When i ask to someone how are you?it means… i miss you.

My daddy is that only someone.

After so long, I’ve gotten the impression that people don’t really want to know “how” you are; it’s just something to say for a greeting. So in answer I sometimes say, “Well, it’s good to see you!”(deflects pressure off me for an answer) or “I’m glad I’m not that woman who was killed in that bad accident I heard about”
(deflection; redirection); and depending on the environment I may even say, ” I am well blessed!” and by speaking the blessing, God will honor it and send me a blessing!

I have ALWAYS thought about this very topic!! I personally NEVER say “How are you” as a “greeting” I think its rude and pointless!! no one truly puts any meaning behind that question….

I know what some of you mean. I, personally, don’t know how to answer this question. I do have a lot to be thankful for (like a roof over my head & food on the table), but I have been suffering from severe depression for the last 2 years. In 2009, alone, my mother moved out in Jan., my best friend’s 27 year old son died in Feb., my dog got ran over & killed in March, my best friend (whose son died in Feb.), died in Sept at only 54 & I lost my job in Nov. WOW! I sure hope 2010 is a better year. I usually just answer “I’m hanging in there!”

Great topic! I’ve never really given much thought to that phrase, but I usually respond with “fine, how are you?” unless its like my fiance or mom or someone I love and care about. Its also just a general conversation starter too. Awkward silences can be yucky

This may be taking the subject “too far,” but it pertains to what people really want to know when they ask “how are you?”
I had a therapist once that told me that I would “never be normal” until I could discuss being a survivor of child abuse in casual conversation. It took me a while to get up the courage to rebut that with, “But then it wouldn’t be a CASUAL conversation anymore, would it?” Body language and context should tell you whether “how are you?” is just a casual conversation starter or greeting, or whether the person is really ready for a spiritual discussion on how, or even who, you really are.

I found a amazing ans to How are You—– Marvelous the look at me is totally amazing or they are to shocked at Mavelous to say anything I like it I’ve been using it for awhile and think I found the right word. Try Marvelous you might like the replies. Don

I’m a substance kind of guy, so when I’m asked this question, particularly by s person who isn’t very close to me, I just want to answer “Do you Care?” Of course, I am usually polite, and answer “fine” or “hanging in there”, depending upon my mood. I try not to ask this question to anyone either. I find that if I ask “What’s up” instead, I either get an answer like “nothing”, or one with a little thought. And if someone answers nothing, I can immediately say something like “what do you mean by nothing – your alive aren’t you?”

Here is a real Hoot! Years ago a woman my Mom knew was coming towards her intent on not spilling her coffee and she asked Mom, how are you? Mom had had a miserable sleepless night and said so, the woman answered,”thats nice” and hurried away. She obviously didn’t care and didn’t hear. Mom and I got a real chuckle out of this.
Every since that time, when I do ask this question, I always stand still and wait for the person to answer. And amazingly they do want someone to listen and they do tell you about the sinus condition or the soon to be root canal. Not that I can do anything to change the situation. But I only ask of someone I really care about.

I read most of your “chat” and I used to believe that it was a salutation and no one really wanted to hear the laments of my life and just expected a I’m fine or its equivalent. However, over the last few years my standard reponse has been I’m blessed. That response ignores the negative issues in my life and focuses on the fact that God enshrouded me with his love throughout the night and recognizes the fact that I am still ambulatory. I’m blessed says it all and it causes the inquiring person to think…

I don’t find an answer to the headline in this article? Just a lot of social babble, no information.

When asked how are you? I always reply “Good as can be and hope you are”. They usally look at me puzzled and smile. Works for me for many years and my Dad started it many years ago.

I find this topic and discussion very interesting. I agree that most of the time the greeting “How are you?” is just something we say and most people aren’t expecting or ready for a real answer. I had an experience a few years ago at the church I was attending where a friend asked “how are you?” as we passed in the hallway, and I responded “not so good” She replied “that’s nice” and then it hit her my response wasn’t “I’m good”. She asked what was up and I told her briefly about some health issues.
I think as a Christian I need to be discerning and try to respond at the level others can handle. Most of us wouldn’t pour our troubles out to a stranger, but a close friend who we had come to know cares over a period of time. So for the most part, when asked “How are you?”, I do a quick mental check of circumstances (are they busy), past relationship (have they been interested beyond surface information), and respond accordingly. A mental note: they’re not bad if they’re not interested in the details, everyone can’t be deeply involved in everyone else’s lives, we make choices.

Well how totally refreshing to see. I ask this or should I say, I say this to people. It really is sincere, wanting to know how someone’ is doing. So many times in life, we never know when just a kind chat online could add sunshine to someones life. Just comes natural, and no matter how people answer, you get the realness of them in that moment. To go further, when the question is asked, someone will say fine, that “I won’t complain”. which means there could be something not so pleasant going on or has happened and they would rather focus on the positive, or that nothing could be wrong at all. Some people can just plain right out tell you how they feel. The thing I love about asking is that I really do care if people are having a great day, and how they respond is very real, living and loving another human being in that moment, enough to just merely do something very simple and say hello, “how are you?” Whatever the response, you and that person are living in the moment.

okey.

Years ago, there was a gal who always dashed by us at church, and asked ‘how are you’ and was gone before we could respond! My mother and I talked about this, and felt it was cute at the time. However, I have noticed others who do this also. Thus, for years I have always answerd to the question ‘how are you’ with a I Don’t know! As I feel people don’t really want to know how ‘I feel’, but just a greeting only! I do get many responses. Those who care, show it, then I explained why my response to their inquire! lol!

My favorite way to answer this is I have no idea! I also say fair to midlin (spelling?)

interesting subject! I was just talking with my therapist the other day about this very thing! I told her that my response from now on would be ” I’m hanging in there”. I hate anyone asking me how I’m doing because I don’t feel like anybody really wants to know. It seems as though most people do use it as a greeting and really don’t want to hear your problems. So this way if they’re really concerned, I’ve opened the door for them to ask me about it, but if they don’t want to know, then ok.I didn’t have to lie and tell them I feel like crap today!

When I’m asked how I am I feel that this person is sincere. I do believe, tho that it’s a form of greeting also that’s been around since the beginning of time and something that we learned from our parents and others. When I ask someone ‘how are you’ I am being sincere and do want to know what’s going on with this person whom I work with or see often. I’ve met strangers who will respond to my ‘how are you’ with a story they really needed to get off of their chest.I’ve made new friends that way; and they will always remember you for being there. I’ve had the experience. We need each other in these times; we need to reach out and be sincere when we ask ‘how are you’ and make the time to listen. You may be saving a life! Mary

I used to answer with my own question – “Do you want the truth or a bad lie?” But for several years, one of my favorite answers to that question has been “vertical and breathing”. If the person just chuckled and moved on that was it. If they actually stopped for a moment, it was followed with “Those are the two most important points of the day right? If I get those two, the rest is gravy!” Which can lead to a chuckle and see you later or a conversation. Well, since I had a heart attack last month, that reply has become truer than ever! I had one day, both were an issue and nothing was gravy!Followed by many days I never made it to vertical. I’ve never been one to take things for granted, but those are two that I look at with an entirely new perspective!

I was thinking what it would be like to be in a Jane Austin novel. The characters are so polite and in depth. A conversation starting with “How are you?” would probably start with enjoyment of the weather & continue from there. No verbal vomit allowed. The more time each person has the longer the conversation would continue. Amazing what you can find out about people based on the weather. I definately recomend nature based conversations!

When someone asks “How are you, I feel hurt. They are not really asking about your life. It’s just a formality, and we are all expected to respond “Fine”, whether or not that is true. I wish people would simply say “Hello” or “Good morning” or “Nice weather, isn’t it?”
For those of us dealing with any sort of problem or challenge in our life (and there are many of us – probably most of the people you know), that question is cold and insincere.
Please think about this the next time you are tempted.

I like to reply, with a smile, “Fair to partly cloudy” That comment usually gets a smile back, we nod, and go on our ways. Sometimes I say in reply to “How are you?” I say, “I’m well, thank you.” or “Good, thank you.” Our parents taught us to respect and be polite to all we meet, even passing on the street, a smile is very contagious! Have a good day, and thanks for letting me comment.

Here in Australia – it is slightly different. We say “‘owyagoin’ Mate?”
(leaving out the ‘h’ and the ‘g’ and running the first 3 words together into one conglomeration. It is NOT considered a question as to the person’s state of being, their health (physical or mental) their financial status or how their day has progressed thus far – it is merely a salutation and the longest reply one normally gets is “tops Mate, ow’s yerself?” (if one is feeling particularly verbose.
I host International High School students and I have to teach them to learn that we indeed DON’T speak the Queen’s English here, but a slightly bastardised form, which they’ll soon adapt to (I don’t use that term or they’d look it up on their electronic translators and wonder if everyone in Australia indeed has illegitimate children (lol)
That said, when I ask how someone is going, I am ALWAYS sincere and actually asking for a conversation and the difference is, I actually separate the words and much prefer “How have you been?” instead of the flippant “owyagoin?” as I keep walking…does this make sense to anyone? Keep it in mind when you tour Australia, OK? (lol) – Margaret

This has been my reply, sincerely for many years…..
I’m very well, thank you.
(my honest, open, moderate, and polite response with gratitude) no expectations or attachments lol

I always show my appreciation when asked “how are you?” whether they truly care about your response or not. For me, that’s being polite and I always respond “I am doing great, thank you for asking.” Maybe not everyone wants to listen to our problems and issues we are having in life because it will only remind them of theirs.

Ya’ll need to read more zig ziglar. Quit looking so hard into the social analyst side of things, and put in your work or everyday actor side of things. You must clean your side of the street, if people want to clean their side of the street, that’s wonderful. Yes you say How are You?

How are you? means some one care for you!some one in this fast runnig world still want to care for you.But you will understand this feelings after that person out of your life I think.Please take care of those who love you,and care for you.

Usually a person gets asked “How are you?” by a check out clerk.
I find it rude when a check out clerk says GREAT!! in a strangely perky manner. That’s so strange, like they are being so false and fake.
I am sorry I read this conversation, though, since you both just chatted without any depth. Here I was expecting you to write something about how being in a store is usually where you get the
contrived question of “how are you?” vs. being asked the same question by someone you know. What a waste of time, you both acted like teenagers who haven’t a clue about what you’re talking about.
I would think a little substance is in order, here, if you want anyone to bother reading your chatty drivel.
Another weird question, in a store is “Did you find everything alright?” ( The common question now in stores) What ever happened to “Can I help you?” I guess they don’t want to help you.
If a clerk asks “How are you?” They really don’t care. If you are polite and answer “Fine, how are you?” They always seem to say ” GREAT”!! I have started to now skip the politeness and say back to them, ” I sort of doubt that”. They are one-upping the customer and that is really stupid of them.
Most people answer “Good, how are you?”, whether we are doing good or not. It is a filler question, meant to just acknowledge a stranger who is checking out and paying money.
The most irritating response from a store clerk, is when you ) a customer says “thank you” and they say “Uh huh”. It shows a real lack of polite behavior to a customer. It’s a common thing now, though, and I wish you could address this in an intelligent manner.