Every season, The Real World lets us into the lives of seven strangers “picked to live in a house, work together and have their lives taped to find out what happens when people stop being polite and start getting real.” But what happens when the people who stop being polite are Christian?
On the season premiere of Real World Denver, we met Stephen, a 22-year-old Protestant and Davis, a 23-year-old Southern Baptist who was also gay. The rapport between the two men was fluid as they discussed faith and finding a church in Denver. But the skies soon darkened over their blossoming friendship when Davis announced he was gay.
Five of the roommates, none of whom had professed to be Christian, welcomed Davis with open arms. But Stephen expressed much disappointment and slight disgust. After a critical discussion with Davis, Stephen said, “I think it is wrong that you are gay.” Davis responded, “What if I said, I think it’s wrong that you’re black?” The argument raged on for a few minutes and then was settled with perfunctory apology to keep the house happy.
I was nervous to see how both would act under the circumstances. Stephen’s lack of compassion appalled me. As Christians, we are taught to “Love the sinner and not the sin.” Davis’s comment–that he didn’t believe God created the Biblical law that cites homosexuality as a sin–also shocked me.
This episode ignited a tailspin of discussion among my friends. At the end of it all, all I could think was this: “Let he who is without sin cast the first stone. (John 8:7)” Stephen can’t judge Davis, because while he isn’t homosexual, he may commit other sins. Sin is sin, and Davis’s homosexuality does not trump other sins. But Davis should study the scripture deeply to understand what was God’s divine will–this God he presumes to believe in.
Of course this show is edit-heavy, so they would make the conservative Christian out to be a judgmental hypocrite and the homosexual Christian clueless about his alleged eternal damnation. So I’m going to give these two men the benefit of the doubt by watching a whole season, which is usually more time than any of us get to prove our own naysayers wrong.
posted November 29, 2006 at 7:22 pm
Just remember, Davis confided as a teen to his parents that he was having same-sex attractions long ago and was prompting enrolled in an ex-gay program. Despite years of devoted effort and lots of heterosexual dating, Davis finally came to the realization that the cure don’t work. Shocked though she might be, Nicole shouldn’t really be surprised that some people and churches have come to a sincere realization that homosexuality is no more a sin than heterosexuality. It might be used wrongly, such as the gang-rapes of Sodom and the temple prostitution cited in Romans, but it’s not always sinful.
posted November 29, 2006 at 9:13 pm
I believe what some people fail to realize is that being homosexual is a lifestyle a Christian can choose. Upon developing these feelings their acceptance of it is an acceptance of the card the devil has dealt them. There are many Christians that have succesfully battled their homosexuality because they knew it was not right in the eyes of God.And while there may be churches that recognize that homosexuality is no more of a sin than those committed in heterosexuality, there aren’t enough churches that are accepting enough of homosexual people and willing to give them the help they need instead of condemning them and watching them sink deeply into sin.
posted November 29, 2006 at 10:04 pm
There is no homosexual lifestyle anymore than there is a heterosexual lifestyle. My Beliefnet friend Rob was commended for his “lifestyle” once. He has a stay-at-home spouse, two children, a fullfilling career, a close connection with his extended family, and an active church role. It blew the mind of that other person when she learned that Rob is a man, as is spouse. The only difference between the two moments was the realization that the two parents were both men instead of a man and a woman.
posted November 30, 2006 at 1:08 am
Gosh I haven’t watched Real World since we were roommates Nicole! I’ll have to check it out again. The whole gay thing is an issue I toss around in my head a lot, especially since I am both LDS and a far left democrat. I have no ethical or even moral issues with people being homosexual and living homosexual lives (be they dedicated to one person or sleeping around). I even think that on the basis of a government founded on equality that gay marriage should be legal as long as there are tax and health care benefits that married heterosexual partners get, but homosexual partners don’t. And I’ve known way too many closeted gays (especially at BYU!) who wrecked their psyches over mental anguish. The ones that eventually came out were much happier and sane.But when it comes to a religious and doctrinal standpoint – I’ve finally decided that it’s all about covenants, at least for Mormons anyway. We’ve got baptismal covenants, we make covenants in the Temple, we renew our covenants each week and we take the Sacrament etc. Our religion is all about making covenants to live a certain way and lifestyle. So for me, because I’ve covenanted to live the Law of Chastity, it would be a sin for me to live a gay lifestyle. Just as for the ancient Israelites who also made covenants with God, it would be a sin for them. For someone else who hasn’t made covenants, I don’t know. It’s probably still a sin, but it certainly wouldn’t be a sin in the same degree as it would be for me to live a homosexual lifestyle. I just know the same as you – that first and foremost we must live and act as Christians: don’t cast the first stone, and don’t judge. I also know that we’re judged according to what we know and how we’ve covenanted to live. So I just tell all my friends that live the raucous lifestyles I don’t, that they’ll probably be better off than me come judgement day… ;P So is being gay a sin in all cases? I don’t know.
posted November 30, 2006 at 4:03 am
kudos, nikkisymms! i appreciate your high road and i just about completely concur with everything you said…i haven’t watched this season and don’t know if i will, but it seems interesting… as far as the whole homosexuality being a sin thing…i’m kind of over it. if i call myself a christian and desire to walk/talk/be/live like christ, i need to speak to others in love and in truth, not condemning, not chastizing, but embracing and communing with everyone. george the w has done a great job in distracting this “moral majority” from the issues that actually affect everyone’s life and the rest of the world…like racism, all other forms of oppression, genocide, the war, i can go on and on…but that’s a whole other blog
posted June 7, 2007 at 3:50 am
I just wanted to say that Stephen may be a nice person, but He is so quick to question Davis’ walk with God, yet Stephen drinks, curses, and fornicates…what makes him better than Davis?
posted January 19, 2008 at 8:46 pm
Covenants or Biblical laws; many don’t believe either exist. I recently counselled a man who didn’t believe it was a sin to be gay. All he wanted to do was use the Bible out of context to justify his point of view. But here are the facts:
Homosexuality and lesbianism is forbidden Genesis 19:5; Leviticus 18:22-23,20:13; Deuteronomy 23:17; Judges 19:22-24; I Kings 14:24,15:12; Romans 1:24-27; 1 Corinthians 6:9-10.
Homosexuality (male or female) is an abomination to God. He created us
“Adam & Eve,” not “Adam & Steve,” for a reason, which was and IS procreation. Homosexuality is all about hedonism, or pleasure for pleasure’s sake, at the sacrifice of God’s moral laws.
It’s shaky ground with out Creator, and I don’t care to stand there.