My favorite jeans have holes in them. Of course everyone’s favorite jeans do. They are the most comfortable and the most stylish. Top name brand jeans actually make the holes for you. They scrape them in various places to create the illusion of natural wear and random ripping. What is most interesting to me is the fact that when I was a kid I used to rip my jeans through actual wear and tear. I used to always get holes in the knees from playing the ways boys do. My mom would eventually throw these away because they were “ruined” not realizing that my destruction would actually make them more valuable in the future. I love the fact that regular males who worked hard or played hard created this worn look naturally and an iconic fashion trend was the result. The torn jean though seems to be the only natural occurring phenomenon that has stood the test of time and have made it wonderfully convenient for the straight man in America. Here is an innovative work we created. Gay men and a handful of women create most fashion design these days yet I don’t believe without straight men this jean look would ever have been birthed. See ordinarily, before they were “in”, a gay guy would never had been caught dead in ripped jeans because growing up they actually cared about their appearance. I wish there were more options for trendy wear based on what would be convenient and natural for the straight man. For example wrinkles have never caught on but if there is one look we need it’s the wrinkled shirt since every single man has a bunch of wrinkled shirts and we really would rather not iron them. If wrinkles became the new norm we men would be in hog heaven, not to mention it would make less work for wives of slovenly men since they wouldn’t have to iron them either. Mustard stains or spaghetti sauce on a white shirt would be a great trend since it has been proven scientifically that it is virtually impossible to eat red sauce or mustard while wearing a white shirt and not get some stain on it as white has a magnetic attraction to these colors and always get spilled on even if wearing a napkin tucked under the collar. It’s one of the laws of nature so why not cash in on it as a new “look”? Plus anything else you spill on yourself would be a bonus and show off your uniqueness. Lastly I think it would be prudent to create the culture where nothing ever went out of style. Something new and innovative would always be welcome but as long as you still have old stuff in your closet, it should be fair game to wear. This “inclusiveness” should bode well for progressives but more importantly allow us guys to never again have to hear the statement only ever uttered by a wife to her husband and never the other way around, namely ”You’re not wearing THAT are you?” The answer should forever more possibly be “ Yep, I’m going with the grass stained tee, the shorts I change the oil in and the duct taped tennis shoes. What are you wearing?”
My daughter sat me down the other day and was in tears. “Daddy I don’t want to go to heaven” What, I said, but why? Here I was ready to hear her impassioned plea that she wasn’t worthy to stand before a righteous God. Or perhaps she saw the plight of so many who would never see the pearly gates and, like Paul, would rather go to Hell if she could save all the lost souls.
Shortly my romanticizing of my daughters plight was soon to be dashed by the concept only a child born in a post modern, media driven culture could conjure up. She was afraid; being there for eternity that she would get…bored.
Yes this is what heaven has become to the modern man. What once was a place of eternal refuge from the pains of earthly existence has become a territory of tedium where it will be difficult to be perpetually entertained. That’s right my fellow Christian parents, apparently heaven has lost its appeal once the kids found out there was no texting there.
Of course it hasn’t helped things that heaven is normally depicted as a place where we all get wings and harps and play dirges to the Lord who one would think with all His omnipotent power would have provided more instruments at our disposal than an archaic one we don’t even play on earth.
Wings were another element that seemed a little unnecessary in heaven. Do we even breathe air in heaven, and if we want to get around do we really need to rely on the law of lift to get us there?
There is also this unsettling idea that we no longer belong to our earthly family but in fact have all become one in an eternal commune of togetherness. Suddenly Moses, Paul, AND Benny Hinn are my brothers?
Sounds like a bad Thanksgiving with the relatives your not good enough for, and the crazy uncle you have to invite every year but you pray he stays out of the cooking sherry!
I didn’t really have a good answer for my daughter as to how time would be spent in heaven, but I took some solace in the fact that she is contemplating the incomprehensible and wondering about eternity.
If more Christians would begin the hard journey of nurturing their intellect, and facing the hard problems of faith without fear that some answers are difficult to grasp, perhaps more secular humanist would give us a listen.
There is nothing more harmful to our faith than the Christian who says all they need is faith and the idea that our intellectual exploration is not of God. Gee, wonder why more and more “smart” people find God less and less compelling?
The Bible says if we don’t study, and meditate, and be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks, we should be ashamed of ourselves. I for one am grateful to my daughter for reminding me that she is made in Gods image, the hard things of God are worth exploring, and that my faith is strengthened by my rational and logical pursuits of Gods Truth!
Still not crazy about harp music though.
I have a question for you; where would we be w/o that purveyor of truth and tolerance…. the education system? What must it be like to be so concerned about children that you can begin to dictate what they are allowed to eat at school and more importantly at home.
I bought some frosted flakes the other day and failed to notice that they came with a 3rd less sugar. Let me make this crystal clear. There is only one reason why I buy frosted flakes….FOR THE FROSTED PART!
If I wanted frosted flakes with the sugar removed I would have bought Wheaties! My wife tells me the kids can’t bring sodas to school or snack cakes because the school is so concerned about obesity. They desperately don’t want my kids getting fat by food.
They also don’t want them getting fat because of pregnancy but apparently that’s a different fix. Condoms are available so our kids can have sex but it won’t make them fat. THERE’S your moral compass from the secular humanist. Heck if you encourage indulgence without consequences then why not be consistent and apply it to food?
Kids should be taught how to eat whatever and how much they want including snack cakes and Twinkies and then just teach them how to throw up. What’s the difference? Have sex…no pregnancy, or, eat empty calories then we’ll teach you how to remove the danger through the free-choice of purging, heck we’ll even call it your constitutional right! All without inconveniently notifying you’re parents. I mean isn’t that what school was intended for.
Sure we have a problematic national school system that ranks near the bottom in math and such. But I’ll bet we’re at the top of the list when it comes to teaching kids what to eat and how to use prophylactics.
Remember we live in a society whose chief aim is to allow us to indulge our appetites. Whatever I desire becomes my “right”. Really? I desire frosted flakes with a third MORE sugar. I want at least a cup poured at the bottom of the box to ensure my sugar fix; but no, not with big brother at the helm. The new battle cry for school kids is simple,
Don’t deny me and don’t judge me either as my self-esteem couldn’t take the hit. Of course reading and writing and arithmetic have their place, but when I fail at it you can teach me how to sue others for bias or prejudice or emotional distress. That’s what the founding fathers had in mind for school, to teach me and ESPECIALLY others…that no one is more important than me!
Yes school really came into its own when it began to be run by the politically correct and no longer demanded personal responsibility. You removed swats and discipline along time ago and OH aren’t kids nicer now? Finally you created a learning environment where kids can be trusted with automatic weapons.
All of this and you think that the real problem for our kids isn’t moral absolutes; it’s with sugar in frosted flakes? Enough is enough. This is education in America baby! Stay away from my sugar and pass the condoms, just like the founding fathers intended.
When Adam and Eve fell from grace after eating from the tree of good and evil, one of the “evil” things they came to realize was they were naked.
I don’t know exactly why being naked with your wife while being the only humans on earth would be considered evil?
It seems to me it should have been considered exactly how it felt prior to the apple…GOOD!
I can’t speak for women, but for a man to get to wander around outside nude surrounded by beautiful trees and sky and, oh yeah, a naked lady, would still be paradise in my book.
Men love the outdoors and being naked while there is simply a bonus. Nothing and I mean nothing makes a man feel more like a man than peeing outside.
So, the shame that came with nakedness must have been the beginning of the shyness that comes with others seeing us naked. That “other” being God at the time would make it even more traumatic since apparently he didn’t want us to “know” we were nude.
But it seems to me that takes all the fun out of it. If prior to the apple incident, seeing my wife naked wasn’t exciting, it defeats the purpose of being nude, which as I already said is one of men’s favorite scenarios.
God knew they were nude but wondered how they found out which could only mean that once they did they would feel less comfortable sharing that nudeness with God which is still strange since he made them that way and obviously never felt awkward being around them prior to that.
This fear of nudeness to strangers seems to be common now amongst most civilization’s though there are tribes in south America and Africa that walk around nude or partially so and apparently aren’t ashamed of it.
Even though some of the nude people are 70 year old men and women; which if you’ve had a chance to see them in all their senior anatomical splendor, would cause me, if I was chief, to make my first decree “The gods have spoken to the learned ones in a dream and now demand the sacred elderly to wear some kind of holy bra and loincloth otherwise we will have no choice but to gouge out our own eyes”.
The only time people in western culture are nude in front of a stranger without fear of being arrested is doctor’s visits. Though after the fall aside from being embarrassed at being nude, we as a group are also now going to get sick once in awhile and need to be closely examined preferably by someone we don’t know whose only qualification is they have a stethoscope.
We have all been trained that when a stranger with a stethoscope asks you to remove your clothes we’ll do it.
As a guy part of that consequence, by the way, is to have this unknown assailant, professional though he may be, physically grab, knead, and or examine our manhood from bough to stern while we get to make coughing noises since having your privates groped by a strange man wasn’t as humiliating as it needed to be for 500 bucks a shot so why not make us bark too. Just gives them more funny stories to share at the lunchroom.
So all I’m saying is when God asks you not to eat from a particular tree…your best bet is to take heed or it could lead to doctor’s visits, which, as we discovered can be disturbing.
That is unless having a strange man with a degree touching your junk isn’t disturbing to you…and by the way, if it isn’t …you need prayer.
