Oh, the guilt, shame, and humiliation that comes with sinking to a new low. No, I am not talking about that despicable rascal Jason Mesnick, aka ABC’s latest manifestation of “The Bachelor.” Proving that all of the other dreamboat bachelors who misbehaved on the reality series were really just amateur gigolos, Mesnick proposed to one woman–Melissa Rycroft–in the final rose ceremony only to dump her on TV Monday night in exchange for the second runner-up, Molly Malaney. Obviously shame and guilt are not a part of the hunky single dad’s vocabulary. No, rather, I am talking about the utter loathing I feel for myself for tuning in to the …wait for it…most dramatic finale in “The Bachelor” series’ history. What’s worse is I didn’t tune in because I usually watch the show–I’ve seen a few episodes, but that’s it.
I watched Monday night because like millions of others, I had read the media leaks all over the web that this entire switcheroo was staged for a ratings ploy well in advance of the finale and that Mesnick was willing to go along with it. So while he is guilty of causing an emotional train wreck by stomping all over one woman’s heart , I am the even bigger loser for contributing to ABC’s ratings success that was also an all-time moral low for reality television.

Mesnick was built up by ABC as the nice guy with the cute kid who was unfairly dumped on last season’s “The Bachelorette” after proposing to DeAnna Pappas on national TV. Now Mesnick is the one being vilified for his insensitive treatment. No amount of fast talking and charming banter on the talk show circuit is going to save him from the onslaught of rage of women everywhere. And the horrible thought that he might have agreed to string one girl along, is, well, way too icky for me to think about for more than a second or two.
But back to me. I tuned in last night because part of me was hoping for exactly what I saw– a disaster. Which means I have become so anesthetized by the glut of humiliating antics on reality TV, that I thought watching one more wouldn’t really hurt. But it did. It hurt to see the way two woman allowed themselves to be manipulated by a network and by a man. And just like Mesnick, I have no good excuse at the ready for my behavior. I can only publicly repent and hope that it counts for more than Mesnick’s lame apologies of late and that this post will serve as a reminder I need to work on kicking the reality TV viewing habit.