Then my peripheral vision began to falter.
At first I thought my eyes were tired, so I got up and took a little walk. When I returned to the book I was reading, there were fuzzy bands running across the page and I was unable to focus. Looking up, I couldn't focus on the faces of the people in the room either. Not good.
Skipping the dramatic play-by-play, the upshot of the day was an ER visit, slow and unusual speech and a bout of full body muscle tension that left me unable to move my legs, bend my torso or unclench my jaw. A cat scan confirmed no stroke and a muscle relaxant worked to return my faculties. My eyes are still playing tricks on me but the other symptoms have subsided, which points to the possibility of some kind of headache-free migraine (yup, they exist). I'll follow up with the doctor later today to see what's what. While I'm sure it is something manageable, I'm ready to play whatever hand I am dealt.
In the meantime, I just can't stop thinking about that gratitude list. Despite my best efforts to be intentional about appreciating the things I have, I still am prone to take so much for granted. Why does it take a scare for me to fully appreciate my health, a full table at Thanksgiving, a husband who is kind and caring in times of ease and times of trouble, great kids who love me, a sister who will drop everything to hold my hand beside an ER bed, the prayers of good friends and family and a faith that carries me through? How many wake up calls does it take to actually wake up?
So, while it seems so "last week" to ask about gratitude, I'll throw out the question again...what do you have to be grateful for today? What are you taking for granted?
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Credis: It am not sure why you are compelled to resort to poking at people's character and culinary habits rather than remaining in dialog, but it appears you cannot help yourself. I have done my best to have a zero comment-delete policy at the blog and have yet to remove a comment that was not a spam advertisement. Unfortunately, your contempt for me and others who frequent the space is growing tiresome and creating negativity in the space that I can no longer allow. I will not remove this comment, but it will be the last one. All future comments that stray from topic into sniping at individuals will be removed.
Best regards.
Michael, another work that you may like in the effort to embrace both Buddhism and Christianity is Richard Rohr's latest, The Naked Now.
Joan,
i am so sorry to hear that you went/are going through this. It must have been so scary. i can certainly empathize. Thank you for sharing.
i am grateful to be alive, grateful for my wife, grateful for my friends, including you, Joan, for mysteries, paradoxes, existential angst...
Warmest Regards,
Adele
Thanks Adele...I know you can empathize. I've so enjoyed peeking in on your travels via social networks. Looking forward to catching up with you soon.
Joan
Joan,
Bless you, Joan...I couldn't agree with you more...from 6am to 10pm, there are 57,600 seconds...imagine if we could earn one penny per second...wow...yet almost more than every other second which passes by that we are "expecting the usual/normal" trend of life to be "automatic"; though you may see your sudden scare as an awakening, it is truly a blessing, for only very few have such an opportunity, or chance, to be aware of our daily surroundings, including our loved ones, and willingly make an effort live a fuller and more meaning life; not all happiness, and inner peace, are found in a material world...
Jerome
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