Christian men need forums through which they can discuss what it means to "be a man." And that has to include a discussion of how masculine power and expectations have created multibillion dollar industries such as prostitution and pornography that simultaneously depend on and perpetuate female victimization. While there is nothing unhealthy about a man appreciating female beauty, as soon as physical and social advantage is leveraged this age-old cycle of injustice is perpetuated--whether it is catcalls, harassment, billboards using female bodies to advertise cars or whiskey, or rape. To address this means doing an inventory of our hearts and asking for God's help in removing our lust, but it also means peer-pressuring other men to talk about women respectfully.

As a father of two daughters, I can appreciate most of the feminist movement, especially the fact that it has influenced what is socially acceptable language for men to use about women. (Granted, there has been a backlash, with some women using words like "chick" and "b-tch" as terms of empowerment--in the same way that some gays use "queer" and some African-Americans use the N word. It's too bad.) Let's get on board with a Christian pro-feminist men's movement, where men can together examine their own complacency, however benign, in perpetuating this injustice, and encourage each other to take a stand against it. (No, Promise Keepers isn't what I have in mind. And yes, being a pro-feminist Christian man doesn't mean you have to support abortion on demand. We set the parameters.)

Posted by: I and I | November 1, 2007 4:26 PM

We've got to get beyond "Evil men and their sex drive" if we are ever going to address issues like this. What your experience proved is that individual men are as much victims of this as the women are. The problem is systemic, not individual, although there are certainly individual problems. Attitudes towards women and sex contribute greatly to them. Why in this country do women seek to find dominant and achievement oriented men and avoid sensitive or less dominant men? This is also a result of these attitudes that link power and sexual attraction together.

Posted by: Aaron | November 1, 2007 8:08 PM

Thank you for your honesty. I feel sometimes men aren't willing to admit their own natural sexual desires. They’ve been subjected to the sensitivities of women and the perv. stereotypes that often come to those too out spoken. Speaking openly and honestly about this is a step in the right direction. Women as well as men need to understand each other’s sexual nature.

Posted by: Erika | November 26, 2007 9:54 PM