I've been following the internet chatter all week about BeBe Winans' recent appearance on Oprah and the comments made by BeBe's wife Debbie, questioning Oprah's double standard about domestic abuse.
BeBe Winans was arrested last February on domestic abuse charges when he allegedly assaulted his ex-wife Debbie by shoving her to the ground during an argument. Winans will appear in court again in January to face the charges.
Oprah has been outspoken against domestic abuse in the Rihanna/Chris Brown assault case, and yet recently had BeBe Winans on her show with sister CeCe in support of their new album, Still. BeBe was scheduled to also appear on Oprah as a judge in her Karaoke Challenge.
The arrest is old news. The chatter all week has been about a comment from Debbie Winans, who called Oprah out as a moral hypocrite for having her ex-husband on the show while also condemning domestic abuse in the Rhianna/Chris Brown story.
Oprah apparently agreed, and has banned BeBe Winans from her show. A spokesperson frm her show told the website TMZ, "BeBe will not be appearing on the 'Oprah' show until his legal matters are resolved in court."
It's been suggested more than once this week that I cover the story, but I've held back. I'm not a fan of just writing a post to garner page views; it's more important that I have something to actually say about it, and I've been thinking about what it is that I want to say.
And now I know:
Everyone has been quick to point fingers at Oprah for her moral hypocrisy, and with good reason. She was right to ban Winans from the show until his case is resolved.
But what about Christian music fans? The gospel star was arrested in February for allegedly shoving his ex-wife to the ground during an argument, and yet his new album, Still, is the #1 Gospel album in the nation. It's at #5 R&B/Hip Hop chart and the Independent chart, and #24 on the Billboard Top 200.
We as Christians are quick to teach our kids that when they buy mainstream music they're supporting the lifestyles of the artists. Do we do the same in Christian music? If you wouldn't let your kids spend money on an artist who, let's say is a known drug user because it's like supporting their lifestyle, are you also willing to do the same? Remember, when it comes to entertainment, we vote with our dollars.
I'm often confused by the way that Christian music fans respond to stories like this. When Ray Boltz came out of the closet, some of my readers were very strong in their condemnation of his behavior and the belief that they needed to get rid of all of their pre-out-of-the-closet Ray Boltz CDs. When Michael Gugliemucci admitted to faking cancer for two years and basically preying on the kindess of fans to accept donations for his "treatment" (later found out to be a porn addiction), Christian music fans blasted me for calling him out and told me to forgive him.
So how should the Christian and gospel music community respond to a situation like this? Does the Christian community have a double standard?
RELATED POST
BeBe and CeCe Winans appear on Oprah
Gospel Star Bebe Winans Arrested For Domestic Assault Against Ex-Wife
Michael Guglielmucci talks about worshipping God and dealing with "cancer" on Hillsong DVD
Planetshakers Michael Guglielmucci admits porn addiction, faking cancer
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I hope this helps others in a similar situation http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b3ujgzwEuIg
There is always two sides to a story. I hope none of you will ever be accused of something because the last time I checked in this country you are supposed to be innocent until proven guilty. Oh! Except when it comes to the media. Why don't you read what Mr.Winans lawyer had to say:
NASHVILLE, TN (March 15, 2009) – Lisa Binder, legal counsel for gospel superstar BeBe Winans and a member of Neal & Harwell, PLC has released the following statement in response to recent allegations of assault against her client:
“In response to Mrs. Winan’s recent statements to the media, the public should also know that on March 11, 2009, Judge Carol Soloman issued an Order of Protection in favor of BeBe Winans against Debra Winans arising out of the incident which occurred on Feb. 13th. Judge Soloman specifically stated from the bench (and in her order) that Debra Winans was “not found to be a credible witness.” Mrs. Winans has been unsuccessful in repeated attempts to interfere with Mr. Winan’s visitation with his children and there is a Criminal Contempt Proceeding pending against her in Williamson County, the arena in which these custody disputes should and will be tried. It is unfortunate that Mrs. Winans has now chosen to attack her children’s father on television. Mr. Winans will not participate in any public display that may affect his children’s well being, but will instead use through the proper judicial channels to insure that his rights as a father are protected.”
If I were ever to get married again I would pick up a sinner woman over these so called christians. I have a daughter who I have not seen in over a year. Why? Because her mom who is a so called never miss church, witha bad attitude interferes with my right as a father. To avoid placing myself in a BEBE situation to be falsely accused, I just send the check and avoid them.
People have differences and they break up, however even Christia women act carnal when it comes to custody issues. They generally have the same erratic violent nature as unsaved, wanna , slap, cuss, carry on and blame "womens issues".
Why would this woman place impediments in the way of a Man with a strong family structure having access to a 10 and 13 year old. If they have broken up since 2003 why is this still an issue. Furthermore why is she biting the hand that pays child support by bad mouthing him?
Of course abuse will be rained my way, I will be told I have "Issues", "Blah Blah", but I have learned not to study useless criticism. Men stay away from these politically correct pretenders who are really no different than any sinner you meet in teh street. Get yourself together, be noble, kind, do the right thing. I know some say I am this that I got myself together, you try being a real man as "God calls you to be" and see the fallout.
Divorced 6 years and you never heard a peep out of her and all of a sudden she is an abuse victim. I am telling you I been there and if I want to leave and you block the door, its "Move get out the way" For all you holy rollers its Ludacris. I see one woman in here advocating that somehow women have a right to hit men etc and even in trying to get out of teh way he cannot more her arm. What nonsense.
Well people, I think that this is one story that needs to be put out of its misery!! I am a survivor of Domestic Violence and I am outraged that Deborah has gone this far with this farce!! I am angry and I am extremely angry with Oprah for not looking into the details before making a decision about allowing BeBe to appear on her show. While some people may feel that Oprah did right by not letting BeBe appear until this mess is cleared up, I feel that his support against domestic violence should have been a sign that "maybe...just maybe" this story is not as open and shut as Deborah has put it!
I will be the first one to advocate for those being abused, but to cry wolf when one isn't there only brings shame to herself and it even puts her life lies in the street, let alone what it will do to the children. What she fails to realize is that the public will not only judge BeBe, but her as well. If Deborah was using her brain, she would realize that she has damaged her children and their relationship with their dad. It saddens me to think that Deborah would be so vindictive over the fact that her ex-husband is trying to help raise awareness for those men and women who can not see a way out. If you look at this very carefully, BeBe just may be the abused victim...not the other way around!!! I pray God's immediate blessing on this situation and I hope that this ends soon and without the children being hurt in the end!
if he is guilty of that and you weren't there to witness it, then you are guilty of judging! these so called saints and christians keep up so much mess and that is the reason I won't fool with them. you'd have an easier relationship with a bar room brawler than one of these people. now you get on the internet and encourage others to judge someone and none of us were there to witness a d.... thing. oddly there is no mention in this report of her part in this matter. there is more than one side to a story and the one that gets on the internet first is not always right. why not make sure that you are saved and sin free and when you get through with that you will not have time to be online judging and spreading hate and teaching others to do what jesus said to not do. can you say hypocrite?
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