I don't know how I, watcher for all-things Christian chastity culture-related, missed this big New York Times feature, "Dancing the Night Away, With a Higher Purpose," by Neela Banerjee, from last week about the growing popularity of the Purity Ball.
A Purity Ball, writes Banerjee, is a formal dance where "men st[and] and read aloud a covenant “before God to cover my daughter as her authority and protection in the area of purity," a gesture signaling "that the fathers would guard their daughters from what evangelicals consider a profoundly corrosive "hook-up culture," over the course of an "evening, which alternate[s] between homemade Christian rituals and giddy dancing...a joyous public affirmation of the girls' sexual abstinence until they wed." It's similar to a debutante ball, with the girls attending wearing "floor-length gowns, up-dos and tiaras," however the girls range in age from the very young (elementary aged) to college-aged.
The article includes comments from attendees at a recent, large Purity Ball in Colorado Springs, and a fairly thorough play-by-play of this new, Christian take on the father-daughter dance. I wrote about Purity Balls in my most recent book, "Sex and the Soul: Juggling Sexuality, Spirituality, Romance and Religion on America's College Campuses," because they came up in student interviews as a growing trend. Anyone interested in American youth culture, especially evangelical youth culture, should give this article a look, and get to know the newest form of the debutante ball. Soon enough, there will be one happening near you.
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Sounds pretty creepy to me, perpetuating the idea that a young woman "belongs" to her father until such time that he "gives her away" to "belong" to another man. It is my opinion that parents need to instill wisdom and self worth in their daughters. From that point, a young woman is the custodian and protector of her own sexuality. A, sadly lost, definition of virginity is "to belong to oneself" or for a woman to be "one in herself"...not to belong to daddy or any other man.
I would rather my daughter be empowered than guarded. I won't even touch the whole "giddy dancing" thing. And are there no such rituals for boys? No "Mommy will protect you from the hot girls who want your bod" dances?
Of the making of nutcases there is no end. Fortunately the vast majority of young people will view these poor devils as the loons that they are and ignore them.
you may deride this kind of things but purity is a important thing and being a virgin for marriage and being chaste/faithful is a very important thing....ps The guy events are called knights in waiting or something like that...
I think the derision in some of the posts is a pretty good meter of where we have fallen to as a society. While I don't agree with the details, nor am of the Judeo-Christian-Islam persuasion, I don't really think this is a bad thing.
Our society has long since forgotten the balance of rights, obligations and responsibilities. When a teen pregnancy happens the whole family pays the price, not just the young parent(s) and the child. The same is true for many other mistakes common to young people, especially the young without clear guidance and understanding about what the expectations are for them.
The only thing wrong here is that most don't seem to understand that with fatherhood, and parenthood in general, goes discipline and actual parenting. This includes the hard stuff including molding and shaping our children into useful, productive, decent members of society. And yes that does include values and beliefs and religion even if you don't agree.
But all sex doesn't lead to pregnancy. I'm not saying young people should have sex, but they are. We can deny it and try to stop it, but it's happening, and we have to deal with the fact that it is.
We need to give them education on how to be responsible if they are going to have sex, not try to beat into their heads that sex is bad. Have we learned nothing from the futile war on drugs. We're trying to close the barn doors after the horse has left the stable.
Teach them to be safe. To protect against disease, pregnancy and abuse. By opening up an honest and frank, and most importantly NON-JUDGEMENTAL dicussion with our young people, they will come to us when they are confused, and conflicted, and feeling the pressure to do what their friends, and boyfriends/girlfriends are encouraging them to do. They will come to us for guidance, without fear of judgement, or irrational reprecussions.
But you cannot keep your child in a bubble. Give them the tools they need to be safe, and responsible, and the knowledge that you will always be there for them, and love them no matter what mistakes they may make.
And mean it!
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