Keeping the Faith (by Bart Campolo)
For as long as I can remember, I've ended my letters and e-mails with the encouragement "Keep the faith." I must have picked that up from my father, since he's the only person I know who signs off the same way. It might have been more lucrative for me to have picked up "It's Friday, but Sunday's coming!" instead, but I've always preferred the flexibility of the simpler phrase. Not everyone who hopes for God's grace is a Christian, after all, and we who are surely hope for more than that. We hope to be happy and successful, for example, however we measure those things. We hope that our parents love us and that our marriages work out and, more than anything, that our kids will always be safe and sound. We hope for such things, at least, unless we have learned to know better.
On the Monday morning after my last letter, a mother and daughter from our fellowship showed up at our side door. Terry is mentally handicapped and deeply damaged. Her daughter has her own set of issues. For months we'd been planning a summer move from their dangerous, filthy, heatless apartment building into a cute little duplex we've been fixing up around the corner, but all of a sudden we were too late. "Tanya got raped in the hall last night," her mother said, and from then until now we've been walking on the dark side of love.
The sequence of what followed doesn't matter, and I couldn't remember it even if it did. The hospital, the detectives, the rape crisis center. Getting that evil building condemned, relocating them in our duplex, finding bedbug-free furniture for Terry and Tanya, finding helpers for the move itself. The girl's bad behavior as our houseguest, her mother's worse behavior as a parent. The questions, the doubts -- the guilt for questioning and doubting. And then, as if piling on, the quick meltdown of a promising young man we've lavished with attention and opportunity for the past seven months, and the crude suicide attempt of a troubled young woman whose phone call for help I failed to return the day before.
What does matter, I think, is the way all those things have been eating away at expectations of goodness and order I didn't even know I had. It's been awhile since I believed everything happens for a reason, according to some grand plan, but evidently I've hung onto the notion that love always makes some kind of difference, even in the midst of chaos. Even that somewhat less-ambitious worldview, however, seems to be no match for just this one little neighborhood, let alone the world itself.
It isn't the suffering here that's getting to me, but rather my neighbors' dull, matter-of-fact attitude about it. Tanya hasn't been fazed much by her rape, her counselor tells me, because she always expected to be hurt that way sooner or later. After all, her mom was raped three times as a girl, receiving no follow-up care or counsel, which may explain why she can offer so little now in terms of emotional support. The meltdown guy? He walked away because we called him on a lie and it never occurred to him that we might just forgive him. The girl who tried to kill herself? She lives in Terry's condemned building and has nowhere to go with five children under the age of 10. One missed call was all it took to convince her nobody cares enough to help.
It seems to me that these are the poorest of the poor in spirit, the ones who hope for next to nothing. To survive in a place like this, some people learn to live almost completely in the moment. They know better than to expect any ongoing goodness or order. They keep no faith. We have come to love them, but the longer we're at it the more I am haunted by the fear that nothing – not even love – may be strong enough. I can celebrate the ways our intentional generosity touches some of our neighbors, but I can't ignore the fact that both their natural hopelessness and the dysfunctions that inspire it are quite capable of breaking us. Or at least of breaking me.
If that happens, however, it won't mean I was wrong about Grace, but only that I overreached my limits. And if it doesn't happen, it won't mean that love always makes a difference, even in the midst of chaos, but only that I managed to keep the faith.
That's all I'm hoping for now, for starters at least.
Bart Campolo is a veteran urban minister and activist who speaks, writes, and blogs (www.bartcampolo.com) about grace, faith, loving relationships, and social justice. Bart is the leader of The Walnut Hills Fellowship (www.thewalnuthillsfellowship.org) in inner-city Cincinnati. He is also founder of Mission Year (www.missionyear.org), which recruits committed young adults to live and work among the poor in inner-city neighborhoods across the USA, and executive director of EAPE, which develops and supports innovative, cost-effective mission projects around the world.
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Comments
A good and honest post, Bart. I also work with troubled people, and I know all too well how discouraging it can get. "Keeping the faith" amounts to continuing to do whatever you can, even remembering all the times it seemed to do no good.
Posted by: Gordon | April 11, 2008 12:40 PM
When generosity and kindness are not properly accepted by the recipient, what more can you do but move on to the next person to offer your help. Lord knows there are plenty out there who need a helping hand. But it's like the old idiom, "throwing good money after bad". After awhile, you just can't continue to invest in people who are either incapable or unwilling to better themselves. It's sad, but to do so brings down the giver to the point where he/she can't do it anymore. It's just too depressing. Bart, here's hoping you bounce back from this latest disappointment.
Posted by: Cads | April 11, 2008 12:59 PM
Posted by: Cads | April 11, 2008 12:59 PM
"throwing good money after bad"
To quote Larry the Cable Guy - 'you can't fix stupid'. You have to move on and work with those who want and appreciate your assistance. I have seen this done by several organizations that I support - feeling hurt when it happens but understanding that they work with these people day in and day out and know what is going on. (how do you eat an elephant - one bite at a time) So I will continue to work behind the scenes so that the professionals can do their work.
Blessings Bart -
Blessings to all -
.
Posted by: Moderatelad | April 11, 2008 1:36 PM
Thanks for articulating ghosts that haunt my heart.
Posted by: eric Blauer | April 11, 2008 1:53 PM
Bart,
sounds like you're really down, with good reason. I will be praying for you and your community.
Posted by: carl copas | April 11, 2008 2:12 PM
"There is always the danger that we may just do the work for the sake of the work. This is where the respect and the love and the devotion come in - that we do it to God, to Christ, and that's why we try to do it as beautifully as possible."
Mother Teresa
It's easier to say than to do yet we must continue to remember always that our care, our actions, our love, and concern is directed toward Christ each time we open our hearts, our wallets, our homes, our lives.
Through Bart's honesty about his weariness I am yet strengthened simply by being reminded that there are still many more good people such as he in the world.
Posted by: d.e.sharp | April 11, 2008 2:31 PM
Sounds like you're doing one of the hardest things: 'speaking the truth in love', ie telling it like it is and not giving up. You're in my prayers.
Posted by: Sarah Hall | April 11, 2008 2:32 PM
Just to let you know, Bart, that Iv'e said a prayer for you personally and added you to my prayer list. May He send something/someone to remind you and to make it real to you that in those haviest, darkest times, He will pick us up and carry us, because He KNOWS. That's why, ollking back, we sometimes see only one set of prints, you know. I love you. Keep the faith. RHT
Posted by: RHT | April 11, 2008 2:55 PM
My daughter, who is a mental health nurse here in the UK, was called this week to do an assessment on an 18 year old Iraqui Asylum seeker who had attempted suicide. His father has been killed by Coalition forces (collateral damage), his 15 year old sister has just died in Iraq. His Iraqui name has been anglified to "Jack" because it's easier for supposedly professional staff to pronounce. What has the gospel to offer to this suffering adolescent?
As a Health Professional myself I have been involved with a Child Protection case this week. The baby will shortly be returned to its very damaged and incapable 17 year old parents. I have little hope for a positive outcome and wonder what I can do as a Christian to effect any change. Prayer seems so ineffective in these situations.
Posted by: Florence | April 11, 2008 3:01 PM
Bart,
Thanks for contributing this. You've taken on a tough task, and it may be that years pass before it bears fruit, but the work you are trying to do is fundamentally Christian. At the same time you face a type of challenge that the church in the US hasn't done faced for quite a while, and to some extent has forgotten how to do.
Unfortunately that makes your work kind of experimental. There are bound to be failures. But as you find things that work, and I think you will over time, more people will follow the example you set.
I guess what I'm saying is don't be too hard on yourself.
Wolverine
Posted by: Wolverine | April 11, 2008 3:24 PM
Bart --
Do not grow weary or lose heart. You are helping a very bad situation. It just seems like what you are doing is too small. Terry and Tanya won't know what you gave them until they are out of the bad place for a while. Then one day they may realize that they aren't as afraid as they had been for so long.
Healthy life changes never happen overnight for me. I often wonder if I ever learn from my mistakes, but over the long haul, I can say that I have. Do I need for people to love me still, just as I am? Heck yes. I'd never get there without people loving me here.
Posted by: frankie | April 11, 2008 3:31 PM
Bart,
I have been in your situation more than I like to count. Quite honestly I am no longer in it and I am loving it. I need a break. But and this is a big but I can't help but think that this is part of your growing process. It's what dying to oneself is. Dealing with rape is difficult and with a mom like that even harder.
You are hearing from the spirit and so the only advice I can give is listen to Him and he will guide you wherever you need to go.
p
Posted by: Payshun | April 11, 2008 3:42 PM
We do ourselves and the Trinity a disservice when we forget or ignore the fact that Satan and Mammon are active in the world. They are working to destroy our faith while they work to tear down the world. We may have all of the gifts necessary to make the world better inside of us already because of God's grace, but we are still human and therefore subject to frailties. That doesn't make us any less than imperfect. Remember, what makes us different from everyone else who is imperfect is that we are FORGIVEN.
So, KEEP THE FAITH!!!
Posted by: Creed Pogue | April 11, 2008 4:43 PM
Bart,
Thank you for reminding the world that most of us are naive, sheltered, overly comfortable, and virtually oblivious to the real pain that countless people live in on a daily basis. I wish more ministers and "simple answer- Christians" would have to walk in your shoes for a period of time so they could find the beauty of humility, which is only truly found through the experience of realizing one's limitations of control and understanding.
Regarding your influence, you have chosen a way that is more challenging than most would ever choose for themselves, but perhaps it will be helpful to remember that there is the surface of things and there is the internal, which we cannot see and often do not remember to consider. We must actively try to remember that this is the world of Spirit, which is beyond the external "success" and results of things. Your love will not always result in what the world would call successful change, but it makes a difference.
I have seen firsthand the pain of sexual assault and the misery it can cause, and I have long wished for more Christian "voices" to be more careful with their simple answers and simplistic declarations.
Bless you and those children of God you serve who know not what they do and know not hope. From despair to hope is a life-changing leap even if the surface will not appear different.
Aaron B
Posted by: Aaron | April 11, 2008 5:09 PM
Bart, as cliche' as this might sound: God does not call any of us to be successful. He calls us to be FAITHFUL. This may be a lesson in humility; that anything "good" we hope to acheive is always because of Christ in us. God is always in control; Him alone. See the face of Jesus beyond the human visages: ".....you have done it unto me." God's grace go with you.
Posted by: Linda Trost | April 11, 2008 5:57 PM
Friends, I have come to the conclusion that God not only doesn't sometimes get His way in this world and its systems, but actually - - He quite often doesn't get His way. Much of the time, because of a confluence of all kinds of malignancy, calumny, and mayhem, some of it caused by us as community, some of it brought upon ourselves as individuals, and some of it just the result of the natural chaos that exists in nature, contrary to God's original order-- we find things in this world that God would not have here, if He had His way.
But He doesn't have his way, always, primarily because we humans intentionally interfere, somehow. Or we err, and go off on some tangent, and find ourselves causing yet more mayhem.
But the Last Word has yet to be spoken. And when It is spoken, we are assured that It will be the Living God Who speaks It. Until then, those who name the Name of Christ need to keep on with the work of calling people to Him, caring, feeding, healing, touching, doing all the things that our Teacher and Savior showed us by doing them Himself. The Last Word is coming.
Indeed - - it is Friday, but Sunday is a-comin'.
Posted by: joekc | April 11, 2008 7:49 PM
Bart: Being incarnational isn't about "success". Kudos to you and your community for daily and openly confronting and defeating the "Spirit of the Age"-triumphalism.
Pastor Jeff
Posted by: Pastor Jeff Staples | April 12, 2008 9:05 AM
Bart, may the Lord bless and encourage you as you are faithful in your work. Accept the grace He gives you in that you aren't perfectly meeting others' needs (and maybe can't), but He is still with you to guide you.
I help administer a non-profit coalition of 14 churches' benevolence for our county and United Way. The life choices others make can be amazing and discouraging. It is hard when I seem to care more about an individual's situation than he or she does. I have to remind myself that "this is HER problem" and I can only go so far to help solve it.
You are in the trenches where the Church should be. Thank you for your continued faithfulness.
Nance
Posted by: Nance | April 12, 2008 12:36 PM
i understand your darkness...i have come to the realization that they really is no plan, but according to "free will" it is what LIFE does to us and what we do with that that makes us Godly people. don't you think?
Posted by: cindi | April 13, 2008 9:54 PM
Creed Pogue,
I was appreciating your post very much until the last sentence, or more accurately, part of the last sentence. Keep the first word and the last three words and it would be a perfect ending.
God forgives all of us sinners.
Posted by: I and I | April 13, 2008 10:00 PM
I respect the fact that you are living within the tensions of life's messiness without trying to explain it with any simplistic, lazy theology.
This posting sounds kind of like a lament Psalm. Honestly hopeless while still in the knowledge that somewhere around the edges, or in the middle or all around it all, God is still here.
timmah
Posted by: timmah | April 14, 2008 12:31 PM
Bart --
In thinking more about this -- just remember -- your kids may never understand why you make them eat their vegetables, but that doesn't mean you aren't doing the right thing by making them eat them.
Parenting doesn't often feel good either -- and it is very draining. Society desperately needs us to be good parents. And so we love and care for the poor for the same reasons.
Posted by: frankie | April 14, 2008 12:34 PM
This is for Jim: Kayrene and I thoroly enjoyed your talk at Wheaton College a couple of weeks ago. Tho a Catholic, I have nothing but the highest respect for that school. Lotta people were there that night lots of questions, excellent answere. I can tell that you have played this game once or twice.
We are in a well-organized group process called JustFaith. We are painfully exposed to the type of issues you deal with -- poverty, hunger, immigration, mountain-top rape, etc. My heart has been moved. I am looking for another minisrry. Karene has landed on corresponding with prisoners.
Peace, Donn Anderson
Posted by: Donn Anderson | April 14, 2008 1:37 PM
Blessings Bart -
My son will be graduating college this year and the plan is to go to Seminary this fall. When he first started college - he was considering working at an inner city church. As he has worked with several in the Chicago area - he has changed his mind. He now wants to work with a church in the suburbs that understands that there is another world out there and come along side an inner city church and help to make things happen. He knows that there are congregations out there that need a lot of help and cannot finance all the ministry needed in their area out of their offering plates. He wants to have kids from the burbs work with kids from the inner city minister to the people in their community. He knows that type of ministry is just as important as sending the kids in the burbs to a country across the pond. Send the people in Central America the money you would spend on airline tickets and let them hire locals and improve the local ecconomy.
Blessings -
.
Posted by: Moderatelad | April 16, 2008 1:55 PM
YOUR WORDS ARE A LIGHT IN A VERY DARK WORLD. last night my orthodox priest said if we take the path of humility we'll see Jesus ahead of us, leading the way ... if we take the path of righteous zeal we'll see Jesus behind us, giving us courage ... if we take the path of compassion and love, Jesus walks beside us ... hand-in-hand. KEEP THE FAITH. I TOO ... TRY.
Posted by: marilyn seven | April 17, 2008 8:27 PM
For me, the phrase, "THERE, but for the grace of God, go I...." resonates with your words. I believe our portion of Hope is truly just that...a glimpse of the Hope that our Christ and Creator and Spirit continually breathe upon all Creation. The human "knowledge" of social conditions, human activities that tear down, ruin, murder the future of just one of the Children of Heaven often leaves the gaping void of emotional immobility. May we be in praise for the Baptism, the Communion, the Anointing that washes and binds our wounds so that we may, in turn, continue to carry the lost, the abandoned, the violated, the forgotten.
Bart, I carry you and our fellow Hope Bearers in my heart.
Posted by: Madeleine Breen | April 19, 2008 7:00 AM
Ugh! I have to wonder why every post by Bart is a grocery list of all the great things he does and all the ways the people around him disappoint. His whiny, self righteous writings at the very least cause me much eye-rolling. What a naive person. I can only guess that Bart enjoys a secure family life, always has, and is utterly clueless to the community he serves. When a person has a difficult family life, emotional instability, ecomonic woes, lack of education and mobility and his/her family has suffered these things for generations there is not much a brittle outsider can do. Buck up. Meditate on humility. You have no cause to whine in the middle of this suffering you conveniently stand outside of. I can only pray that your heart will be blown open and deepened and you will find real compassion and not muddle around in self pity. Do what you do for the sake of doing. You are not wise enought to know what will happen down the road.
Posted by: DG | April 19, 2008 12:53 PM
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