It was the moment millions of households had been waiting for. The moment when every Joe the Plumber and Jane Doe gets to play judge with the lives of people who are strangely certain that they are meant to be pop stars. It's American Idol and the more things change--the addition of a judge--the more things stay the same--most of the contestants still can't sing. So with last night's season premiere there were the usual barrage of contestants who flew from the other side of the country to wow the judges with their vocal prowess--or lack thereof.
Some of my favorite failures from last night: Michael Gurr who sung until he nearly puked; Elijah the baritone who clearly didn't know what to do with his deep range--but he was cute; and Sexual Chocolate who might have known how to sing but seemed to be more concerned about getting the Mustang his mom promised him if he didn't make it to Hollywood.
But let's fast-forward to the good stuff--and when I say good, I'm talking about the most talked about part of the show, a girl who shall only be known as Bikini Girl because I don't think she deserves a name otherwise. Is this statement cruel? Absolutely. Does she deserve it? I think so. So here's the story.
Bikini Girl decided that she would don a bikini to the audition because she figured it would make her stand out. The bikini would make her standout--not her voice, but this itsy bitsy teeny weeny un-polka-dotted bikini. Bikini Girl walks into the audition and wows Simon and Randy before she even opens her mouth. How could she do that you say? Well it starts with the bikini, then new judge Kara DioGuardi has Bikini Girl do a turn-around so that the judges and the world can check out her tiny assets and then she sings a sobering version of Mariah Carey's "Vision of Love." Her voice was tolerable at best, but Randy and Simon were blinded by her top and bottom. To make matters worse, instead of DioGuardi helping Bikini Girl understand the virtues of talent over brazen sexuality, she tries to outsing Bikini Girl. This only made her look immature and catty. Yet after all of this--including Bikini Girl telling DioGuardi that her demonstration wasn't that great--Bikini Girl still got the ticket to Hollywood and all the free press she'll ever need. (After all, I did take more than a few words to wax poetic about her lack of talent.)
But not to leave things on a bad note there are some brilliant voices that presented themselves in last night's premiere. Family-less Deanna Brown, home horror movie creator Cody Sheldon, cute as a button Arianna Afsar, oil rigger Michael Sarver, stiff as a board J.B. Ahfua and the classically-trained, nearly blind Scott Douglas MacIntyre. Lest I be remiss, MacIntyre does have an amazing story of being nearly blind but breaking the boundaries of that disability by going on to learn and play several musical instruments, start and graduate from college by 19 and be profiled by several mainstream media outlets. He is a testament that disabilities does not define a person. So don't be tempted to feel pity for him in his current state, he is living his life just as we all should be--without limit.
So these are the ones to watch this season and if you might, pray that our friend Bikini Girl gets some wits about herself, puts some clothes on and cashes her reality check to realize that she isn't as great as she thinks. In the words of the illustrious Miranda Priestly, "That's all."


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I don't see what the hype is about...not that great looking. If it weren't for the ugly bikini, she wouldn't have stood out. Tiny assets, for sure! Kind of a stick figure if you ask me...needs more curves!
Bikini girl needs to go home. it is a disgrace the way she is behaving. I am ashamed she is from Chino Hills. Her mother should be ashamed she is acting this way. her voice is not all that great. there is alot of good talent this year, and she is not one of them. Randy and Simon need to come down to earth, look past the underdeveloped body and remember this is a singing contest. they let people better than her leave last night because they are thinking with there little heads.
Chino Hills Residence
I've been an avid, and like most Americans, slightly obsessed American Idol fan since it first began. Being a singer myself, I've even tried my chances by going to one of the casting calls two years ago in Miami. Needless to say, nerves got the best of me and I didn't make it past the second round of auditions(you have to make it past a series of three auditions before you even get considered to audition in front of Paula, Simon, and Randy). The auditioning experience definitely helped me to see the show for what it really is. There's so many aspects about the process that you don't get to see on TV, and with each new season it's become clearer that it's necessarily about talent anymore, it's about ratings. For heaven's sake, when the camera rolls in your direction while you're waiting in line to audition, they remove you from view if you don't smile and look as if you're having the best time of your life even though you've been waiting in the hot, 92 degree sun for 7 hours! Which justifies the whole reason why Bikini Girl has made it as far as she has on the show. She's beautiful, no doubt about it...therefore she should persue modeling. Singing is definitely not her forte. This season in general has been disappointing with all the mediocre talent they've let through, and all the awesome talent they've let go. I absolutely loved Patricia Lewis Roman from Puerto Rico(she sang one of Whitney's hits). She was truly amazing and they let her go in Hollywood, along with a bunch of others that definitely deserved to be there more than Miss Bikini. Don't ask me if my extreme disappointment in the choosing of the contestants this year will stop me from watching the show, though. Unless my tv goes out on me, or I lose my job due to the crumbling economy and can't afford cable anymore, there's a slim chance to none that I'll ever give up on Idol ;)
It was totally unprofessional for a woman of Kara's age to try to upstage a young women with a gorgeous body. They cut off Katrina Darrell's mic. That was so wrong. What was her point? She should be ashamed of herself acting like that. It was plain from the audition that Kara and Paula were so jealous of this young woman. Simon and Randy liked her. They acted terrible from the minute they saw Katrina.
All Katrina said when Kara sang the song at the audition was "It was not that good". Paula stood up and they both went into a rage. What is that?? Everyone has a right to their opinion. Those judges are there to judge the singing, period.
I am sorry but this is not acceptable behavior for grown women judging a singing contest.
There are other girls who can top bikini girl, the attitudes that one has makes a big difference. She can't sing,and she makes a weird face movements. Since she got fake breasts,she should have had a total attitude makeover, then people whould see her in a different way.
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