Quick! When you think of what married life is in the Middle East, what comes to mind? Women clad in black burkas, abayas (robes), hijabs, and face veils, sticking close to home, raising kids and following the lead of her dominating Arab husband? A relationship where the man is in charge and the woman sticks to the roles of wife and mother?
Not according to “Noor,” a popular Turkish soap opera that’s gaining huge viewership across the Gaza strip and in Saudi Arabia. It features a handsome protagonist names Mohannad, a blue-eyed Arab heartthrob married to Noor, who aspires to be a fashion designer. And get this–Mohhanad supports her goals! According to a Newsweek article, women across the Middle East are swooning for this atypical Arab hero against the wishes of strict, conservative Arab-Muslim clerics who are urging people to tune out the “un-Islamic” show.
Some women are advising their husbands to learn from Noor and Mohannad. In the Newsweek article, 24-year-old Heba Hamdan, a housewife who married straight out of college, told her husband, ” … learn from him (Mohannad) how he treats her, how he loves her, how he cares about her.” Hamdan, who lives in Amman Jordon, said “Noor” has inspired to go out and look for a job.
“Noor” is an interesting mix of Muslim, Western, and Arab practices and traditions. The characters observe the fasting month of Ramadan, the title character’s marriage was arranged by Mohannad’s grandfather. But strict Muslims are riled because the couple drinks alcohol with dinner and had sex outside of marriage. (The husband had a child with an old girlfriend.)
But it is a Turkish soap opera, from a country that’s less conservative than its Muslim counterparts. And conservatives seem powerless to stem the tide of “Noor’s” popularity. In Saudi Arabia, three to four million watch the show daily according to Saudi satellite channel MBC.
Setting aside the character’s obviously un-Islamic practices, I think the relationship shown in “Noor” is one that’s very Islamic. The Islam I was always taught says a woman’s first priority is to make sure her family is taken care of in the best way. And after that, she is encouraged to do more–get educated, contribute to society, work. And her relationship with her husband is one of love and consideration–not domination. If I got “Noor” in the U.S., I would probably watch.
The show will wrap up before the start of Ramadan (when religious programming takes over in the Middle East) at the end of August.
posted July 30, 2008 at 3:43 am
Turks aren’t Arabs.
posted August 4, 2008 at 7:11 am
Its a Turkish show with Turkish actors and crew. It was merely dubbed into Arabic and released in Arab countries. Turkish soap operas are pretty much the same as American ones with kissing scenes and all.
posted August 5, 2008 at 11:49 am
this is definately not a typical islamic relationship… no matter what muslims worldwide proclaim they make women baby machines and sex objects in the home… this show also shown here in egypt shows love and respect… something missing the in typical muslim marriage… afterall if a muslim woman loves her husband and he respects her then there will probably not be a couple more wives… and too bad muslims think they are perfect and have no forgiveness of something making an error in judgement and having a baby out of wedlock…
posted August 5, 2008 at 1:00 pm
I wish this show did air in the US…being in an “islamic” marriage tenderness is missing. My husband is not Arab (Pakistani), he is kind but the tenderness that is shared between a man and his wife is missing… I don’t know if that is by-product of his up-bringing
posted August 5, 2008 at 1:41 pm
I really think on how a person was raised…really it has nothing to do with being Muslim or not. There are plenty of non-Muslims who are not tender/passionate. Part of it is culture and the other part is how they were raised in the household. My husband and I were born in the U.S.(White/African-American)and he supports my decision to go to school. I have two children and I work as well. There isn’t a lack of tenderness between us. We just work things out.
I know an hispanic man(born in U.S./Christian)who wasn’t raised to be tender. He never said “I love you” to his wife or kids. He always worked. She was supposed to stay home to cook and clean. So the idea that Muslims are the only one that does this is far from the truth.
I don’t think as a we(Muslims)think we are perfect, we are subject to make mistakes just as anyone else. There people period who judge a person for having a baby out of wedlock. If you look a lot of people in politics, what they say isn’t always what they do. It’s just human nature.
posted August 5, 2008 at 3:47 pm
I agree with previous posts that upbringing and the example set has a lot to do with how the marital relationship will be. In the case of women (particularly Muslim women) it is also about knowing one’s rights as well as one’s obligations and not being afraid to excercise those rights. If a woman allows herself to be a “doormat” then she will be treated as such but if a woman exerts her autonomy then she will be respected as an equal. Indeed the dominate male/suborndinate woman syndrome is not exclusive to Muslims nor to those in the Middle East. Much of Asian culture has a similar mindset and while African-American society wants to promote similar it can’t stick because women have been the backbone and head of households when men fall short or rather run away.
What I have found in my quest for a husband is that because my Muslim brothers are used to the “doormat” type of women they instantly and immediately reject those of us who are out there working; who are educated; and who are aware of their rights.
While overall there may not be this perception of “perfection” amongst the ummah there is the serious matter of the “ethnic divide” and “ethnic superiority” which is an infection that serves only to destroy us and forces far too many Muslim women to remain unmarried and therefore unable to enjoy the fullness of life that is a right of Muslim women as given by Allah (man has chosen to rob some women of a right that was not theirs to take away). This only leads women to have no alternative but to become educated; remain employed full-time; and develop such a strong sense of independence that they become even more undesirable to the Muslim men. Even among those that claim that a woman’s ethnicity doesn’t matter it is obvious that it does when only certain women are rejected for no valid reason.
While it might be excellent to see “Noor” in the US it may serve only as a reminder to those single women of what they will never have.
posted August 5, 2008 at 5:10 pm
first of all as far as I know turks are not considered to be Arabs.
my husband is an Arab though (from egypt) and he fully supports my career goals. in fact he has 4 brothers and all of their wives have successful careers.
by the way, there is nothing wrong or submissive about sticking to the role of wife and mother, it is western society that has devalued this while Islam elevates it to the highest status. a woman may choose to work outside the home but she has a responsibility to her family too.
posted August 5, 2008 at 8:56 pm
In the link it says Turkish Soap opera…then we click on it the title is Arab Soap Opera…
I wish people realized Turks are different than Arabs, and the social structure is different as well. And half of the Turks are more European than Middle Eastern. I am not saying being Middle Eastern is bad. I am just stating a fact that Turkish society doesn’t fit in that category completely. Although the conservative groups in Turkish society would be closer to Middle Eastern culture, the rest of the society is not.
posted August 5, 2008 at 11:01 pm
the show does air in the united states!! if you call your satellite or cable provider and ask for arabic channels you will get NOOR. it comes on MBC and they rerun the new episodes 3 times every day until the next episode!! NOOR is very popular in the arabic community in the US!!
posted August 6, 2008 at 4:45 pm
I just want to say that I agree with the previous posts. I currently live in Jordan. All the girls and women that I know are educated, being educated(i.e getting university or college degrees), or working. Those that are married and have no children are also working. Those that do have children, some are still working, some are not (by their own choice).For those that are in between jobs (such as myself)we always get asked “aren’t you bored?” by both women and men because that is not the norm over here.Their are female supervisors, managers, businesswomen,etc. The husbands usually encourage their wives here. Some are romantic, some are not, it really depends on the guy himself, and not the religion . And this was way before Noor was on air in the middle east.