The Christian community was shocked recently when Christian recording artist Ray Boltz come out of the closet and announced that he was gay. The world was much less shocked when recording star Clay Aiken made the same announcement, but was puzzled by his assertion that he's a Christian.
Christian recording artist Brian Bates has something to say about both announcements.
Bates grew up in a Christian home, accepted Jesus as his Saviour, and then in college, walked away from God to lead a partying, gay lifestyle.
Brian says it was a friend named Julie who helped him turn his life around. "Julie loved like Jesus. We did not agree on the gay issue, but her kindness and compassion really affected me. The Bible says it's God's kindness that leads to repentance. That's so important to remember, and is the proper response to this issue I believe. I didn't forsake a gay identity because I was afraid of going to hell. I did so because I fell in love with a God that I could trust. That is absolutely my story."
Brian recently penned an essay with his thoughts on Christianity, homosexuality, and God's love. I wanted to share it with you because readers have been sharing their thoughts on Ray Boltz, in particular. (Note: this is not exclusive to Beliefnet, but it was so important I wanted to share it in its entirety.)
Ray & Clay are Gay: How I Would Respond
by singer/songwriter Brian Bates
Two prominent artists, Ray Boltz and Clay Aiken, "came out of the closet" recently. Given my background and passion on the subject, I've had several inquiries recently asking me how I would respond and what I would say to them. I offer these suggestions:
-- I'd sit down with them, having left my agenda at home
-- I'd tell them my favorite songs of theirs
-- I'd get to know them
-- I'd ask them about their journey with God
-- I'd share mine
If it was still going well at this point, then:
-- I'd compare notes about how we arrived at different conclusions of God's take on our
sexuality
-- I'd ask if they have truly submitted their sexuality to God, like I've had to do, like we all
should do
-- I'd agree to disagree
A few magazines featured me recently, asking me to give their young readers some "tips" on how to respond to the gay issue. That seems to be the big question I always get: "How do I respond to homosexuality?" To that I say - focus on the person more than the issue.
If you know someone who lives a homosexual lifestyle, it helps to determine how they describe themselves. Do they say they are "gay?" Or do they call it a "struggle?" That helps to know how to respond. Either way, if you know someone who struggles with their gender identity...
--Don't debate. Put aside an argumentative spirit and any need to be right. That doesn't win people's trust.
--Don't be a know-it-all. Be a good listener. Learn. Get in their shoes the best you can.
--Focus on spirituality not sexuality. We all need and desire a relationship with God. Bottom-line.
--Be kind. "It's God's kindness that leads to repentance." Let people experience the kindness of God through you. Let God take care of the convicting part, in His timing.
--Be honest. Don't act like you have it all together. Tell them about your own struggles and uncertainties. That helps others open up.
--Be a friend. Invite them to stuff, have fun, earn trust over time. Don't treat anyone like a charity case.
--Meet their needs. If homosexuality is truly about what I believe it is--legit same-sex needs simply being met in the wrong way--then you can be a part of meeting those needs in the right way. Cool huh?
--If you're not sure...WWJD? Study the Gospels. Watch Jesus' life and how he dealt with people, both the "in crowd" (religious people) and the "out crowd" (sick people, outcasts, etc). Live like that.
Anyone who knows me and my life story knows that I am not soft on this issue. I have a traditional biblical perspective on homosexuality, believing it is not God's intent or design and therefore homosexual behavior is sin. And if you know my story, you also know my turnaround started with the relentless compassion of a Christian friend. She put aside the moral debate and appealed to my need for God. That turned my heart towards home, back to a loving Father that I could trust enough to rethink my sexuality and take my narrow path. After all, it is God's kindness that leads to repentance.
I want to thank Brian for being so honest and for reminding me, at least, that speaking the truth about God's word can (and should always) be done in love. A recent chat with Jeremy Camp, which I'll share next week, also helped me understand that I can be firm in my beliefs but still show love. I've always had a very compassionate attitude towards gays but am so sick and tired of the "Sodom and Gomorrah" mindset I see from most Christians that I wondered if I was the only one. I'm glad to see a loving but truthful and uncompromising example, and to see how that actually can change a life. But enough about me ...
For more about Brian Bates, visit his website. Brian's latest project, World's Collide, is in stores now.
RELATED POSTS
CCM veteran Ray Boltz comes out of the closet and confesses he's gay
Shocker! Clay Aiken comes out of the closet
Check out the Joanne Brokaw's "Christian Music Year In Review," a look back at the stories you were talking about on the Gospel Soundcheck blog.
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There are many gay christians who do not identify with mainstream gay culture and lifestyle, but to be honest with themselves, their family, their friends, and their god, they choose to be honest about their sexual attraction and orientation.
There are many gay christians who do not identify with mainstream christian culture and lifestyle, but to be honest with themselves, their family, their friends, and their god, they choose to be honest about their faith.
I do not claim to completely understand the ways of god, but I think when it comes down to it, god sees us as individuals and not as a member of certain groups and I think that is how we are called to see and treat others as well.
listen being a Homosexual is not an issue with God, It is an issue with some of mankind people who are homophobic and call it God or the Lord will pay for the evil hurt and harm they have done spiritualy and emotionaly and phisicaly so get ready God most certainly is. And ferthermore it is time to stop lieing and take responsibility God is sick of it and so am I. My name is Timothy Trotter and this blog tells me that someone is a lier. moving on I am 21 years of age I am a saved educated gay Christian I don't party I don't drink and ferthermore I don't do drugs I have submitted my sexual oreintation to God numerous times still gay some of ya Chistians have fogotten what God taught and your letting the devil use you and should be ashamed stop judging people it is not your job my mother and my grandmother have known that I was gay since I was 2 years old. the Bible does not declare that is it is a sin to be gay. To think that over a period of 2000 years of wars, likes , dislikes and so much more that many did not add things to the bible is sinceless. A man said that it was a sin to be a homosexual the word homosexual was not even placed into the bible until the 19th centery and alot of terrible things went on befor that time and after and alot of it was said to be inspired by God however every thing isn't of God homophobia is one out of many. Stop blame your shrot commings on a sexual orientatin that was now and until the day you die apointed by God that is a lie take responsibility Corenthians 1-6 is a scripture that has been miscomunicated Paul was talking to straght men engaging with other men sexualy inorprpriately and told them if they did not seas this behavior that they would not inherit the kingdom of heaven try and change it if you dare that is the truth Paul was not talking to gay men. Homophobia came from a word called patriarcy wich is a hatred for women or any thing feminent any thing the devil does not change he just aproaches things a little different God said to love Him and to love our nehbor as we love our selves people who practice homophobic Christianity have a crappy way of showing the love of Jesus good luck passing into Heaven because you wont that is not Jesus if you act that way that is not Jesus it is the devil. I say it all the time if being gay is such a sin an abomination then why didn,t Jesus who was God in the flesh condemn it He was God in the flesh someone is a lier and it is not God He said in his own words I am not a man that I should lie nor the son of man that I should repent. Being gay is not a drug and alcahol problem it is a healthy sexual orientation given to some of His people stop lieing Revilations 21-8 read it if you are a lier get ready for the weeny roast Brian Bates you are a lier and you need to be mor supportive of your gay brothers and sisters in Christ and I don't believe that you ever where gay because you would still be gay is not an on and off switch how dare you just take responsibility I won't let you or other Christians like keep on making God out to be a selfish vandictiv monser a sindacit. You should be ashamed of your self God can forgive you but it will take me a while to and you call your self a Christian get educated so you dont hurt people I love you and you are very hansome God bless you and prosper you and your family!!
Wow! I didn't realize that my comment would strike such an uprising. To write all the reasons why I believe that I "CAN" be gay and christian on this blog would take forever. Ultimately, I am secure in who I am and really don't feel the need to prove myself to mainstream christians who have it in the heads to hate me anyway.
No, I do not believe that Jesus was gay... just because I am doesn't mean that everyone else in the bible has to be. There are some relationships that are, but who really cares. Jesus came to live, and die on a cross for us... all out of love. Why can't we walk in the same love? It seems there are people who are willing to get violent just because I believe a certain way.
As for games, I'm not here to play, just live the life that Christ ordained for me. Nothing less. Well that's all I have to say. Peace, love and hair grease...
=Carlos
Actually, the Bible was not silent on the issue of homosexuality. When scripture says that men should not lie down with other men as they do women, I think it is pretty clear what that means. Also when women are cautioned not to have unnatural passions or both men and women are told they should not have sexual relations except in a marital relationship (and marriage in the scriptures is defined as between one man and one woman), again it seems clear what is being said.
It is human nature to cling to our sins. But it is not healthy and it is wrong to ignore what God's word says on any subject.
Let us all agree to surrender more and more to the Lord and if our hearts are open He will lead us to His truth.
Brian,
Thanks for a great video and the awesome message within it. As a fellow Little Giant and Pebworth alum, I'm truly impressed by your work and lifepath.
Congrads and best wishes to you.
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