Flirting with Faith

Flirting with Faith

Nothing Like a Visit to the ER to Shake Loose a Little Gratitude…

posted by Joan Ball | 9:05am Monday November 30, 2009

I had a little trouble writing a gratitude list in a post last week. It’s not that I was feeling particularly ungrateful – just a little tired and a little blah as the days moved toward Thanksgiving. The holiday passed easily. A quiet day with family (and way too much wonderful food). Friday found me back at my favorite cafe, working on a paper and catching up on some emails.

Then my peripheral vision began to falter.
At first I thought my eyes were tired, so I got up and took a little walk. When I returned to the book I was reading, there were fuzzy bands running across the page and I was unable to focus. Looking up, I couldn’t focus on the faces of the people in the room either. Not good.
Skipping the dramatic play-by-play, the upshot of the day was an ER visit, slow and unusual speech and a bout of full body muscle tension that left me unable to move my legs, bend my torso or unclench my jaw. A cat scan confirmed no stroke and a muscle relaxant worked to return my faculties. My eyes are still playing tricks on me but the other symptoms have subsided, which points to the possibility of some kind of headache-free migraine (yup, they exist). I’ll follow up with the doctor later today to see what’s what. While I’m sure it is something manageable, I’m ready to play whatever hand I am dealt. 
In the meantime, I just can’t stop thinking about that gratitude list. Despite my best efforts to be intentional about appreciating the things I have, I still am prone to take so much for granted. Why does it take a scare for me to fully appreciate my health, a full table at Thanksgiving, a husband who is kind and caring in times of ease and times of trouble, great kids who love me, a sister who will drop everything to hold my hand beside an ER bed, the prayers of good friends and family and a faith that carries me through? How many wake up calls does it take to actually wake up?
So, while it seems so “last week” to ask about gratitude, I’ll throw out the question again…what do you have to be grateful for today? What are you taking for granted?
 


Previous Posts

Does the Protestant Work Ethic Hold Up in the 21st Century?
Reading a "secular" textbook this morning about the roots of Americans' tendency to define themselves by the work they do and came across this: "Calvin's doctrine of predestination led his followers [to view] success in work...as a visible sign that one was predestined to eternal life. This view of

posted 12:57:29pm May. 25, 2011 | read full post »

Holy Saturday: Thoughts on Sacrifice
Woke this morning thinking about sacrifice and how infrequently most of us, myself included, actually sacrifice anything of true value to ourselves for God and others. Sure we give money to our favorite charities. But when is the last time we actually parted with money that would have gone to paying

posted 9:50:42am Apr. 23, 2011 | read full post »

Maundy Thursday: Inspirational Holy Week Stories for an Extraordinary Season...
Wondering about the meaning of Holy Week and Easter? A new friend and talented author, pastor, artist Dr. David McDonald, has created a helpful site called The Common Truth: Ordinary Stories for an Extraordinary Season that offers thought-provoking daily reflections and inspirational Easter season

posted 9:51:07am Apr. 21, 2011 | read full post »

An Ordinary Holy Week Primer for an Extraordinary Season...
Wondering about the meaning of Holy Week and Easter? A new friend and talented author, pastor, artist Dr. David McDonald, has created a helpful site called The Common Truth: Ordinary Stories for an Extraordinary Season that offers thought-provoking daily reflections on Palm Sunday, Fig Monday, Grea

posted 12:27:39am Apr. 19, 2011 | read full post »

I Don't Care About Heaven or Hell...
I don't care about heaven or hell. There, I said it. As I've watched the flood of blog posts, Tweets, television interviews and articles about Rob Bell's new book Love Wins: A Book about Heaven, Hell and the Fate of Every Person that Ever Lived and the response of folks like John Piper&nbs

posted 8:34:56am Mar. 18, 2011 | read full post »

Advertisement
Comments read comments(16)
post a comment
L.L. Barkat

posted November 30, 2009 at 10:58 am


So sorry to hear about this Joan. Sounds like it was scary (and maybe still is). I’m grateful for beautiful words today, and beautiful you.



report abuse
 

Joan Ball

posted November 30, 2009 at 11:16 am


Thanks “L.L.” I appreciate your kind words. I’m pretty peaceful at the moment – but who knows what tomorrow will bring :)



report abuse
 

jestrfyl

posted November 30, 2009 at 12:31 pm


Don’t forget gratitude for the ER folks – who are there everyday, doing what needs to be done whenever it has to happen. I needed them a year ago July 4 – and they were there. And so were the paramedics and ambulance folks. I was mended and sent home without much fuss. So think of them on the holidays.
By the way – have they checked for MS – it sure sounds like the symptoms.



report abuse
 

michael j contos

posted November 30, 2009 at 12:47 pm


Now my day is complete. I found this link and a bunch of articles to peruse for my heart’s content.
Must warn you, I am a searcher who wants to merge my Catholicism with Buddhist practices. Think it can work? I tell people I am a “Zen Christian.” Kinda like that.
Feel the touch of God when I meditate and find love and forgiveness inside. I refer to that warmth as the “child” inside, the Divine Self. In Sufi, I think they call it “the Beloved.”
michael j



report abuse
 

Joan Ball

posted November 30, 2009 at 12:54 pm


Hi Michael: So glad you made it over here! I am sure there will be much to think about for someone on a journey such as yours. As for what will or will not “work” I believe that an honest search for God is the best we mortals can do. My journey has led me to Jesus – not sure what’s in store for you. Hope we can learn from one another as we continue along the way.



report abuse
 

Joan Ball

posted November 30, 2009 at 12:55 pm


jestrfyl: Haven’t tested for much yet, but MS did come to mind. Time will tell…



report abuse
 

Veron Graham

posted November 30, 2009 at 5:49 pm


Hey Joan,
I’m sorry to hear about this. I appreciate you sharing your perspective despite the uncertainty that life seems to throw our way.
“How many wake up calls does it take to wake up?” Yeah, that’s such a great question!
It’s living in what seems as life’s paradox that makes this journey so exciting, yet, stressful at times. Wanting to understand the truth, and become a wiser person, but yet, it seems that to “Wake up” often comes through hard experiences. But I’m with you, I’m trying to learn as much from the experiences of others, and I pray for the strength to embrace the growth that is only attained through life’s sharp corners.
That being said, I wish, hope & pray that you continue to experience great health Joan!



report abuse
 

Greg

posted November 30, 2009 at 8:10 pm


Joan, losing control of the body. So scary. Such a frail machine, actually.
I have found yoga helps so much as I get older. And it helps to have a daughter who is obsessive not only about everything she eats but everything I eat!



report abuse
 

Greg

posted November 30, 2009 at 8:15 pm


Michael, definitely a good match. One I have made as well. You would probably enjoy the book The Gethsemane Encounter that chronicles a meeting between Buddhist and Christian monastics.
Since Vatican II there has been a significant interfaith dialogue between Buddhist and Catholics.



report abuse
 

credis

posted November 30, 2009 at 10:49 pm


sounds like your body is telling you something.
less coffee and sitting, more walking and breathing, a healthier mental and physical diet.
i am simply amazed at how much leonard sweet eats, and the piglets at his gathering.
wow! can’t be healthy.



report abuse
 

Joan Ball

posted December 1, 2009 at 1:13 am


Credis: It am not sure why you are compelled to resort to poking at people’s character and culinary habits rather than remaining in dialog, but it appears you cannot help yourself. I have done my best to have a zero comment-delete policy at the blog and have yet to remove a comment that was not a spam advertisement. Unfortunately, your contempt for me and others who frequent the space is growing tiresome and creating negativity in the space that I can no longer allow. I will not remove this comment, but it will be the last one. All future comments that stray from topic into sniping at individuals will be removed.
Best regards.



report abuse
 

Greg

posted December 1, 2009 at 11:34 am


Michael, another work that you may like in the effort to embrace both Buddhism and Christianity is Richard Rohr’s latest, The Naked Now.



report abuse
 

Existential Punk

posted December 2, 2009 at 5:19 am


Joan,
i am so sorry to hear that you went/are going through this. It must have been so scary. i can certainly empathize. Thank you for sharing.
i am grateful to be alive, grateful for my wife, grateful for my friends, including you, Joan, for mysteries, paradoxes, existential angst…
Warmest Regards,
Adele



report abuse
 

Joan Ball

posted December 2, 2009 at 12:44 pm


Thanks Adele…I know you can empathize. I’ve so enjoyed peeking in on your travels via social networks. Looking forward to catching up with you soon.
Joan



report abuse
 

Jerome Laupapa

posted December 4, 2009 at 3:10 pm


Joan,
Bless you, Joan…I couldn’t agree with you more…from 6am to 10pm, there are 57,600 seconds…imagine if we could earn one penny per second…wow…yet almost more than every other second which passes by that we are “expecting the usual/normal” trend of life to be “automatic”; though you may see your sudden scare as an awakening, it is truly a blessing, for only very few have such an opportunity, or chance, to be aware of our daily surroundings, including our loved ones, and willingly make an effort live a fuller and more meaning life; not all happiness, and inner peace, are found in a material world…
Jerome



report abuse
 

Pingback: True Confessions: (Finally) Coming Clean on My Dirty Little Secret… - Flirting with Faith

Post a Comment

By submitting these comments, I agree to the beliefnet.com terms of service, rules of conduct and privacy policy (the "agreements"). I understand and agree that any content I post is licensed to beliefnet.com and may be used by beliefnet.com in accordance with the agreements.

Share this story


About Beliefnet

Our mission is to help people like you find, and walk, a spiritual path that will bring comfort, hope, clarity, strength, and happiness. More about Beliefnet.

Help

Media Kit

Subscribe

Legal

Copyright © Beliefnet, Inc. and/or its licensors. All rights reserved. Use of this site is subject to Terms of Service and to our Privacy Policy. Constructed by Beliefnet.

Advertisement

Report as Inappropriate

You are reporting this content because it violates the Terms of Service.

All reported content is logged for investigation.