Happiness…How To Be Happier No Matter What

Happiness starts with self-love. I have found the more we love ourselves, and truly embrace ourselves as the perfect, whole and creative beings we are – others will return that love. It was an “Ah-ha” moment for me when I realized that everyone in my life is merely a mirror of my consciousness. They can only be as loving, respectful and good to me as I am to myself. I know this may sound like metaphysical “woo-woo” but trust me it is real.

Think about your own life. When you weren’t being so kind to yourself – perhaps you were “beating yourself up” for a mistake rather than forgiving yourself, or thinking “I am not good enough” for something rather than seeing your true worth, I bet others didn’t treat you so good either. I have discovered they are merely reflecting back to us how we feel.

The good news is about this insight is that we can learn to love ourselves more, accept ourselves fully (human imperfections and all) and practice more self-love on our path to a happier life. As I have personally learned to take much better care of myself, people treat me better, and as I accept myself unconditionally – others do that too.

So here are my 3 Simple Suggestions to begin a lifelong practice of self-love:

• Love Yourself – I know so many of us lead busy lives but I have found the more we do something just for us each day – the better our lives get. It may be a short meditation, morning prayer, pedicure, massage, golf outing or lunch with friends – what it is doesn’t matter as much as it feeds your soul, recharges you and helps you remember yourself as the great person you are. (Shopping to look good counts too – whether it’s Bloomingdales or a great consignment store, it all counts!)

One book that I have also loved that really underscored this point was Cheryl Richardson’s, Take Time for Your Life, and also I love Louise Hay’s book, I Can Do It (with audio for the car).

• Get Inspired – Over the years, I have learned that if I connect with the people, places and things that inspire me — I can overcome challenges, and love myself more. Just yesterday, I was listening to Rose Rock, author of Mama Rocks Rules, speak about how to overcome challenges and raise positive and productive kids today (She is mother of 10 children, and 17 foster children — including Chris Rock). I was particularly touched when she told us: “Blessings are only good when you pass them on.”

So do something that inspires you and your greatness. It may be going for a walk in nature, feeding the birds in your backyard or listening to a truly empowering song – whatever it is fill yourself up with “something greater” and also pass it on.

• Express Yourself – With all of this radical self-care, and inspiration — creative expression so clearly comes next. I know that within everyone there are gifts to be given to this world whether it is making a wonderful key lime pie (YUM!), creating a wonderful garden patch, being a Professor of mathematics or painting a masterpiece. The list of possibilities is endless.
One thing I know for sure is the more time we give ourselves to create, express our unique talents and really give to the world what is ours to give — we feel happier, and are learning to love every part of ourselves!

By Maureen Healy

Maureen Healy is an author, speaker, and expert on the topic of happiness. Her latest book, Growing Happy Kids: How to Foster Inner Confidence, Success and Happiness, is available wherever books are sold. She also writes for Psychology Today and PBS. More info: www.growinghappykids.com and @mdhealy

Brightening your space brings happiness. I am amazed at how “little” things like fresh photos, handpicked flowers, special incense and a good cleaning can energetically clear old, stuck (and often negative) energies. So in my everyday path of nurturing a deeper sense of peace and ultimately, happiness into my life – I have found that surrounding myself with things of beauty, love and truth call forward a sense of everyday contentment.

Since this blog is about how YOU can become happier too, here I share some simple suggestions that can make a big difference:

Clear Your Space – By removing stacks of old bills, “dust bunnies” in the corner and de-cluttering your space allows old energy to leave. You are creating the physical and energetic space for new and happier things to move in. Using Feng Shui, the ancient art of placement, to also call forward what you uniquely want whether it is more money, a better relationship, a job that perfectly suits your unique talents or something else. One book that I love on that topic is Feng Shui Your Life by Jayme Barrett, which really helped me optimize my living area resulting in a greater feeling of joy.

Enhance – Use plants, soothing sounds, crystals, wind chimes, and other energizers of space to lift your spirits. One thing that makes me happier is also to fill the birdfeeders outside my office, and hear the positive (and thankful) chirps all day long. This is a really inexpensive thing for me to do (like $3.00 a bag a birdfeed) and it helps create a feeling within me of love, and appreciation for all of life every day.

So ask yourself: What can I do today to lift my spirits? Listen to your inner voice, and allow yourself to do something just for you today. It may be getting some fresh flowers, candles or new tunes to bolster your mood.

Add Happy Images – Our mind “goes to that place” it has been when it sees photos of ourselves when we were happy. So the idea is to display images that make you feel happy whether it was when you traveled to Europe for the first time, and there you are at the Eiffel Tower smiling away or when you met your granddaughter for the very first time.

Feeling happier happens quicker when one is surrounded by photos, images and pictures that remind us of how happy we’ve been. Take a look around the room you are in and ask yourself: Are there any happy photos of me here? If not, I suggest you add one and see how it makes you feel. Or at least add a photo of someone else that brings a smile to your face!

By Maureen Healy

Maureen Healy is a practicing emotional health expert with more than 20 years of global experience. Her new book, Growing Happy Kids: How to Foster Inner Confidence, Success and Happiness, is available wherever books are sold. More Info: www.growinghappykids.com

Happiness means learning how to let-go. It may be letting go of a relationship that didn’t work, or career that isn’t panning out. Sometimes we find ourselves hanging on for dear life and when the truth is that it is only in the miracle of letting-go that things can change. I speak from experience. I have done the normal human dance of hanging on to something or someone so tight that we miss other opportunities for real happiness.

But with time, I have learned how to genuinely move through life with more ease. I take lessons from all of these caterpillars around that have to let-go of their hairy bodies to become the beautiful butterflies they are destined to become. Yes, it’s a little corny analogy but it’s true for me – and true for you.

So today, I am sharing 5 Happiness Tips around Letting Go:

1. Practice non-attachment. Buddhists believe that by holding something so tightly and being attached to a person, place, outcome – this causes suffering. Think about your own life. Ever want a piece of jewelry you lost? You agonized over finding it. Or had a relationship or partner that you dearly loved but somehow it didn’t work out. This was true heartbreak.

So by being attached to people, places or things we cause our own pain — an antidote to that is practice being non-attached. This means enjoying life to its fullness but realizing that everything has a natural start and end. So when you enjoy your garden this summer you aren’t under the illusion it will be forever — you appreciate that it has its time to grow, flourish and then when winter comes it will likely be done.

The more we can extend this wisdom to other parts of our life, and learn how to be non-attached to experiences, outcomes, people and places – we become emotionally free, and happier.

2. Let-go, Let-God. In the recovery moment, they have a saying “Let Go, and Let God” which does have some profound wisdom. Instead of believing we are 100% in control – it is often smarter to do what it is ours to do, and let it go. Divine, Source or Spirit can then help create a solution to whatever challenge we are facing. Ever have the experience where you didn’t know how something was going to get fixed? Or done? And then you prayed and somehow a miraculous solution presented itself.

I remember being responsible to sell my mother’s home (she died in a car accident), and somehow the mortgage payments became high – and the house was in danger of being foreclosed upon so then I prayed. I believe in the power of prayer and angelic help. Before I knew it a buyer surfaced out of what felt like was thin air and boom – the house sold in a market that was rocky at best but it happened.

3. Donate, Give Away or Throw Out all that doesn’t work. One key part of creating the space for more goodies is to “let-go” all the things in your life that don’t work from the broken blender in the garage to the clothes you don’t wear. Either give things away, get them fixed or somehow get rid of them. Because all this “broken stuff” is blocking the energy of real happiness and by letting it go – you create the mental, and physical space for better things to move in. Think of it like “Feng Shui” for your best life.

Edwene Gaines, master prosperity teacher, shared with me that by fixing or letting go of the things that are broken we are create the way for more prosperity too!! And who doesn’t want more vibrant health, wealth, love and creative self-expression? I am certainly “on board” to accept all the good the universe has for me…

4. Care Less about what others think of YOU. Mother Teresa once said (I am paraphrasing) that everything is only between you and God. I agree. What others think of you is really none of your business. I certainly have had to learn this being in the “public eye” since they’ll be people who praise you, love you, give you awards and others will tear you down for being who you were born to be.

What I have come to learn is that what other people think really doesn’t matter and what Mother Teresa said is powerful. By doing your best every day, turning it all “over” to a higher power and then beginning again each fresh again with new enthusiasm and passion for what you were born to do — this is miracle producing.

5. Look Ahead (stop looking in the rearview mirror!!!). We have all done it and it hurts. We lost a job and we can’t stop thinking about it. The problem is by focusing on what went wrong with Mr. Pain in the Butt Boss, and not letting it go – we create more pain in our lives. Don’t get me wrong I often think challenges are great opportunities to see if there is something for us to learn (did we pick the wrong job? Wrong mate? Bad car choice?), and perhaps we can make a better choice in the future.

By obsessing about the past, what happened, what we think we did wrong or someone else “did wrong” we are giving our power away. It is really only when we are in the present — being completely here now where we get to consciously create a better life for ourselves and our families. So let’s do it. Let’s let go of anything worrying us and focus on solutions, possibilities and allowing for the miracle of our lives to happen in even bigger ways!

By Maureen Healy

Maureen Healy is the author of Growing Happy Kids: How to Foster Inner Confidence, Success and Happiness (HCI Books). She also continues to work directly with parents and kids around the country. More info: www.growinghappykids.com or @mdhealy

What I know for sure is that happiness can happen for anyone. I personally have traveled to the base of the Himalayas and studied with happiness masters so I could learn how to cultivate happiness — real, lasting happiness — in myself, and all the children that I have been fortunate enough to work with. Within me burns a deep wish to help all children become happier (and their parents, teachers and family members too) so they can live the life of their dreams.

It is from this place that I wrote my book, Growing Happy Kids: How to Foster Inner Confidence, Success and Happiness, that comes out next week (Tuesday, April 3rd). And in my journey of sharing this book, I also met another author, Katherine Jenkins, whose book releases the same date. Her book is titled, Lessons from the Monk I Married, published by Seal Press (More Info). Within the pages of this book, Katherine shares her personal journey to becoming happier.

With that said, I asked Katherine to write a guest blog today to share with all of you about her thoughts on happiness. Here it is:

Guest Blog by Katherine Jenkins:

What makes you happy? Is it your children? Your partner? Sinking your teeth into a piece of dark chocolate? Sitting on a white sandy beach looking out at crystal blue waters on a perfectly sunny day?

Now you might be thinking, “How could you not be happy?” when considering the list above. And I’d have to agree with you, to a degree. Rain has been in the forecast in Seattle for the entire month of March and all I can think about is Tuesday, when I head to sunny Santa Barbara for vacation. I might as well find some chocolate to sink my teeth into to double the pleasure on my way there!

But do all these things really bring us happiness? Lasting happiness? Will millions of dollars bring me more happiness than I already have?

Perhaps.

And I could certainly use more money to pay for all the things I want to do in my life. It would certainly provide me with a sense of security. Wouldn’t it? But what happens when I get everything I want and I still don’t feel happy? Why is it that some people have everything we could only dream of having and are still miserable?

There is so much stress in society these days. The world seems to be getting faster with all of the technology we have at our fingertips. We realize we can do more, so we add more to our plates. We want to have it all: a happy marriage/relationship, children, a good job, a nice car, a big house, a new this and a new that. We are so busy trying to get the next thing that we have to hire dog walkers, nannies, house cleaners, a masseuse, etc., etc. There’s no time for happiness. Think about your life right now. Have you heard yourself recently say, “If I just had _______ I’d be so happy!”

What happened to now? How do you feel right now? Because the truth is this:

Nothing on the outside can make us truly happy.

Everything on the outside is temporary. If you’re depending on something from the outside to make you happy, what happens when that person, place or thing is gone? What happens when that person, place, or thing doesn’t do what we want it to do or doesn’t live up to our expectations?

True happiness is a state of being that is unaffected by what happens outside. Some call this a feeling of “inner peace”. This feeling of “inner peace” happens when we clear a space and just be.

In that empty space of “just being,” we enter into the present moment. There is no past or future in this space. When we are truly here now, we are able to witness and accept things as they are. Everything is perfect as it is in each moment. As we learn to accept things as they are from moment to moment, we open up a space within us. We start to feel our breath, hear birds sing, feel our feet in our shoes walking on the earth, feel our fingers grip the steering wheel when we are driving, etc.

Many people live in fear of that empty space because there is so much garbage buried deep inside. We fear what we might see if we allow ourselves to just be. If we allow whatever is buried deep within to just come up (and we don’t try to bury it again when it does), we start to become free from it.

What makes us happy, I believe, depends on our inner state. It can never come from anything outside of us. Whatever pleasure we get from something outside, is temporary. If we have developed ourselves from the inside out (through meditation, yoga or just simply “being”) happiness becomes part of our nature and does not depend on the ever changing outside world.