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Gallows humor, dark comedy–created for very good reasons. Something along the lines of “If I don’t laugh, I’m going to cry.” And because funny is hidden in the deepest crevices of grief and suffering sometimes. And in the nooks of stress and general despair. It’s a way of distancing ourselves from the bad feelings that threaten to consume us, covering up insecurities, bringing light and perception into the shadows.
Today I’m trying to laugh because I am steeped in fear. I’ve got my bi-annual oncology checkup in a few hours and I can’t think, can’t really speak too well, and am just barely functioning (also, I’ve had a hell of a crazy week–my shrink looked at me today and said, “Wow, you’re still standing.”). And really, fear sucks. It’s cold, it’s depleting, it’s contracting, it brings our energy down, causes our insides to squirt danger juice (cortisol), slows down our immune system, actually takes out brain cells. It’s just a total buzzkill.
So when I came across this quote today, it was such a delicious, chain-shaking relief to spontaneously laugh, hard–fear’s ultimate antidote:
“We’re in the middle of nowhere, which is the safest part of nowhere.” - Futurama (the Matt Groening show).
I feel like it’s still making my organs laugh it connects so deeply with the kind of fear I’m in. Like, nowhere! Ha! Middle of it! Safest! That’s the thing with darkish humor (even in its lightest form), you kind of have to be there (read: freaking out) to get it. But anyway, that’s all I got.
Have you gotten through a tough time with dark humor?
posted November 19, 2009 at 6:56 pm
Valerie:
I am sorry for your rough week and ongoing life stresses. I am the only female in my family without cancer, and am going for a mammogram next week. I have had countless biopsies, as well, so I can kind of empathize with some of your stress. I am a huge fan of both Futurama and dark humour, and am glad you’re using both. If you care to email me, I’ll give you my essential oil formula for “aura cleanser” because, well, I feel I’m supposed to.
posted November 20, 2009 at 9:23 am
When I was in the deepest, darkest throes of my separation and subsequent divorce, I tried hard to not talk ill of my spouse, especially in front of our daughters, who are adults, but knew I was hurting. So whenever I would mention their father’s name, I would always conclude it with “God rest his soul”. We would both have a good laugh, albeit “sick”, but it sure made it easier to get through those times. So, God, forgive me!