It was real sadness that I listened to news of Governor Mark Sanford of South Carolina’s affair with a woman the press is referring to as, Maria. Sadness for many reasons. One because of how publicly betrayed his wife must feel. Two, a huge ache as a mom for her four boys but three, for the man himself. I would imagine that if he could turn back the pages of time, he would but that opportunity is never available to any of us. We must live with the choices we have made. There is something in us as humans that is fascinated by the failures of others. Perhaps we think by reviling them that we remove ourselves from the arena of the fallen, as if by judging their demons we exorcise our own. It is usually true that those who are the most vocal about a particular sin dance just a few steps ahead of it in their own lives. To me, this is not a time to judge or to condone. It is a time to get on our knees and ask for mercy and grace. Let’s pray for this family. Whatever the long-term outcome, they are all in pain. Let’s ask for mercy for ourselves that when we find ourselves confronted by moments that could detrimentally change our lives forever we will find God’s strength to walk away.
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posted June 29, 2009 at 3:54 pm
Jenny is such an example in all of this. Well said. Thanks for sharing. I posted on my blog for prayer for all of them. Right! God Bless.
posted June 29, 2009 at 4:14 pm
Sheila,
Thank you for these thoughts. When the news broke on this story, my heart broke, too. I made similar choices years ago that continue to weigh with heavy consequences. I hurt for Mrs. Sanford and their children – because I know the damage and the pain it will cause them. But I also hurt for Governor Sanford and Maria and the lingering shame and ache and even the losses that they must now live with. It’s easy to say “there but for the grace of God go I.” But truly, aren’t we all already “there”? Last time I checked there was only one perfect human in the history of history. And that was about 2000 years ago.
God’s grace is sufficient. Of course it is. But we live among men and women who are quick to offer condemnation instead of mercy. I’m not asking anyone to condone sin. But in our pursuit of Christ-likeness, shouldn’t “grace” be our primary language?
posted June 29, 2009 at 4:56 pm
I think it is a question of strength…as I mentioned in my post on the same. Thanks Sheila…
posted June 29, 2009 at 7:22 pm
BTW, I know this is a blog targeted to women, but I think men could learn a lot from your thoughts and readers’ comments. Hope it was okay that I stopped by to share a comment of my own. I did yell “man on floor” when entering the dorm. Is that still the proper protocol? Thanks for grace.
posted June 30, 2009 at 7:26 pm
Sheila,
I want “Steve” (and you) to know he is not the only guy here! I too enjoy your blog and your thoughts and the comments. Thanks so much for sharing with us!
posted July 1, 2009 at 10:17 am
I am going through this with my husband now. I know how awful she must feel, because I feel the same way. Betrayed, hurt and not respected, and mostly unloved, a feeling i never knew with him. I pray for the Governor’s family and for him, and hope that someone out there will pray for mine. I have no one to talk to, so i keep it all inside. I do not want our children to know. We have been married for 40 years, and believe me i am trying to forgive, so i will keep praying for him to wake up and come to his senses, and praying for me for my sanity, and the forgiveness God will give him. I figure if God can forgive him who am i not to. Since I love him with all of my heart. Thanks ahead of time for your prayers.
posted July 1, 2009 at 7:46 pm
sue–I will pray for you and your husband. It is easier for us to condemn that it is to forgive. May God be with you and your husband during this difficult time.
posted August 17, 2009 at 6:12 am
Ladies of all ages often ask me the question “How do I get my ex boyfriend back?” A psychologist friend of mine told me that she always replies to this question with the easy answer of, “just call him, and ask him out on another first date.