearsals, rehearsal dinners, and...

Tuesday May 19, 2009

Pregnant At 66...?!?

I was just watching this Diane Sawyer clip (see video embedded below) on ABC News about the 66-year-old British woman, Elizabeth Adeney, now 8 months pregnant and soon to become the UK's oldest-ever mother. She's a successful career woman who chose...

Monday May 18, 2009

Keeping the Tags On That Dress--Just In Case

My brother's wedding is right around the corner, and what do you know, I'm a bridesmaid. Luckily, my fantastic sister-in-law-to-be chose a great dress for her bridesmaids (thank you!), which is very wearable and wasn't too expensive either. Just another...

Saturday May 16, 2009

Gotcha! Google Chat Teaches Me a Lesson

Oh the shame! I was caught, my ugly side bared on Google chat, saved to the "Chats" history for me to re-live the disgrace for eternity. Today I fell victim to my catty side, as well as to Google chat. ...

Thursday May 14, 2009

Oprah Apologizes to Memoirist Frey. Too Little, Too Late?

I can't believe Oprah Winfrey has apologized to author James Frey after the way she skewered him on her 2006 show for fictionalizing parts of his bestselling memoir. But that's what Vanity Fair is reporting has happened, at least according...

Wednesday May 13, 2009

The Acupuncture Appointment From Hell--And How I Weaseled Out of Another.

Today I took the coward's way out. Two days ago, I had an appointment with an acupuncturist--someone I hadn't been to before. I'd been suffering from migraines, and was told the treatment might be a good holistic alternative to some heavy-duty...

Tuesday May 12, 2009

Sweet Revenge: Wanda Sykes vs. Rush Limbaugh

When I first heard Wanda Sykes' jokes about Rush Limbaugh this last weekend ( "I think maybe Rush Limbaugh was the 20th hijacker. But he was just so strung out on OxyContin he missed his flight," "I hope your kidneys...

Tuesday May 12, 2009

Swine Flu Ethics ?!?

Here's a sniffly, sneezy, gross, icky, potentially deadly (but thankfully so far mild) hot topic to talk about. The ethics of swine flu. Oh, excuse me, Obama administration and U.S. Pork Industry... H1N1 Influenza.Vice President Biden stirred up controversy recently with ill-considered...

Monday May 11, 2009

Dropping the F-Bomb--Or Not. Is it Sometimes More Ethical To Have a Dirty Mouth?

I didn't expect my first post to excite much controversy--from my friends, at least. But to my surprise, even my mother, who was in part the subject of it, had a criticism. "Nice post," she said. "But it would have...

Friday May 8, 2009

Carrie Prejean--Role Model or Rogue Model?

  Every day, it seems there's another Carrie Prejean story in the news. For those who haven't been paying attention (and I kinda wish I was one of you), she's the Miss USA pageant contestant from California whose answer...

Thursday May 7, 2009

Manners or Me First? A Tale of Ethics and the Native New Yorker

By way of introduction, I'd like to share a little about myself. (I'd promise not to do it again, but I undoubtedly will.) I was raised by a family who assumed I'd always instinctively understand the difference between right...

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About Everyday Ethics

This blog is all about ethics. It's also about us--ordinary people facing ordinary situations. It's about asking ourselves the hard questions: What responsibility do we bear in our interactions (and yes, confrontations) with the people we meet? How do we best respond to those around us in a way that leaves us feeling good about ourselves and confident our behavior has done no harm? Have we helped or hurt our fellows in these moments? It's our belief that by asking some big questions (and some little ones too) we can grow as humans. We're glad you're along for the ride!

About the Authors

Hillary Fields
Hillary Fields is a New York-based writer, editor and web producer.
» Posts by Hillary Fields
Padmini Mangunta
Padmini Mangunta is a writer and editor with a Journalism degree from the University of Missouri-Columbia.
» Posts by Padmini Mangunta
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