Ellen Leventry: January 2007 Archives

To those following the coverage of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes' recent paparazzi-chronicled nuptials, the attendance of Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony probably wasn't much of a surprise (unlike Brooke Shields and her husband). Lopez has been best friends with "King of Queens" star and Scientologist Leah Remini for years. But Lopez surprised gossip columnists (yes, you Perez Hilton) when she told a local Miami television station that her father has been a Scientologist for 20 years.

When asked by NBC 6 about the Cruise-Holmes wedding and her thoughts on peoples' negative perceptions of Scientology, she replied, "I, myself, am Catholic. But it's just sad that people would look at it (Scientology) in that way."

"My dad has been a Scientologist for 20 years. It's weird people want to paint it in a negative way."

Although speculation has been rife that Cruise has been courting Lopez to join the Church of Scientology, and that she has allegedly turned to the religion to help conceive, her spokesperson Leslie Sloane Zelnick continues to deny that the singer/actor is abandoning her Catholic faith, saying that "the fact that Lopez socializes with friends who happen to be Scientologists doesn't mean anything more or anything less other than she enjoys their company."

So, why is it that she's kept this tidbit about her father on the down low? It's true that her father is not a clebrity and therefore shouldn't be exposed to the harsh light of public scrutiny. And, yes, this would be a non-issue if he had turned out to be, say, a Congregationalist. But for better or worse, the mix of secrecy and celebrity that the Church of Scientology promotes makes this a "bombshell" of a story.

Many year’s ago, a relative of mine joked that she may have to induce the birth of her third child since the expected due date was the same as the Super Bowl and she wanted her husband to be there for the birth. Luckily, said child arrived naturally three days before the big game, and we never had to witness the eventual bludgeoning that would have ensued when the football-watching father didn’t realize that mama’s comment was meant to be funny, not factual.

But don’t tell that to Colleen Pavelka a Homer Glen, Illinois, woman who opted to be induced last Friday so that her husband wouldn’t miss the Chicago Bears’ NFC playoff game against the New Orleans Saints.

With a due date set for January 22, Pavelka was scared that she might go into labor at Soldier Field and ruin her hubby’s big day:

"I thought, how could [Mark] miss this one opportunity that he might never have again in his life?" she told the AP.

Sure, inductions are on the rise and are being schedule for all sorts of debated, convenience-driven reasons these days. And having grown up in Chicago Bear’s territory, I understand the rabid nature of the Soldier Field faithful. (Mr. Pavelka wore a ‘Monsters of the Midway’ shirt during the delivery, reports the AP.)

But it strikes me as wrong to induce the birth of your child, to ask him to leave the comfort of the womb before he’s ready, and to take on the inherent risks of induction, just so your husband can attend a football game. Sure, it’s a playoff game, but isn’t witnessing the birth of his child, even a second child, also “one opportunity that [Mr. Pavelka] might never have again in his life”? (Then again, discounting the Bears’ recent comeback, he could have been waiting a while.) Besides, what would have been better than Mrs. Pavelka going into labor at Soldier Field on the day Da Bears made it to their first Super Bowl in over 20 years?

What do you think? Is scheduling the birth of a child in order for yourself or your spouse to attend a sporting event a reasonable thing to do? Or would you throw a flag on that play? Let Idol Chatter know.

Several months ago, while perusing a women's magazine, I came across an article by a psychologist advising women not to get married until their late 20s/early 30s. She sagely suggested that marrying someone when you are relatively young virtually guarantees that you will grow apart, since both members of the couple still haven't fully developed as adults. I meant to cut it out and send it to my mother.

Perhaps MTV read the same article and realized that a reality show about young couples diving into matrimony might not only serve as a cautionary tale, but offer some dramatic television moments. (When have you known a wedding that didn't bring out the drama queen in absolutely everyone involved?) Ladies and gentleman, may I introduce to you, "Engaged and Underaged."

The show--a mix of WE's "Bridzillas," TLC's "A Wedding Story," and MTV's own "True Life" documentary series featuring 18 to 21 year-olds--"portrays a young couple as they take their first steps towards adulthood, and begin to define themselves as people outside the confines of their parents and home life," according to the show's press release.

On Monday's premiere episode, we meet Lauren and David, two 21-year-old virgins who met while attending Oral Roberts University. Lauren is now living with David and his parents, albeit staying in separate bedrooms, preparing for their big day. We very quickly learn that Lauren is not so comfortable with David's super-close relationship with his mother--which is a little too creepily close for comfort. What mother tells her 21-year-old son, in front of his fiancee and on national television, that she's going to have to get in bed with him and snuggle for the next few nights, since in five more days he will be married off?

Although it's never explicitly mentioned as a reason, we get the feeling that these crazy kids are jumping through the matrimonial hoop so that they can finally have sex. When David's father subtly reminds him of an offer of $20,000 should he wait until he is 26 to marry is still on the table--that he feels David should travel and get a job before he couples up--one gets the distinct feeling that dad was not entirely pleased with the pending nuptials. Lauren's brother, although a little late in telling her so at the rehearsal, thinks his sister might want to rethink her decision, as well.

It would seem that David's father is worried that the kids don't have enough life experience. As Dr. John Van Epp, author of "How to Avoid Marrying a Jerk," told the Daily News, "The younger you are, the less you know yourself. What comes with age is a sense of maturity of identity and the ability to blend who you are with who someone else is."

And he is right to worry. Lauren and David, while most certainly nice people, are most certainly not mature. She came from a broken family and seems to be compensating by getting married young. She never truly looks happy. This could be due to editing, or the fact that her family has very little to do with the planning, but she seems quite alone.

Meanwhile, David is a mama's boy and doesn't understand why his future wife finds this annoying. Even after she tells him not to talk to his mother about the room they will be staying in during their first night together, he still goes on to describe the bed to his mother--in great detail.

Neither one of them is employed and after the wedding, they will live in his parents' guest house, under the watchful eye of David's mother.

Thankfully, the show did follow up with the couple three months later. In their voiceovers, the couple talks about how great it is to be married. But the idyllic scene is broken with David's mother calling and asking if they wanted to come up for dinner and Lauren's jaw dropping.

The show doesn't have the in-depth nature or, dare I say it, the gravitas of the aforementioned "True Life" series. But in this day and age, where the average age for a first marriage is late 20s and early 30s for those holding graduate degrees, it's a fascinating look at those willing to walk down the aisle where many others fear to tread.

The season premiere of "American Idol's" sixth season was the show's most-watched opener ever, with nearly 15 percent of the country watching at one point in the evening. So, is it any coincidence then that the Minnesota auditions featured on the show were some of the most egregious, deafening tryouts of the contest's history, being dubbed "The Midworst" by media outlets? As judge Simon Cowell says to many a contestant: No.

In fact, the producers are counting on the rubber-necking watchers, courting them with ads devoted to the musical misfits and zooming in on the horrified, wide-eyed, deer-in-the-headlights stares of the judges. (When you can see the whites of Paula Abdul's usually sleepy eyes, you know you're going to be in for something truly awful.)

The producers must have been salivating while witnessing the Minneapolis massacre, knowing that they had more than enough choice talentless tidbits to use in ads for the show. The following evening, Seattle unseated Minneapolis as the worst audition city ever, being dubbed a "vacuum of talent" by preternaturally peppy host Ryan Seacrest.

Unless you've been living in a cave or in one of the countries that does not have its own version of "Idol," the show's format is already familiar. The first several weeks focus on the national tryouts and then they bring the chosen few finalists to Hollywood, put them through a song and dance bootcamp, and whittle them down to the final 12. Then the competition really begins.

Minneapolis yielded such characters as Troy the Urban Amish guy, the opera singer who channeled "Rocky's" Apollo Creed, and the contestant who decided that he needed to go get a drink of water and walked out of the audition, only to return later to more than lackluster reviews, such as, "What do you think we are looking for, a 2-year-old who can't sing?"

But why would an audience want to sit through two hours of tone-deaf jugglers and diva-wannabes? For the same reason people watch "Jerry Springer" and that NBC just gave Springer's "bodyguard" Steve his own talk show: schadenfreude. The German word means "shameful joy," but no one has any shame about it these days. In other words, people love to watch trainwrecks.

I remember reading an interview in some celebrity magazine wherein the interviewee said that, as much as people are rooting for you on the way up, they are rooting more for your failure on the way down. With "Idol," this satisfaction is instantaneous; we don't have to wait years for the cycle to unfold a-la one-time Hollywood golden boy Ben Affleck circa "Gigli." Humiliation is served up in quick 30-second soundbytes, perfectly packaged for consumption; a collective smack-down for those who dare think they are talented enough to earn our adoration.

On the other hand, there are those, like myself, who watch the auditions with one hand on the remote, ready to change the channel the moment these musical miscreants come on. Not because of their lack of talent, but because it physically pains us to watch the contestants' eventual humiliation, ridiculous tirades about the unfairness of the judges (the show has been on six years, afterall, so they shouldn't be surprised), and the heart-breaking crying jags shown in all their snotty glory.

Love or hate the audition rounds, every once in a while a sob story can turn into a success. Just ask Wiliam Hung.

My female friends and I often muse that if we were given a personal chef, a personal trainer, and a personal hair and makeup person, we too could look as good as any starlet out there. Apparently, though, another type of personal assistant is needed to attain the immaculately kept mien of Madonna: A personal spiritual advisor.

MSNBC.com reports that "Kabbalah big-wig Eitan Yardeni has moved to London, according to an insider, to help oversee the Material Girl’s personal and professional life."

Says the source, Her Madgesty "sort of can't make a move without" the Kabbalah Centre's celebrity liason. Sure, folks have had gurus and personal confessors (Confessions on a Dance Floor, anybody?) for ages, but it's sad to hear that the woman who once told a generation to "Express Yourself, Don't Repress Yourself" allegedly can't make a decision without the aid of a spiritual Svengali.

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