Today I received the news that a very brave, eight year old boy, Connor Cruse, lost his battle with cancer. As I read the message I wept. Although the family lives in our neighborhood, I have never met Connor, but I have seen his photographs and the wonderful things that his mother and father have written about him. His favorite color was green and he loved pizza and s’mores! As the mother of a boy I cannot imagine the pain of letting your child go and feeling so helpless to be able to make everything alright. His family describe him as a superhero not only because he loved watching those larger than life characters, but in truth he was one. The family did everything they could for Connor. They pursued every avenue of treatment that is currently available, but in the end, they had to say goodbye.
Therein lies the greatest mystery of faith, the gap between here and there. As Connor closed his eyes for the last time on this earth he opened them in the glorious presence of Jesus, but only his eyes saw that, not his parents or his brothers and sister. We are called to walk by faith and not by sight, but how we long for sight. So today, I ask you to pray for this family and as they walk out the next few days and weeks and months, and let’s look into the eyes of our children every single day and tell them that they are loved. Remember, too, that Jesus walks with us whether we are on this side of the river, and when we have found that it has taken us all the way home.
“I’m absolutely convinced that nothing–nothing living or dead, angelic or demonic, today or tomorrow, high or low, thinkable or unthinkable–absolutely nothing can get between us and God’s love because of the way that Jesus our Master has embraced us.” Romans 8:38-39 (The Message)
posted July 13, 2009 at 12:28 pm
Thank you Sheila. I so agree with your statement. I know you are following the updates of our dear Kate McRae. I attend her church and yesterday in class one of our Pastor’s reminded us of the outcome is in God’s hands. All things bring glory to him. Jesus is walking this journey with Kate, Aaron, Holly, Will and Olivia as well as so many others with them. God sees the big picture.
posted July 14, 2009 at 9:38 am
I lost My 18 year old daughter to Lupus almost 4 years ago! You are so correct, nothing is harder to do then let your child go to the other side while you remain here. Only God and his love can see you through it. I hope she finds a good Christian based support Group to help her when no one else understands. God sent me to Angel Touch only 3 weeks after he called my girl home. I will lift this family in prayer this week and I believe as long as they trust God they will too survive the worst thing that can ever happen to any parent!
God Bless and Keep you all.
posted July 14, 2009 at 9:13 pm
Nothing makes death easy on this side, except the compassion and love of Jesus Christ! I am now a disabled RN after working 40 years. I have seen little ones home and ancient precious souls wracked with pain. Death is not easy, but going home is such a blessing!
Thank You, Sheila, for your beautiful words. May we all hold our loved ones a little closer!
posted July 15, 2009 at 4:35 am
Shelia, There is no way to say goodbye to a child or grandchild, 22 months ago, we let our love go to Heaven. He was seven years old, if God is listening we all need help to get us back to the road of Grace.
The pain is still to great, going to put flowers on his grave just doestn’t get it. Still, sitting in church praying doesn’t bring the answer of why? God if your listening?
posted July 15, 2009 at 9:27 am
by your post I can tell that child was loved and someday they will be with their son again
posted July 16, 2009 at 10:44 am
My heart goes out to you and your pain. I can tell the love for your precious child will live forever in you heart ..God is listening and he will carry you even when you cannot see or feel it.Even through the pain love remains forever! My prayers are with you, In Jesus Love, Cindy
posted July 16, 2009 at 9:41 pm
I was exposed to the death of a beloved neighbor/boyfriend at the age of 14 to asthma. I had just gotten over being hospitalized myself at the age of 11 for a traumatic accident, and prayed to God – Why take Bill and not ME?? Nill was a GENIUS, who had a lab in his basement and was constantly creating fun things for us to do. It is TRUE that the hardest thing for a parent to do is outlive their child. His parents were devastated. BUT – who can question God and his methods? Perhaps he needed an angel to watch over at-risk children. I miss him to this day – 60 years after the fact, and reminisce over what/who he could have become. I started questioning God, and have been a “seeker” ever since. I owe my spirituality to this early loss. RIP, Bill…
posted July 17, 2009 at 3:15 pm
As the a mother who also lost her precious son, I can tell you there is no greater pain than saying goodbye to your child. My heart aches each and every moment of every day for him, as I am sure it will for as long as I am still on this earth. I have the assurance that my Christian son is in the arms of my Savior right now; and he is experiencing more joy and love than can be imagined! But it is still very, very hard for those left behind. I don’t question why he is gone; I have faith in God and his plan for my son, for me and the rest of my family. God bless Connor’s family as they begin their grief journey. My prayers are certainly with them.
Jeanne
posted July 17, 2009 at 9:57 pm
Having lost a child and a father within 2 months a part. I do understand the lost and the void, which only God can fill. I celebrated my child’s life by starting a ministry and helping others in honor of my child. I begun speaking to others about life and laugther. This was therapy to me and it brought joy to God’s people, I wanted to bless others with my story of life and celebarting those we love. I have learned that a child’s death can result in the saving of a souls, the healing of families and bring them familes’ closer to God. Even in momemts which we cannot explain, such as a short lived life, GOd does get the Glory. We must learn to trust God even in our darkness hour he will bring healing. I am a witness to God’s Great Mercy and Grace even in the lost of a child. God is the author and finsher of our faith and we must trust him. He can heal the broken heart and bring light to darkness. I found that after the mourning, came the celebarting my child’s life and blessing others was my key to healing. To God be the glory. The Speaker Http:lupusheart2heart.blogspot.com
posted July 20, 2009 at 12:16 pm
just be still for amount and will showed up
posted August 17, 2009 at 7:06 am
Shelia, About five tears ago AI spoke with at your table about depression. I have been depressed all my life. also, I had just lost my father and seven year old grand son. You talked about how you realized you would always go though some sort of spells. I sat in my chair and weeped. I knew I would be the same. As, much as I pray to understand I don’t. What can I do to get there. To feel God with me? I don’t feel him around me or on my side. There is just this dark hole. what am I doing wronge? Can you help me?