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20 Scriptures That Bring Hope to Any Situation
5 Ways to Revive Your Dream!
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5 Tips for Better Sleep
7 Top Health Issues Facing Today’s Women
Celebrities Who Won't Back Down
A Conversation with Minnesota Wild Center Matt Cullen
Yes, Gratitude Works!
10 Ways to To Handle Life Changes With Courage
The Fruits of Desire
Nurturing a Healthy Marriage
10 Ways to Get Over a Hurtful Past
Ten Things Every Dad Should Tell His Son
On a sunny morning in June, 2003, two days after my 37th birthday, I had an unsolicited, unexpected and unbelievable encounter with God. Put more simply, without asking, praying or seeking, I woke up one morning a churchgoing agnostic (following years of rabid atheism) and put my head to the pillow that night a newly minted, highly unlikely Christian. I wish I could say my radical conversion happened gently…all harps and angels and light…but that was not my experience. On the contrary, I was nauseous, had trouble catching my breath and felt like there was a 500 lb weight on my chest. I thought I was having a heart attack. But here’s the kicker. A lifelong skeptic who was, at times, militantly anti-Christian, I suddenly believed without hesitation that the Christian story that I had frequently railed against was true. I couldn’t have told you what that story was, but I knew without the luxury of details that it was all true. Now this might make some sense if I needed a spiritual experience. Say if I was fighting a serious illness or was down on my luck financially-or maybe if I were struggling with a painful loss or trying to navigate a tough personal challenge. But I didn’t need a spiritual experience. As far as I was concerned, my life was perfect. I was a successful PR executive making a healthy six-figure salary, married to my best friend who also made a six-figure salary. We had three healthy, happy kids and lived in our dream home about an hour northwest of New York City. I was seven years sober and had faced down most of my major issues/resentments in a program of recovery. Life was pretty good. Yet, there I was-sick, crying and convinced that something beyond my comprehension had happened to me. No one was more surprised than my husband Martin, who was there with me when it happened. He had been a Christian since he was a kid and knew the extent to which I thought the whole Christian thing was a contrivance. I had fought vigorously over coffee and cigarettes to convince him that religion had been created by leaders to control the masses or by weak individuals to soften the blow of their incapacity to deal with their day to day lives. He never did come around to my way of thinking, but I figured if he could overlook the fact that I was an alcoholic single mother with two kids and marry me, I could overlook the fact that he was a Christian and marry him. So here I was, convinced that this Christian thing was true, with no idea what that really meant. What followed was years of learning that is discussed in much greater detail in a book that I am writing. Suffice it to say that I learned that following Christ and living by the dictates of the Holy Spirit does not always add up to the overly simplified “join the team and your life will be wonderful” message that I have heard so frequently. As a matter of fact, the years since that day in 2003 have been some of the most difficult I have ever encountered. We have lost more than you can imagine-money, possessions, prestige and people. And yet, I would not turn back for the world. So, now I’m trying to make sense of this new life. Attempting to go beyond predictable platitudes in order to allow this change of heart to lead to a genuine change of life. This blog will chronicle the day to day joys and trials of my journey and raise some key questions and challenges I face as I find my place in a faith that still confounds me.
After more than four years of drafting, bumbling, abandoning projects and starting new ones I am thrilled to share that a large publishing house has agreed to take on my first book. It is a personal narrative called (surprise, surprise) Flirting with Faith: My Journey from Atheism to Agnosticism to a Devoted Life.
This is a mini-miracle for several reasons.
- I’m still floored by the fact that I wound up a Christian in the first place, so becoming a Christian author is further evidence that God both has a sense of humor and that He can (and does) do things that are beyond our wildest expectations.
- New and untested voices are risky for publishers and I am about as much of a nobody from nowhere as one can be in this marketplace.
- While I’ve had articles published in magazines, I have no big ministry or church or radio/tv show to use as a stepping-off point to promote this book. This is a real sticking point for most publishers.
- I am writing a personal narrative which is a tough sell in any market, not to mention today’s competitive and changing publishing marketplace.
And yet, against the odds, I find myself with a fantastic agent, an incredibly supportive editor and a February 15 deadline to produce and deliver a 60,000 word manuscript for release in Spring of 2010.
So, like my own blogging reality show, I am shifting the focus of my ConversantLife.com blog. From today forward (with a few exceptions I am sure) I hope to open a conversation with other aspiring and working writers about the joys and challenges of writing. From esoteric questions like what it takes to find and authentic voice to practical matters like what it takes to find an agent, I am hoping that this blog (which has now been moved from the “Spirituality” category to “Creative Arts”) will be a source of shared information, encouragement, collaboration and prayer for people who feel called to write.
In addition to sharing anything useful that I have learned so far and my ups and downs as journey from here to Spring 2010, I am hoping to interview authors, agents, publishers, magazine editors, marketers, book club leaders and anyone else who might help us to grow in our pursuit of the writing life.
If you are a writer or you’re interested in writing, I hope you’ll join me.
posted November 12, 2008 at 8:13 pm
I am writing a book right now. I am an unknown also. I have a publicist. They are very interested in my book. I am going through a divorce and it has been a yar from Hell. But I am going to make it. I have to be careful what I write as I am under a lot of pressure and scrutiny. I don’t know how I found this blog…I just ended up here.
posted November 12, 2008 at 8:16 pm
I know how to spell Year it just came out yar.
That’s swift on my first entry on a site that is all about being a writer…good start..
posted November 13, 2008 at 3:33 am
Hello Joan,
As I am currently studying and writing on the opposite end of the spectrum you now find yourself on, I have a few questions for you if you don’t mind? 1. What lead you to be atheistic in the first place? Were you exposed to the Church as a child? 2. Did the Academia shape your beliefs or even persuade you to reject God? 3. Throughout your years as a practicing atheist, did you experience an internal conflict or sense of “doing wrong” despite your professed beliefs? If so, did it manifest as anger towards others or self-destructive tendencies or even both? Thanks in advance for your input and time.
(As these are fairly personal questions, we can communicate by email if you prefer)
Doc’
posted November 13, 2008 at 11:08 pm
Hi Cattleman180: Thanks for stopping by and all the best on your book project.
Doc: I did not grow up in the church and I never believed in God. I wanted to. I was fascinated by the notion. it just never happened for me. Academia did not shape my beliefs one way or the other. As for doing wrong…my notion of doing right or wrong was very much tied to personal interest. Doing the wrong thing didn’t bother me as much as getting caught or having some other negative outcome did. I hope that is helpful…
posted November 16, 2008 at 5:59 pm
Congratulations! That’s wonderful!!!
Which publishing house are you with?
posted November 16, 2008 at 11:31 pm
Hi Trish: I am with Howard Publishing, an imprint of Simon and Schuster. I am really excited.