Is committing adultery in the name of true love spiritually justifiable or morally (and biblically) wrong?
Like my fellow blogger, Esther Kustanowitz, I gave the Monday night show "New Amsterdam" a chance (Thanks, writer's strike!) and was taken away by the cast, the storylines, and the flashbacks (the strength of the show). But (yes, there's always a 'but'), I found myself surprised and angry at last week's episode when John Amsterdam beds a married woman, Sarah Dillane, simply because he believes she is "the one" who will allow him to (finally) become mortal.
While most shows make sure to keep the romance alive by making two characters unavailable for at least one season (think "Alias," "Smallville," "Ugly Betty," "The Office," "Bones"), "New Amsterdam" had John discover his (supposed) soulmate's marriage in one episode and then had him kissing her/sleeping with her in the next. As John falls into bed with Sarah, who is estranged--not divorced--from her husband, he says, "I've been waiting for this for a long time." If he's waited over 400 years, what's wrong with waiting just a few more years until Sarah is officially divorced from her husband?
Maybe I'm old fashioned or maybe the recent Spitzer and Paterson revelations are still fresh in my mind, but I cringed for all spouses whose marriages have been destroyed by affairs when I watched the episode romanticize adultery.
Although John was spurred on to chase Sarah after being given a carpe diem lesson, the problem in John seizing the day with Sarah is he barely knew her enough to love her. He assumed he was meant to love her because he had a random heart attack near her. This was enough to convince him Sarah was the one to complete his soul.
Perhaps I'm so used to foreplay on television that I assumed John would just find other (more clever) ways to chase after Sarah. From what the show has revealed so far, John seems to be a loyal, trustworthy, and moral person so I assumed he would follow the moral and biblical laws of not committing adultery. In having John and Sarah sleep together so soon, the series indicates they aren't really soulmates but lustmates. Also, a show that bases its premise on a timeless romantic idea that "the one" is worth waiting for risks diluting and reversing its message by having the main character be so careless with his libido.
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I've been watching this new show and 'see' the anguish he is going through being 'immortal'. His susequent parenting of 68 offspring during his 400 years of immortality further speaks of this anguish. Not being able to 'come clean' with his objects of affection and not being able to be believed by them just makes him fell that more disconnected---ultimately seeking the next 'one'. How the writers approach this delimma is going to make an insightful story line.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE STORY LINE MIGHT BE, ABOUT HOW LONG HE HAS WAITED TO TAKE SOMEONE TO BED...IT IS A BAD THING FOR FAMILIES TO SEE THIS ON EVERY SHOW THEY WATCH ANYMORE. NOT JUST A FEW OF THEM, BUT ALL OF THEM. THERE IS NO RELIEF FROM IT.
HOW ARE WE GOING TO TEACH OUR CHILDREN THEY ARE TO WAIT UNTIL THEY MARRY TO SLEEP WITH SOMEONE...OR AT LEAST WAIT UNTIL THEY ARE SURE THEY ARE GOING TO MARRY A PERSON BEFORE THEY JUMP INTO BED WITH THEM.
LIFE IS ROUGH ENOUGH WITHOUT ALL HE DANGERS OF EMOIONAL DISTRESS AND DISEASE AND THE CHANCE OF UNWANTED PREGNANCIES TO CONTEND WITH/
PUDGE:
If you are upset by the fact that TV shows people jumping into bed "before marriage", turn off the TV...or monitor it closely. I expect if you feel that it is wrong to jump into bed without marriage (or engagement) your children will have been getting that message from you all along (yes?) and even after seeing what is shown on the TV, they can and will make up their own minds when the time comes to decide "to bed or not to bed." It is up to the parents to be teaching their morality to their children, not the TV. Sex and it's consequences should be taught, IMO by the parents, but it seems that many parents can't or don't tell it like it is, and expect someone else to do so (school, church). TV is going to show what they feel viewers want to watch. Parents are the ultimate deciders, at least for at time, of what their children watch.
I feel giving John the label of "homewrecker" is unfair. Affairs do not "wreck" a marriage that is already dead, even though its not legally over yet. In most cases adultery is a symptom that something is terribly wrong with a marriage and it either needs to be fixed or people need to go their separate ways.
Your column seems to advocate the enforcement of scarlet "A" letters to be worn by all adulterers. It's hypocritical and judgmental. We already have enough of holier-than-thou's in this world. Stop stoning others and work on your own issues. For example, why does it bother YOU so much? How is YOUR marriage? Are you feeling insecure about YOUR relationships?
bb,
Cern
I, like Pudge, am sick of seeing adultery all over TV and movies--it's not just that it is there but that it is romanticized and glorified--made to look a) acceptable; b) normal; and c) exciting and desirable. The Entertainment business also glosses over the human wreckage left behind by such decisions (or perhaps, lack of decision) to violate vows that are made--not just to our spouses but also to our communities and society in general--they forget to show the real devastation to the faithful spouse or the children of those involved. Like the frog who doesn't realize he is being boiled to death because the temperature under the pot is being raised slowly a degree at a time so he gets used to each higher temperature, we Americans are losing our sense of values by small increments as our values are slowly erroded by an entertainment industry that, perhaps, just wants their ridiculous and immoral behavior to be considered the norm. Why else would we be inundated with the sleaziest possible reality shows and all the immorality plays we are offered today? Folks, vote with your remotes--refuse to watch the trash, let the sponsors know how you feel...
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