Idol Chatter

Idol Chatter

“The Ten Commandments”: The Abtastic Val Kilmer Musical!

posted by Esther Kustanowitz

When facing a movie like “The Ten Commandments: The Musical“–based on a recent stage production and set for DVD release this week–I always approach it from two angles: (1) Is the product a good/entertaining one?; and (2) Is it true to the text?

The first good sign for this production is its enormously talented cast. The amazing Alisan Porter plays Miriam (you can also catch her in the Broadway revival of “A Chorus Line”); Aharon Ipale stars for his second time as the Pharaoh Seti (first time was in”The Mummy”). Michelle Pereira (“Yokebed,” Moses’ mother, or as I was taught to pronounce it, Yokheved) and Kevin Earley (Ramses) also turn in passionate performances. Some voices are so phenomenal that they can even make cheesy lyrics (Joshua, a slave, rebels with “you can’t tie a rock to my soul”) forgivable.

I admit, I snickered when I read the words “Val Kilmer IS Moses in ‘The Ten Commandments.’” But the truth is that Kilmer wasn’t all that bad–perhaps because he’s played Moses once before (in 1998, for Dreamworks’ “Prince of Egypt”). Kilmer does a lot of the “talky singing” that’s usually assigned to characters tasked with major plot exposition, wherein each musical phrase is packed with more words than human lung capacity should be able to handle. Thankfully, “Top Gun’s” Iceman is not expected to perform complicated musical arrangements and choreography.

But the production suffers because its heart, its Moses, mostly reacts to the musical going on around him. The quality of his voice is certainly not at the same level as the highly trained cast that surrounds him, but it was fine. But is ‘fine’ enough for a musical? I mean, I have a fine voice, but I’m not auditioning for Broadway shows where the marquee would boast: “‘Queen Esther: The Musical’ featuring Celine Dion, Mariah Carey, Kelly Clarkson, Josh Groban, and Esther Kustanowitz.”

Textual accuracy is more complicated. Bible stories represent the bedrock of contemporary Judeo-Christian faith; and biblical purists will just have to make some spiritual concessions when watching this musical. The dramatized story, both in the DeMille epic and here, tacks on a love triangle (Ramses is to marry a woman who’s in love with Moses; she sings about it in “A Love that Never Was.”) The brotherhood storyline is also a major hook for promotion: “Two men. Raised as brothers. Divided by history.”

But the story has never needed this Hollywood touch, nor does it need a post-Red Sea crossing reconciliation between the brothers, who proclaim their love forever. Pharaoh even proclaims, “Moses, your God is God.” (Never happened in the Bible.)

When Moses is banished after slaying the Egyptian taskmaster, the entire cast drifts into a musical number, one at a time, wondering “What about us, what will we be without him?” While, this is a very effective song of loss, it’s not terribly biblical. Similarly, I watched the plague sequence three times, and I’m not sure all 10 are included. Some story elements that are not in the straight text in Exodus do exist in biblical legend–for instance, the possibility that Bithia/Batya, the daughter of Pharaoh who draws the infant Moses from the water, exited Egypt with the Hebrew slaves and was present at Mount Sinai to receive the Torah. On the other hand, I doubt any of the Midianites, Moses’ in-laws, were Asian or blonde, which may make me a racist, a biblical Purist, or both.

Were Egyptian slaves really dressed so scantily? With wardrobe by BCBG Max Azria, never has slavery looked so abtastic. With all those exposed midriffs, it’s no wonder that when the Children of Israel engage in nostalgic yearning for the Egypt they’d left behind (“Where is the land of milk and honey?”), their primal moan quickly enables the sheer libido of the people to physically manifest as a golden calf.

There will be those who decide, after hearing a voice of God that sounds not wholly unlike a vocoder-infused staccato rap, to call it a day. But then again, the music successfully highlights how remarkably layered the Exodus story is, both in terms of the human pathos involved and the faith themes. Moses is not just a man threatening the economic system of Egypt by trying to free its slaves, he was raised in the Egyptian palace as the son of Pharaoh’s daughter, which ups the stakes. Whether or not the actual story sets up Pharaoh and Moses as literal brothers, the story is still about freedom and about the men who represent Gods.

Plus, Val Kilmer in a tallit (prayer shawl)? To a Jewish girl with “Top Gun” memories, that’s totally hot.



Previous Posts

What Price Would You Pay for Religious Freedom?
It’s a question that’s especially valid today as the Catholic Church battles with our government over the proposed healthcare mandate requiring faith-based institutions to cover contraception.  We ask ourselves if this is a breach of religious liberty and if so, how will this fight will end? Â

posted 10:36:55am May. 09, 2012 | read full post »

Free Giveaway for the New Monks of the Desert Album!
The Monastary of Christ in the Desert was founded in 1964 in Abiqulu, New Mexico. It’s located in, you guessed it, the middle of the desert. Being surrounded by miles of government-protected land, the abbey is the perfect place to guarantee a quiet life of solitude perfectly suited to the Benedict

posted 2:51:44pm Apr. 23, 2012 | read full post »

Rick Warren on the 'Unbelievable' new worship album you have to hear!
Travis Ryan, worship pastor at Saddleback Church, has a brand new worship album out called "Fearless" with a wonderful single on it, "Jesus Precious Jesus." You can listen to a sample of the song (it's great!) and download the single here. Rick Warren, Saddleback's pastor (and author of "The Purp

posted 11:41:38pm Apr. 09, 2012 | read full post »

For Greater Glory - EXCLUSIVE First Look!
UPDATE: This is an exclusive first look at the poster for the film! I don't know much about For Greater Glory. I know it stars Andy Garcia, Evan Longoria, and Peter O'Toole. I know it's the true story of the Cristiada, a Mexican civil war that happened in the 1920s. I know it's about the persecut

posted 5:17:13pm Mar. 23, 2012 | read full post »

WWJD II - The Woodcarver
It can be difficult to find family friend entertainment these days. Even cartoons aimed at children can have poor attitudes and language that you'd never want your little ones spouting off. There have been any number of times where, in shock, I've turned something off that my kids were watching that

posted 4:23:04pm Mar. 01, 2012 | read full post »

Advertisement
Comments read comments(25)
post a comment
Vince Yeoh

posted November 25, 2006 at 4:13 am


Some years ago, i saw a musical stage production entitled Judah Ben-Hur – The Musical, which i enjoyed tremendously. So i’m looking forward to this one as well.



report abuse
 

payday loans toronto

posted July 26, 2010 at 8:50 pm


blog.beliefnet.com is great! The best answer to all such queries can be instant payday loans Instant payday loans are short term loans which allow you to derive funds in between ? to ? as per your income needs and paying back



report abuse
 

Mr. Payday Easy Loans Inc.

posted September 8, 2010 at 3:59 am


Do you have any more info on this? muhymvqwunxdmaktxiwhxdrepqrlxoogzal
Mr. Payday Easy Loans Inc.



report abuse
 

payday loans online

posted September 21, 2010 at 4:25 am


Do you have any more info on this?



report abuse
 

payday loans canada

posted September 21, 2010 at 4:10 pm


Thanks for good news! Your site is very useful for me. I bookmarked your site!



report abuse
 

faxless payday loans

posted September 22, 2010 at 3:10 pm


I will post a link to this blog on my site. I’m sure my readers will find this info really great. bqmrouhpszx



report abuse
 

no fax loans

posted September 25, 2010 at 3:41 pm


Finally, an issue that I am passionate about. I have looked for information of this caliber for the last several hours. Your site is greatly appreciated.



report abuse
 

loans in canada

posted September 26, 2010 at 1:27 am


Excellent read, I just passed this onto a colleague who was doing a little research on that. And he actually bought me lunch because I found it for him smile So let me rephrase that: Thanks for lunch!



report abuse
 

payday loans ontario

posted September 28, 2010 at 4:32 am


Hi webmaster, commencers and everybody else !!! The blog was absolutely fantastic! Lots of perfect information and inspiration, both of which we all need! Maintain them coming… You all do such a remarkable job at such Concepts… can’t tell you how much I, for one appreciate all you do!



report abuse
 

loans for bad credit

posted September 28, 2010 at 3:20 pm


Do you have any more info on this?



report abuse
 

loans bc canada

posted September 29, 2010 at 3:44 pm


Easily, the publish is really the greatest on this laudable topic. I concur with your conclusions and will thirstily look forward to your future updates. Saying thanks will not just be sufficient, for the great lucidity in your writing. I will instantly grab your rss feed to stay privy of any updates. Solid work and much success in your business enterprise!



report abuse
 

weight loss

posted October 1, 2010 at 8:39 pm


This article gives the light in which we can observe the reality. This is particularly nice one and gives in-depth information. Thanks for this nice article.



report abuse
 

lose weight

posted October 2, 2010 at 3:58 am


Extremely useful article. Myself & my neighbor were preparing to do some research about that. We got a wonderful book on that matter from our local library and most books were not as descriptive as your information. I am rather glad to see such information which I was searching for a long time.



report abuse
 

faxless payday loan

posted October 4, 2010 at 2:12 am


Thanks for making such a killer blog. I arrive on here all the time and am floored with the fresh information here.



report abuse
 

loans with bad credit

posted October 5, 2010 at 5:59 pm


This website is amazing. I constantly come across some thing new & different right here. Thank you for that data.



report abuse
 

payday loan online

posted October 12, 2010 at 1:31 pm


Do you have any more info on this?



report abuse
 

payday loans online

posted December 17, 2010 at 9:06 pm


This website is the finest net page. aryzqrrn



report abuse
 

college scholarships

posted December 18, 2010 at 4:08 pm


This website is the top web blog. cocrtqte



report abuse
 

sample resume

posted December 22, 2010 at 1:45 am


This website is the top web-site. ltnnfqxu



report abuse
 

football online

posted December 24, 2010 at 12:02 am


I am looking for ncaa football online pass. How can I find it?



report abuse
 

school grants

posted January 12, 2011 at 12:15 am


Excellent read about The Ten Commandments”: The Abtastic Val Kilmer Musical!
- Idol Chatter!



report abuse
 

payday loan advance

posted January 12, 2011 at 11:32 pm


Amazing blogpost something like The Ten Commandments”: The Abtastic Val Kilmer Musical!
- Idol Chatter!



report abuse
 

Hot models

posted February 12, 2011 at 1:25 pm


A man is as old as he feels.



report abuse
 

payday loans calgary

posted February 17, 2011 at 7:24 am


I like your bloge very much. Great job author of blog.beliefnet.com



report abuse
 

Tadalis online kaufen

posted February 26, 2011 at 2:20 pm


Dig the well before you are thirsty.



report abuse
 

Post a Comment

By submitting these comments, I agree to the beliefnet.com terms of service, rules of conduct and privacy policy (the "agreements"). I understand and agree that any content I post is licensed to beliefnet.com and may be used by beliefnet.com in accordance with the agreements.

Share this story


About Beliefnet

Our mission is to help people like you find, and walk, a spiritual path that will bring comfort, hope, clarity, strength, and happiness. More about Beliefnet.

Help

Media Kit

Subscribe

Legal

Copyright © Beliefnet, Inc. and/or its licensors. All rights reserved. Use of this site is subject to Terms of Service and to our Privacy Policy. Constructed by Beliefnet.

Advertisement

Report as Inappropriate

You are reporting this content because it violates the Terms of Service.

All reported content is logged for investigation.